The Silliest Opening Sentence Ever

Richard Harrington, a staff writer for the Washington Post, was asked to write a preview for the upcoming Laptop Orchestra concert, performing at the Kennedy Center’s Theatre Lab. He opens with something that may be loosely categorized as “free-association.” I find it really, really silly. Especially considering that the entire article is well-written, for the most part, except for this little part:

A Laptop Orchestra performance looks like a bunch of students working in a college library, intently focused on their screens as they contemplate assorted mouse movement.

Like I said, aside from the opening sentence, this is probably the worst bit of writing. This isn’t all that bad, either. It just implies that the orchestra is, perhaps, a little nerdy, or, maybe, even intellectual. No biggie.

But the opening sentence... whew! It’s a gasser. It’s so stupid, it’s stupid-er than this dorky witticism:

It’s a brave new platform...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Now that’s wordplay! Get it? Platform? Laptops? A Brave New World? Aldous Huxley? A Tokyo Laptop Orchestra?

Okay, really. There’s nothing else to make fun of. It’s a good article. Except the opening sentence. Which is totally lame. And he’s entirely correct.

No one will ever confuse Tokyo’s Laptop Orchestra with the Duke Ellington or Count Basie orchestras.

No. I don’t believe anyone will.

Thank you.
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