2/13/08

Two Criticisms and a Bonus Mad Lib

This article is okay enough. However, I am going to try my hand, here, at Empiricus' technique. Which he's already done twice today. I don't care. I was gonna do it anyway.

Pianist Denk makes virtuostic Houston Symphony debut

Pianist Jeremy Denk made an impressive Houston Symphony debut Friday evening at Jones Hall — displaying not only technical virtuosity but a genuinely expressive style

That sounds good!

in his work as soloist for Bach's Piano Concerto No. 1.

What? I’ve never heard of that piece. Because it does not exist. Bach never wrote a piano concerto. In fact, he never wrote anything for the piano. Because there weren’t really pianos. Harpsichords, clavichords, virginals, and other keyboards were common. The early fortepiano was sort of being invented in Bach’s time, but that’s not the same thing. Let’s give the dead guys some respect and call their works by their names.

As the Bach Concerto was flanked by two of the best-loved staples of the concert repertoire, Brahms' Variations on a Theme of Haydn and Sibelius' Symphony No. 2,

Speaking of which, why is the Brahms title italicized but not the Sibelius? Or the Bach (improper) title in the previous paragraph. I wish someone would standardize such things in some kind of Manual of Style.

both given stirring renditions by the orchestra under the masterful direction of guest conductor Peter Oundjian, the program added up to a consistently exciting evening of great music.

Consistently exciting? That sounds boring. Like a Bruckheimer film.

An authoritative conductor whose manner on the podium is often dramatic yet not overly effusive, Oundjian brought confident control to the Sibelius — attentive to the work's most minute detail, yet never losing sight (or sound) of the grandeur of its overall architecture.

Good, finally, some good news. I wonder if he was a thruster or a waver?

But now: Mad Lib time! It’s my first one. I’m kind of nervous.

Arrange the extracted adjectives into their appropriate positions. (I alphabetized them!) Also, I've given the composer and piece, so you don't have to guess. Unless you want to.

emphatic
percolating
powerful
pulsating
skittering
startling
tiptoeing

This was clear from the first statement of the ________ figure in the strings that opens the first movement — and out of which all of that movement's music seems to grow organically. The orchestra sustained the sense of ________ forces ebbing and flowing throughout the movement's development.

And on through the Andante movement, with its deceptively understated beginning, ________ pizzicato lines in the lower strings, and the subtle build to those always ________ chords of ________ punctuation from the brass section.

The Scherzo, with its ________ strings and ________ woodwinds, received a deft treatment — and a lovely one in the movement's pastoral Trio section, its lyricism given full measure by principal oboist Robert Atherholt in the solo part.

Good luck! Click here for the original.

8 comments:

Empiricus said...

C'mon, put me in coach. I'm ready to play. Here's my guess:

"powerful figure,"
"percolating forces,"
"tiptoeing pizzicato lines,"
"startling chords,"
"emphatic punctuation,"
"skittering strings" and
"pulsating woodwinds"

4 for 7. Blecccht!

"Pulsating figure?" Yuck.

Empiricus said...

C'mon, put me in coach. I'm ready to play. Here's my guess:

"powerful figure,"
"percolating forces,"
"tiptoeing pizzicato lines,"
"startling chords,"
"emphatic punctuation,"
"skittering strings" and
"pulsating woodwinds"

4 for 7. Blecccht!

"Pulsating figure?" Yuck.

Murderface said...

I just put 'em in alphabetically. It worked fine.

And how DARE you call Bruckheimer boring. There is nothing boring about the way he eats babies. After molesting them.

In a satanic ritual.

With corn and gravy. He basically makes KFC "Famous Bowls" out of baby meat, is what I'm saying.

AnthonyS said...

Jesus Christ, Murderface, don't forget the cheese!

The "Famous Bowls" (whether baby meat or original recipe chicken) gots to have the cheese!!?!?!

Insidey-joke P.S. --> I heard an ad on the radio that the buttered lobster bites are coming back.

Murderface said...

God. Damn. It.

Buttered lobster bites come back to Texas and I'm stuck here in Grenada with a nothing but a coastline full of crappy old fresh langoustine.

Aaron said...

This was clear from the first statement of the startling figure in the strings that opens the first movement — and out of which all of that movement's music seems to grow organically. The orchestra sustained the sense of powerful forces ebbing and flowing throughout the movement's development.

And on through the Andante movement, with its deceptively understated beginning, tiptoeing pizzicato lines in the lower strings, and the subtle build to those always percolating chords of emphatic punctuation from the brass section.

The Scherzo, with its pulsating strings and skittering woodwinds, received a deft treatment — and a lovely one in the movement's pastoral Trio section, its lyricism given full measure by principal oboist Robert Atherholt in the solo part.

Well, I got three.

"Pulsating figure" indeed. Does that come with a 12-inch pianist?

Aaron said...

Also I just figured out the secret identity of murderface. Bwahahaha!

Sator Arepo said...

Indeed. Murderface is...the bassist for the World's Most Popular Metal Band: Deathklok!

And good work on the mad lib. It sucked! Skittering, indeed.