A Modern, Mild-Mannered Admonishment

Because adjectives and adverbs are unavoidable, I’d like to refresh our vocabulary:

1. Lyrical means, “expressing the writer’s emotions in an imaginative and beautiful way.” However, in music lingo, it simply means “like a [beautifully] singing voice.”

2. Mildly means, “in a mild manner, without anger or severity” or “not seriously or dangerously” or “to a slight extent.”

3. Dissonant means, “lacking harmony” or “unsuitable or unusual in combination” or “sounding apart.”

4. Chords are “a group of (typically three or more notes) sounded together.”

So when one says:

The third movement introduced the lyrical playing of mildly dissonant chords.

One is really saying, “The third movement introduced the beautiful, singing-like playing of slightly clashing combinations of a series of simultaneous notes.”

See how this game works? Good.

Not surprisingly, however, this is something that must be overcome.

Despite the inherently modern harmonies...

5. Despite means, “without being affected by; in spite of.”

6. Inherently means, “existing in something as a permanent, essential or characteristic attribute.”

7. Modern, in music, means, “ugly or bad; usually denoting an incompatible aesthetic or philosophy.” Look it up—it’s really there!

8. Harmony means, “the combination of simultaneously sounded notes to produce chords and chord progressions having a pleasing effect.”

When translated, this reads: “In spite of the characteristically ugly attributes of the series of clashing combinations of simultaneous sounding notes...”

...the music sounded distinctly romantic in character.

9. Romantic means, “redeeming” or "better than modern."
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This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

It seems to me that there are too many things.

We've become so inundated with things that they are only describable in relation to other, familiar things. Well, at least it feels that way.

The SciFi Channel has a new show, "Eureka," which it describes as a series

...about a secret government facility in South Dakota where all mysterious relics and supernatural souvenirs are housed, is emblematic of the channel’s programming direction. “It is a dramedy and it is set in the here and now. It’s a kind of an Indiana Jones meets ‘Moonlighting’ meets ‘The X-Files,’” Mr. Howe said. “This is a very accessible, relatable, fun show.” [Edit: Sorry SA, the colors were too modern]

Wow. Now that sounds compelling! And vaguely familiar!

The Simpsons (as usual) have already lampooned this concept with their (deliberately) short-lived character, Poochie the Dog.

Figure 1: Poochie Is Mad Irreverent!

Poochie even has a little "song" wherein he describes his corporate brain trust-generated character concept:

"Poochie Rap"

The name's Poochie D
And I rock the telly,
I'm half Joe Camel
And a third Fonzarelli.
I'm the kung fu hippie
From gangsta city,
I'm a rappin' surfer,
You the fool I pity.

Ah. That's the stuff. Spell it on out for us, Poochie!

Fortunately for us, this concept seems to be running, or bleeding, into other areas. Here's Sally Vallongo's review of the Toledo Opera's performance of Strauss' Salome.

Opera gives us many twisted heroines, but surely no other femme is quite so fatale as Salome.

Surely. Can you give a contemporary example of such a figure?

In today’s celebrity-fixated world, Salome would be part Britney and part Paris, a juicy, amoral beauty who answers to little past her own twisted ambitions.

Sweet. Now I want to go to Toledo!* Anything else to which I can easily relate? Something facile, perhaps? A dash of Lindsay Lohan?

Beneath a mane of hair a la Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City, [soprano Amy] Johnson floats and gyrates across the stage...

Oh. Well, crap.

Perhaps...perhaps we're interrogating the high art/low art dichotomy with this kind of comparison?

Figure 2: Salome (Lovis Corinth, 1900)

Figure 3: Reminds One of Figure 2, Yes? (Photo: Washington Post)

(If they're femmes fatales, does that mean they're dead?)

What's that funny taste in my mouth? Tastes like...dumbed down. Mmmm, dumbed down...

*May not be true.

[Edit: 3/20/2009: The SciFi show is not in fact Eureka, it's Warehouse 13.]

Dogma

True and false, black and white, right and wrong, good and bad. What do these oppositions all have in common? They are dangerously dogmatic and assume metaphysical absolutes.

And you know who deals in absolutes?

















Figure 1: A Sith Lord? (hat tip to Say No to Crack)

My money’s on David Hurwitz:

These are musical facts that can't be avoided. [it. mine]

...referring to the Brandenburg Concerti.

[Where], the presence of a full-bodied tutti only highlights more effectively the contrast between solo and orchestral episodes and encourages a wider range of dynamic shading (those "terraced" dynamics can be even more "terraced").

...in opposition to the release of a one-to-a-part, period chamber music approach.

(Does anyone remember the recent, infamous stir caused by a British conductor, who decided to eliminate vibrato from an Elgar piece? Well, no one died as a result.)

Granted, period music does seem to assert some intellectual superiority, but who cares? What kind of music connoisseur landscape have we cultivated where we get so pissed off by such small details, where we cannot tolerate different interpretations, where opinions turn to facts, truths, the right way to do things? I seem to remember several recent wars caused by proselytizing opinions as facts (relationship to David’s review exaggerated, but still).

Listen, “a full-bodied tutti” may “more effectively” highlight grosso and dynamic contrast, but you’ll never get that in writing from four out of five doctors. Know why? Because it depends on what you are trying to highlight, which could be any number of things. This means that “effectively” becomes a questionable opinion, not an absolute fact.
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Attack of the Emphatic Modifiers

Musical criticism, as we've said countless times, is difficult. One of the issues facing the writer is praising and/or lauding the performers, performance, or music without coming across as over-effusive.

Emphatic modifiers--words or clauses that amplify (or, less often, clarify) other terms used--can be very effective (see what I did there?). When overused, the emphasis can be somewhat diluted (see?). Over-overuse can rob the emphatics of all of their...emphasis.

Here, Jeffrey Rossman of the Classical Voice of North Carolina gives a super-glowing account of the Guarneri String Quartet.

We may not all look like it, but chamber music enthusiasts are a hardy and tenacious species.

We are? Oh, good. I'd hate to think we were only hardy or tenacious, but not both.

Despite torrential rains, temperatures hovering at the freezing mark, and dire predictions of every conceivable form of precipitation,

While I am sure the rains were torrential and the predictions dire, that sounds like spring in Iowa to me. Anyway, so despite the preceding...

hundreds of fans trekked to Raleigh's Fletcher Opera Theater for a truly special event.

Truly? Oh, good. I hate ordinary special events. Or worse, falsely special events.

The Raleigh Chamber Music Guild landed one of the coveted stops on the final season tour of the highly esteemed Guarneri String Quartet.

Is the Guarneri Quartet "highly" esteemed? I'd have to say yes: but that's one more modifier, please and thank you! Also, I have no doubt that the Guild landed a "coveted" stop on their farewell tour, but in fairness, the tour does include 37 other concerts.

Figure 1: The Guarneri String Quartet

The Quartet announced that after a phenomenal run of 45 years

Phenomenal! Modified! Again: fair. Again: modified. Again.

The Quartet announced that after a phenomenal run of 45 years – with only one personnel change – the 2008-09 season would be their last together as a string quartet.

The Quartet announced that this was their last season...as a quartet? Okay...

Like most string players of such a high caliber, you'd have to pry their bows from their cold dead hands, so thankfully this does not mean total retirement from other musical endeavors for each individual player.

What? Again, please.

Like most string players of such a high caliber, you'd have to pry their bows from their cold dead hands,

Implied: in order to...make them stop playing entirely? Bury them in standard-sized coffins? Submit to Cubo-Soviet communist rule?

Fig 2: Wolverines!

so thankfully this does not mean total retirement from other musical endeavors for each individual player.

Oh. In re: Total retirement: The Quartet is retiring as a quartet per se, but that doesn't mean they can't play their instruments anymore. (At least not if Patrick Swayze has anything to say about it.)

The line-up of this most venerated string quartet

Venerated? Certainly. Most venerated? Emphatic effect...fading...

is a veritable who's who of musicians:

Ah, the use of veritable emphasizes the aptness of the metaphor!

violinists Arnold Steinhardt and John Dalley, Michael Tree, viola, and Peter Wiley, cello, who in 2000 replaced the original cellist and his teacher and mentor, David Soyer.

He replaced the original cellist and his teacher David Soyer in the same year?! Wow!

In addition to their recording and performing of nearly the entire standard string quartet repertoire as well as contemporary works,

It's nice that they gave the standard rep enough attention to perform it as well as they performed contemporary works? Wait, what? Oh. Ambiguity commas something something. I get it. Carry on.

the Guarneri has been featured on television shows and DVD documentaries and has also been both subject and author of several books on string quartet playing.

Technical question: can the quartet be an "author"? "Authors" seems awkward as well. Anyone?

Let's hope that, as is often the case with retirement victory laps, this one is premature and reconsidered.

Let's do!

The afternoon began where the string quartet itself originated – from the fertile mind of Franz Joseph Haydn.

The afternoon began...from the fertile mind of Haydn? I'm not sure the dash is working properly; can you try another?

They chose the nicknamed "Rider" quartet, the last of his Opus 74 collectively called the "Apponyi Quartets" – popularly named because of the galloping rhythmic effect in the outer movements.

The Apponyi quartets were "...popularly named because of the galloping rhythmic effect in the outer movements."? That seems odd. Maybe your dash is still broken; try setting off the aside with a set of dashes, the first replacing the comma between "quartet" and "the". Thusly:

"They chose the nicknamed "Rider" quartet – the last of his Opus 74 collectively called the "Apponyi Quartets" – popularly named because of the galloping rhythmic effect in the outer movements."

Also, the Op. 71 works are also known as "Apponyi" quartets. That's just an FYI. Ugh, now I'm off-topic. Moving on:

As the Guarneri Quartet played this work, and the others in the program, one thought back to 1964, the year they formed as a group.

One did? We? You? Was it you? I bet it was. (Also: was there a different year in which they formed, but not "as a group"?)

Of course it is impossible to compare live performances from the time LBJ was president to this frightening time,

Why would one compare performances from 1964 to the ("frightening") age we live in? That seems like comparing apples and riding mowers.

Oh, comparing performances from 1964 to performances in our "frightening time" is...impossible. Well, I'm not sure that's true...we do have recordings, after all, from the 60s. But the use of "of course" and "impossible" rhetorically confer an authority to your assertion that is, perhaps, unfounded. Was 1964 really not a "frightening" time?

Fig 3: Frightening

Fig 4: (Apparently) Not Frightening

but one thing is for certain:

Well, as long as it's for certain...

this is not a group that is just going through the motions and resting on their considerable reputation.

It's hard to rest upon your reputation unless it is considerable, I reckon.

Although they are somewhat austere and solemn in their demeanor, their playing continues to be engaged and alive. The Haydn quartet served as a perfect catalyst to break down the doldrums of the weather and the somewhat dangerous trip to this wonderfully intimate and acoustically balanced venue.

Ah, nicely done. All of the negative or scary clauses ("austere and solemn" and "dangerous") are mediated by "somewhat" to lessen the effect of the criticism, while the choice of programming and venue ("perfect catalyst" and "wonderfully intimate") are further emphasized.

Although far from contemporary, Zoltan Kodály's second string quartet, completed in 1918...

Who said anything about contemporary? What are we talking about?

Although far from contemporary, Zoltan Kodály's second string quartet, completed in 1918, is a still seldom performed work that perhaps adds to his reputation as Bartók lite.

Yeah, you know what else contributes to Kodály's reputation as "Bartók lite"? People who insist on repeating this (at best) back-handed compliment whenever they fucking write about him. Let's be sure and not consider Kodály on his own terms; we might have to memorize another name!

Fig 5: Kodály: All the Hungarian-ness, now with half the tritones!

Also, the sentence above makes no sense unless you hyphenate "seldom-performed".

This two-movement quartet, infused with Hungarian folk idioms. [sic] gave cellist Wiley the spotlight for much of the work. He is masterful in his ability to alternate between a bright, piercing sound to a rich, rounded baritone that vibrates your chair.

Whose chair? One's chair?

It is a sure bet...

Oh, boy.

It is a sure bet that you will put more paying behinds in the seats when you program one of the most celebrated string quartets ever written: Maurice Ravel's only work in that medium.

Do we have some data on that? No? Crap. How about a guide to awkward, circuitous sentence construction? Working on it? Get back to me on that one.

Dedicated to Gabriel Fauré and premiered in 1904, it is hard to believe that this was written while Ravel was still a student at the Paris Conservatoire.

Actually, the facts that (1) the piece was premiered in 1904 and (2) dedicated to Fauré put Ravel squarely still at the Conservatoire (he left in 1905). If the intent was to express surprise at, oh, something like the advanced harmonic language or sophisticated string writing, the opening clause of that sentence isn't helping.

The opening movement, with its beautiful rising cello line, is arguably the most sensuous music ever written.

Quick! Name the most sensuous music ever written! Do it! I'll wait...

...I know, right?

The hedging ("arguably") counterpoints the hyperbole ("most") nicely in order to say: basically nothing.

The Guarneri quartet imbued the music with the right balance of heart, mind, and muscle – especially in the deceptively difficult pizzicato movement. The Ravel quartet, even more than others, will lay like a dead fish if you play it without an emotional involvement,

Whoa. The Ravel Quartet is like...I can't even do it. I can't go there. Pass.

and these musicians invested it with the same passion as they may have done as beginners in 1964.

Aaaaand the paragraph wraps up nicely with an bit of unfounded speculation.

A well-deserved standing ovation brought the group back for an obviously pre-arranged encore – which brings me to my sole negative comment.

*Gasp!* I hope its effect is mediated somehow!

A beautiful Bach-like fugal opening section led to a classical style middle section that had everyone stumped and asking, "Do you know what that encore was?" I have heard many performers, even in very broken and painful English, announce their encores, so it seemed a bit haughty to not say one word during the entire concert.

Ah, yes. "A bit" haughty. Good, good. The circle is complete.

However, my unnamed source did discover that this little gem was the slow movement from Mozart's Quartet in F, K.168.

Oh unnamed source, what would we have done without you?

Fast Eddie on Effective Symphonic Programming in a Tough Economy

The following is an excerpt from an interview with renowned critic-scholar Fast Eddie at an undisclosed location.

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[Empiricus] Some say the symphonic organizations are being hit very hard by this econom...

[Fast Eddie] Yeah, yeah. The economy this and the economy that, profit margins, season ticket subscriptions, local business donations, dwindling audiences, dying patrons, and on and on...

You knows what? I got your problems fixed, sure as folded pizza. If ya listen to what I gotta say, you’ll make all the moolah you can eat. Ready?

First, that’ll be five bucks. [At this point Empiricus asks for change for a twenty-dollar bill. Fast Eddie waives his fee]

Okay. Bottom line, what cha gotta do is this—really simple: Ya gotta have fait[h] that the customer is always right. Don’t try to be smart—that’s for those Ivy League know-it-alls who’ve got nothin betta t’do than analyze stuff all day. If ya simply give ‘em what they ask for, and not what you think they might want, then you’re on your way to cabbage heaven. Stick to whacha know’ll work, the warhorses. Your 70-somethin customers’ll love ya. Just don’t surprise ‘em; the more surprisin you are, the worse odds you’re getting on your dough.

One catch: Ya gotta lower your overhead, see. Instead of a 100 person orchestra, how ‘bout a 50 person orchestra? Presto! That way you don’t have to give ‘em the world, just what you can afford. The suckers’ll lap it up. Sure, they’ll miss the Mahler, the Berlioz, the Strauss, for a while. But they’ll still love ya for the Mozart and ya don’t have to lower the prices, see.

[Empiricus] But there’ll be those who say that Mahler is a core part of the repertoire. Can we really set it aside, like you propose?

[Fast Eddie] Listen, this economy bull-puckey is just a self-correction. Got it? We were livin beyond our means. That goes for symphonies, too. I mean, look at the whole shebang: three-thousand seats, statues, gold railings, thirty ushers, guest solists, commissions, what have ya. And all for a puny two hours of 50 string players waiving horse hair across cat gut? Holy friggin cannoli, ya got 180 people on the payroll, right. How much does that cost? Way too much. Ya just can’t keep it goin. That’s like Imelda Marcos and shoes. If ya cut half the shoes out of the picture, bingo, you make more than you spend!

[Empiricus] I see. Has anyone taken your advice, Mr. Eddie?

[Fast Eddie] Glad you asked. The Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra recently purchased my patented advice; they even got a 20 percent discount, being they’re the first and all—I need t’get my brand out there, see.

Bang, they were going about their plan, throwing greenbacks at three Mahler Symphonies per season, right. Well, they took my award-winning wisdom and now they’re playin a bunch of Beethoven instead. Win-win, badda-bing.

They even got Scott Cantrell to hype it up as if nothin strange was happenin.

Instead of the planned performances of Mahler's Third, Fourth and Eighth symphonies, the FWSO will offer the ultimate in core repertory: Beethoven.

“Ultimate”: now that’s a winnin salesman!

The FWSO didn’t change the concert’s title, too.

The "Great Performances Festival," Aug. 28-30, will include Beethoven's Third, Fifth and Sixth symphonies, the first two piano concertos and the Violin Concerto.

They’re gonna play the safest—and most profitable—music in the encyclopedia.

Beethoven's Ninth Symphony will be performed during the FWSO's 2009-10 symphonic series...

But most strategic of all, they’re listenin to the suckers.

Most other programs include at least one work chosen by patrons in an audience survey.

Sure, they got some work to do still.

[Another] program will include the world premiere of a work by Peruvian composer Jimmy López. Jennifer Higdon, the orchestra's 2009-10 composer-in-residence, will be represented by four works on two different programs.

Guest conductors will be baroque-music specialist Nicholas McGegan, for music of Vivaldi, Haydn and Mozart; Giancarlo Guerrero, music director of the Nashville Symphony; and Mei-Ann Chen, assistant conductor of the Atlanta Symphony.

Soloists will include pianist Horacio Gutiérrez and violinists Midori, Sarah Chang and Jennifer Koh.

But there’s still time to cut more spending.
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Dead, like the English language

No, we’re not dead. Too bad I can’t say the same for the English language. Today’s steamy [...] comes from Long Beach, California.

On Saturday night, the Long Beach Symphony Orchestra proved it can play with superb power, shimmering sheer force that can fill the Terrace Theater of the Long Beach Performing Arts Center...

Judging from the awkwardness of this construction, I think we can safely say that John Ferrell is not a fan of articles and conjunctions.

...the Long Beach Symphony Orchestra proved it can play with superb power, shimmering sheer force that can fill the Terrace Theater of the Long Beach Performing Arts Center to overflowing.

The orchestra. Can play with superb power. That can fill the theatre. To overflowing?

[English language] Gulp.

That kind of power is exactly what Richard Wagner wanted for the overture to his opera "The Flying Dutchman," inspired as it was by the composer's personal experience in a violent storm at sea.

[Schrödinger to cat] Get in the box!

The opera itself is less violent: a tale of love and sacrifice. But the overture, with horns and trombones blaring out the Dutchman's theme like the roaring winds of a Baltic storm...

I like it when the roaring winds (I also like puns) blare out themes. Reminds me of things that fill to overflowing.

...is meant to be a little terrifying, a 19th-century musical version of a Bruce Willis action-adventure film.

Monteverdi’s madrigals: seventeenth-century musical versions of a Reinhold Weege sitcom set in a Manhattan court, at night, starring Harry Anderson and John Larroquette.

This is still a review, right?

That's the ride LBSO Music Director Enrique Arturo Diemecke provided for his audience.

Huh? What’s the “ride” he provided? That he proved the orchestra can play with power that fills to overflowing? That’s not exactly a ride. Then again, maybe my dictionary is wrong.

Power, even sophisticated power, is something you would reasonably expect from a large symphony orchestra. After all, if you gather together more than 70 professionals, arm them with well-designed noisemakers and let fly, you would expect something loud to result.

By my fancy inductive reasoning skills, I will now assume that whenever John says “power” he really means “loud.”

However, you might not expect the poetic - even dreamlike. The second work on Saturday's program, Estonian composer Arvo Pärt's meditative "Lamentate," featuring the orchestra's principal keyboard player, Gloria Cheng, as soloist, was exactly that.

Budding students take note: this is an exemplary passage demonstrating proficient text prolongation. If you need to fill your page count in a pinch, look no further.

Using almost the same orchestral forces...

Hmmm. Imagine that! An orchestral piece that makes use of almost the same forces as another orchestral piece.

There is power in his music...

Read: loud.

...especially in the opening, fugue-like movement, which crashes with abandon.

See? Inductive reasoning does work!

But the work moves elegantly into considerations of deeper emotion, thoughtful passages gently moving, full of deep longing and regret and sometimes painful resolution.

Could I say that the work fills out emotion to overflowing?

Despite appearances, Diemecke is not psychic.

















Figure 1: Diemecke

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We hope to get stuff up more regularly. See you then, Detritusites!
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Did Shaft Kill All of the Editors?

It's been apparent for some time now that the traditional print newspaper is in trouble. Not only little outlets are flailing--some of the bigger papers (see the Rocky Mountain News!) are going under.

Naturally (in the United States), as in public education, the arts are one of the first casualties in newspapers trying to stay solvent.

In many places, the "Arts" (or similar section(s)) are merely listings of upcoming events, and reviews are relegated to online-only or blog-only status. This, in addition to depriving the reader of information/opinion, has the following chilling effects:

1) The "review" is often only a perfunctory blog entry;

2) The reviewer can be given too many assignments to perform adequately;

3) The reviewers are often spread too thin, over a variety of media;

4) The nature of the "blog" review, as opposed to something that will appear in print, is often inadequately edited; sometimes, indeed, it seems, not edited at all.

We cannot, therefore, put the full blame on the reviewer when things turn out poorly.

Sure, we have room for pages and pages of full-color pics of what who-gives-a-fuck wore to the Oscars. And, as noted, print newspapers are hurting right now.

So it's frustrating when a hard-working staff and/or freelance writer like Jeanne Claire van Ryzin is forced into extra duties. She writes for the Austin American Statesman about, well, about everything musical that's not some kid in a coffee shop with his guitar or new band that thinks they'll get "discovered" at this year's SXSW. She covers music, visual art, dance, theater, and Jeebus knows what else...

...now, mostly, on her paper-hosted blog. She gets basically no in-print column inches, er, of which to speak.

Apparently editing, fact-checking, and spell-checking have been eliminated from the budget as well.

Review: A heaven-sent Rachmaninov's Vesper's

Hmm. Well. Good start JCvR, or whoever titles your blog posts...except for the part where "Vespers" [Wikipedia, sorry] is plural, and not possessive. Which is spelled--or, rather, punctuated--correctly for the rest of the review. Anyhow, proceed:

Grammy-nominated Austin choir Conspirare

While Conspirare may be good--and by all accounts they are--"Grammy-nominated" is about as impressive as "breathing humans." Even "Grammy Award-Winning" would put one in such exalted company as Michael Bolton and Hootie and the Blowfish.

Fig 1: A Grammy Award Winner

Grammy-nominated Austin choir Conspirare stunned and awed Saturday night with a heaven-sent (and sold-out) performance of Rachmaninov’s stirring Vespers at St. Martin’s Lutheran Church.

Heaven-sent, eh? Going for the religious angle on the ol' Vespers (AKA All-Night Vigil, Op. 37)? Let's see how that goes.

Hushed and full of reverence, Rachmaninov’s religious mass for unaccompanied chorus is exquisitely beautiful and a departure from the lush piano music or emotive symphonies for which the Russian composer is most commonly known.

Keeping track of adjectives, Rachmaninov's Vespers are:

Hushed, full of reverence, (exquisitely) beautiful

and not:

lush (like his piano music) or emotive (like his symphonies).

Considered the crowning achievement of Russian Orthodox choral music

Considered by whom? Critics? Experts? Many? How about a citation? Vague reference?

Considered the crowning achievement of Russian Orthodox choral music, the Vespers follow the rules governing the church’s music with no instruments accompanying the voices.

An awkward, if factually true sentence. Pass.

And yet, while Rachmaninov echoes the melodic style of traditional Orthodox Church chants

Well, to be accurate, 10 of the 15 sections of the Vespers are actually based on Russian Orthodox chants. And yet, while I guess this could be considered an "echo" of sorts, this is somewhat misleading. A minor point, albeit one that took me all of 30 seconds of research.

And yet, while Rachmaninov echoes the melodic style of traditional Orthodox Church chants, he nevertheless brings an undeniable — though carefully considered — sensuousness...

Vespers: Hushed, full of reverence, (exquisitely) beautiful, sensuous (undeniably);

Not: Lush, emotive.

And yet, while Rachmaninov echoes the melodic style of traditional Orthodox Church chants, he nevertheless brings an undeniable — though carefully considered — sensuousness with harmonies refined to almost a pure essence.

Read the last bit again:

...with harmonies refined to almost a pure essence.

I don't know what that means. Essence of what? Harmony? Sensuousness? Gelfling?

Fig 2: Skeksis Likes Essence, Too!

The fervid intent of the music’s spirituality is undeniable.

The piece...which was written for a church service, based upon traditional chants, intends to be...spiritual. Glad we sussed that one out. Also, using the word "undeniable" in both sentences of a two-sentence paragraph somewhat undermines its emphatic purpose.

Conspirare director Craig Hella Johnson

Seriously? That is awesome. My official unofficial blog middle blog name is now "Hella". Fuck and yes.

Conspirare director Craig Hella Johnson intimately understood the balance between the simplicity and sensuousness of Rachmaninov’s other-worldly score.

Vespers: Hushed, full of reverence, (exquisitely) beautiful, sensuous (undeniably) balanced with simplicity, otherworldly;

Not: Lush, emotive.

Does it seem like any of the words in the "not" category could easily be moved into the "Vespers descriptors" category? I think the difference in the sense of the review would be close to nil.

The choir’s intonation and vocal blend was seemless and perfect, the soloists appropriately soft, the basses gently hit the low B flats. St. Martin’s high-valuted sanctuary provided lovely — and appropriate — acoustical depth and resonance for the spiritually exalting music.

Wait, was this religious music? Because you totally forgot to mention that.

Conspirare’s exacting perfection never translates to stiff, pretentious or distant. Quite the opposite. There’s a sincerity and prescence that underlies every Conspirare concert. No wonder the audience on Saturday hushed on its own before anyone took the stage: The sublime beauty of Conspirare exudes always.

Lastly: "prescence" is, as far as I can tell, more of a common misspelling than a word.

Hopefully, in my overly-long preamble, I explicated my real complaint: The arts are getting the shaft so badly, not only are they losing printed space, but even the most cursory editing is eschewed.

Fig 3: He's coming for you, Arts coverage

Buy More Stuff!

The stock market plunged again on Friday, but the [Florida] orchestra had an answer to the deepening recession: the fun, unabashedly schmaltzy music of Vienna's chief waltz manufacturer [...].

Rats! Oh well, there’s always next year, Mr. President.

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And now for a word from Citigroup, the Ford Motor Company, and the St. Petersburg Times:

Lost most of your savings in the market over the past year or two? No worries, let the irresistible melody of On the Beautiful Blue Danube sweep your cares away.

Ignoring responsibility is always the best remedy.



Table 1. Buy more stuff
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Return: Wherein Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Is Achieved Through Reinforcement of Stereotypes

Mr Tommasini, reliable scribe at the ol' Times, went to see some underperformed 20th century stage operas. He was clearly impressed by the music and performances. But a few tidbits...tidbit me along the way.

Songs of a Pilot Crashing

Hmm.

Over the years the conductor Leon Botstein has received well-deserved credit for programming many overlooked 20th-century works in his concerts with the American Symphony Orchestra.

Agreed on all counts.

But he has paid a price, as was evident in the poor attendance for Mr. Botstein’s latest adventure in programming at Avery Fisher Hall on Friday night.

Well. Adventurous programming has always been risky, I reckon. Part of that price is people not...paying...a price. To see the concert, you see. What factors, one wonders, could go into not selling 2738 tickets to the residents of a city of over 8 million people?

The program, intimidatingly titled “Persecution and Hope: Masterworks of Conscience,”

I don't want to make myself sound like some kind of badass,

Fig. 1: A Badass

...okay, not even a contemporary concert going badass,

Fig. 2: A Different Kind of Badass

but generally speaking, I am not intimidated by program titles. Besides, "persecution" is clearly set against "hope" and "conscience". And "masterworks" makes me want to see the program more than, say "second-rate commercial schlock".

Well...fine. I'll fess up. I am not a badass, as this:

Fig. 3: Noooooooooo!

scares the shit out of me. Anyway, back to the subject at hand.

The program, intimidatingly titled “Persecution and Hope: Masterworks of Conscience,” offered concert performances of two one-act operas by the Italian modernist

Red flag! Modernist!

Luigi Dallapiccola: “Volo di Notte” (1939) and “Il Prigioniero” (1948).

Got it. 60 and 70 year-old short operas of the WWII era.

It is baffling that these arresting operas, each less than an hour long, with librettos by Dallapiccola, are so seldom heard in the United States.

Is that because no one comes to see them, or is attendence low because they are seldom performed?

The admirably curious concertgoers

Seeking out the new or obscure is...admirable. Curiosity--athestetic, intellectual, or otherwise--is not a common trait among patrons of the arts, generally speaking?

gave a long ovation to Mr. Botstein, who conducted generally strong performances; the orchestra, which played with lush sound and dramatic sweep; the fine solo singers; and the excellent Concert Chorale of New York.

Well, at least all four of them liked it (and it sounds like the performances were good). But seriously: Telling people they are not supposed (or able) to "get" something will, likely, not encourage them to go next time. Or to subsequent performances.

Dallapiccola, who died in 1975, has never been able to shed the label “12-tone composer,” which will always put off segments of the audience.

No one said anything about this until you brought it up, Mr T. His inability to shed that label is attributable, at least in part, to writers repeating that line about his inability to shed that label. See how that works?

An avowed anti-Fascist, he became the leading exponent of 12-tone techniques and serialism in Italy.

True, and true...but confusing. How does part one of that sentence lead to part 2? Is serialism inherently anti-Fascist? One could make that argument, of course, but it could as easily read:
"An avowed coffee lover, he became the leading Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas".

Meh. Moving on:

Yet following the example of Alban Berg, Dallapiccola combined serialism with elements of tonality to give his scores an elusive harmonic allure.

Elusive...or allusive?

And you cannot be an Italian composer, it would seem, without acquiring a feeling for Italianate lyricism, which Dallapiccola had in abundance.

Good thing he wasn't Swedish! It'd be all frosty this, fjord that. Or an effeminate Frenchman. No lyricism in France. Swarthy Spaniards, Bad-toothed Brits, even the Stoned Dutch are welcome to mold the 12-tone system to their National Stereotypes!

(Also: passive voice much, Paper of Record?)

Cutting to the end (the rest of the review available via the link above):

Given his avowed interest in 20th-century opera James Levine should bring this Dallapiccola double bill to the Metropolitan Opera. If that happens, Mr. Botstein will have pointed the way with this significant, if underattended, concert.

1) Why is everyone "avowed" all of a sudden?
2) Well-said, Mr Tommasini. Let's bring Luigi to the Met.

Finally, here is a picture of Dallapiccola that is fun to look at:

Fig 4: Lyrical Italian Modernist Smoker/Composer

Detritus Brothers Triumphant Return

My absence is due to laziness. Deal with it.

[Augustin] Hadelich and [Peter] Stumpf gave the most exciting performance of the evening in Kodaly’s 1914 Duo for Violin and Cello, Op. 7.

Well hello, Herman. Nice to see you.

This music studies the relationship between the...

Bwanh! For the sixty-millionth time, I strongly dislike the personification of music. A composer writes it. Okay? A performer plays it. Got it? And a listener listens to it. That’s it. Pieces. Don’t. Do. Anything.

Only Disney can make that kind of shit happen.

This music studies the relationship between the flowing lyricism and the rich, warm stridency of the strings.

Even if this were somehow possible, it would be an awfully generic thing to study: the relationship between characteristics and different characteristics.

Language just isn’t useful anymore.

There was no question artists were right on top of its passion and drama...

Again, what possesses the passion and drama? It? They? Him? Neuter? Kodaly? An inanimate series of symbols?

...deftly exchanging difficult pizzicato exchanges...

How fractal.

...and applying captivating phrasing to its many Hungarian folk tunes and rhythms.

There you have it.
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Absence Excuse

Hello readers,

Sator Arepo has been and will be ill for a few weeks. Thanks to Big E. for keeping it fresh. I'll be back as soon as possible with lots to say.

SA

Spare Some Change?

The Miami Herald gave up some space for recently-retired high school counselor Robin Sarantos, PhD, to make a plea for more music education in our schools. Sounds great. I’m all for it.

So let’s rip it up!

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But first, let’s start with the ending, also known as the “thesis,” in some rhetorical circles.

Music Education is one business that must be on top of the investment podium.

Great! Now, sell it.

Music -- it lifts the soul.

By “soul,” I hope you mean, “It increases the levels of dopamine produced by the adrenal medula—first signaled by the pituitary—which rewards pleasurable activities.” Just saying.

It allows the mind and body to express their deepest yearnings.

...like acrylic bronzing on a bodybuilder.













Figure 1. Yearning expressed, rewarded


Even the youngest can feel this.

100% right! They do have brains...

...with basic skill sets and learning capabilities.

Contemporary, classical, rock music -- all types stimulate the mind.

Uh-oh. See, a perception is a reaction to some kind of stimulation, in this case aural stimulation, or air pressure. Thus, EVERY kind of music is a kind of stimulation. I just don’t think Robin is saying what she thinks she’s saying.

Music allows for imagination...

Stimulates the imagination.

...and helps children to focus.

Kind of. I would say, rather, “music is something on which to focus.”

Whatever. All I’m saying is that to convince your local superintendent to give your music program more money probably requires a little less romanticizing and a little more concrete evidence.

Music then is an important part of education.

And, like I said before: I agree. But...

Indeed, sharing music can become one of those delightful parent or grandparent experiences.

Irrelevant.

And it doesn't cost a thing.

You’re not helping your cause. Remember: You’re trying to get more money.

Remember: Kids love an audience.

And? That’s why we need more money for more music in our schools?

Frequently, a teacher will have classical music playing as a class enters. It relaxes.

That is, if you believe your local classical radio station. Instead, how about smaller class sizes? Better teachers? Fewer standardized tests? Anything but teaching your kids that classical music is boring!

It calms and can increase academic performance.

Arg! But you haven’t mentioned that it might be related to problem solving instead of sedation. Causality is important here.

And children learn ''concert etiquette'' by going to musical programs.

...?...

Learning appropriate manners at concerts transfers to other educational settings and environments as well as classroom behavior.

Weird association. So, “concert etiquette” teaches children to behave; and that’s why we should want more money for our school music programs?

Music doesn’t teach them how to successfully write grants, but at least there’ll be less need, thus cost, to have armed police officers on campus.

Music programs in schools invite the public to attend their concerts. There will be many spring concerts. Some are free. Other facilities charge a couple of dollars.

Totally irrelevant.

Concert bands, orchestras and jazz are so important in school.

I way hear you.

Financial times are hard. Budgets are stretched to the limit. But we must not allow schools to cancel their performing arts programs.

I still way hear you.

Cut back -- perhaps. Cancel, no.

I’m so with you.

Parents need to rally and insist that part of a well-rounded education includes being exposed to music.

Like, I’m totally, so way with you.

The fine arts programs pay dividends throughout the child's life and into adulthood. Youngsters are our future and we need to invest heavily in them.

Dude. Right on!

Music Education is one business that must be on top of the investment podium.

Why was that, again?
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Craigslist: Gusman Hall Area, FL

For sale: A nicely performed Schubert. Only 201 years-old! Sorry, no longer under factory warranty.

Written in the last year of Schubert's short life -- the composer died at 31 -- the [Piano Sonata in B flat, D. 960] carries a firm sense of autobiography...

Autobiography actually lost in house fire, around 1885 (?). All other documentation lost as well. But take it from an experienced musician who has owned this magnificent piece for over 30 years!

May contain structural redundancy:

[Pianist Radu] Lupu's explosive minor-key outbursts showed that there is no victory to be found beneath the work's surface superficialities.

Otherwise in near mint condition. Has been played on a Steinway from the best years (mid-1920s).

A one of a kind piece, adorned with many colorful adjectives!

...its main theme's progress continually undermined by malign bass trills and harmonic displacement.

and

...the works' improvisatory qualities with their dynamic jolts and hectic humor.

Recently inspected by the Miami Herald. Selling for $12,500 (appraised at $15,000) OBO. You won’t be disappointed! Take it for a test drive, here, here, here, here, and here.

Scammers not welcome.
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Composer of the Day!

Today’s Composer of the Day is Lukas Foss.

(1922-2009)

Like many European composers, Lukas Foss moved to the United States in the 1930s. He even changed his name—it was originally Lukas Fuchs. He studied with a number of music biggies, including: Louis Moyse (flute), Fritz Reiner and Serge Koussevitsky (conducting), and Paul Hindemith (composition).

Later, he replaced Arnold Schoenberg at UCLA. He was also found hanging around Boston University for some time.

His music is all over the place, stylistically, and it’s darn good.


I couldn’t find a good-sounding YouTube video of his music, but I did find a fun two-part lecture, where he talks about Igor Stravinsky:

Part I
Part II

Also, here’s a link to Art of the States, who is streaming Foss’ Concerto for Percussion and Orchestra (1974).

On a sad note, Lukas Foss died yesterday, February 1st, 2009. You should’ve listened to his music. But now you should listen to his music.

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Also, Detritus favorite Matthew Guerrieri of Soho the Dog studied with Lukas Foss.
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Titles Are Meaningless

As titles go, some are pretty disconnected from the gist of the text, and since they aren’t always chosen by the author, it’s a double-edged sword, a "chicken or the egg?" question: who’s to blame? The author or the editor?

Take this gem from The Barre-Montpillier Times Argus:

Is new music cutting edge anymore?

Thinking to myself: Hmmm. That’s good question. Isn’t it? I suppose I have my opinion, but I’ll reserve that until I read the rest of the article. I’m reasonable, right? Right.

To all the Detritusites: Given the title, it would seem to follow that we’re about to read a piece about how new music is, or is not, pushing the boundaries. Are you on the same page with me?

Good. Let’s go.

It's been a long time since Vermont audiences have had to be conned into listening to contemporary music, particularly music from their own state.

Uh, two things. One, define “a long time,” please. Seems to me I remember a concert on November 15th, featuring Elliott Cater and Olivier Messiaen, another the 14th before that, and two more October 18th and 17th before that. And those just by the ensemble about whom this article was written.

Moreover, “conned?” If the title is any indicator, then it sounds like our author hasn’t been conned for a long while, the last time only because they featured a raffle for a brand new Sega Genesis.

But it was the Vermont Contemporary Music Ensemble, a group of central Vermont professional musicians, that broke the ice – beginning its crusade to bring today's music to today's audiences more than 20 years ago.

Huh. So really our author means, “Back in 1989, it had been a long time since Vermont audiences were conned.”

Or the title’s “cutting edge” refers to breaking the ice, somehow. I don’t know.

But what I do know is that the rest of the article is a neutral sort of puff piece, kindly describing the new pieces on the upcoming program, putting the performers under the spotlight, etc., etc.

So what gives? Is new music cutting edge? Hello? Did the editor actually read the piece? Or did the author decide to inject his opinion in the title and proceed to write some rather pleasant puffery?

Titles are meaningless.

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One more “chicken or the egg?” gaffe:

Unlike the recent [Vermont Symphony Orchestra] program titled "Romance," there's no theme here.

But earlier:

Next weekend, the VCME will present "Enchanted," [...].
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Old Is the New New?

As a rule of thumb, I blindly support most new music organizations and their endeavors. Take Akron’s Tuesday Musical Association, for instance:

Tuesday Musical is embracing music made by artists who haven't been dead for more than a century.

...which includes such composers as Saint-Saens, Bruch, Massenet, Sarasate, Fuchs, d’Indy, Janacek, Elgar, Chaminade, Ysaye, Puccini, Mahler, Debussy (who could forget Debussy), Dukas, Busoni, and even Richard Strauss, to name a few.

Hooray, I kinda suppose. Just ask Tuesday Musical’s executive director about the FUZE concert series:

''The target audience is adventurous listeners.”

and...

''What we envisioned was, this series would be presented in an intimate space and what better place than the museum?''

While, yeah, they’re playing newish music, boo, they’re playing it in a museum. Is anyone else’s Irony Meter furiously flashing red?

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To their credit, the FUZE concerts sound more hip than Malcolm X Abram's puff piece or I make them out to be.
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Thinking Food

So, it's not so much of a critique as it is a I-shoulda-thought-about-it-more-so-let's-think-about-here post.

Having pondered it for a while, I decided to sign the petition to create a cabinet-level post for the arts. Unfortunately, I didn’t bother to think about the ramifications of having the arts bureaucratized. What would it look like? David A. Smith of the Wall Street Journal has some interesting things to say about it. I don't think it's as bad as he portrays, but he nonetheless makes his argument well.

Needless to say, I no longer have an answer, but still something tells me that it’s probably a good idea, at least in theory.

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Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Anton.

Anton who?

Anton Bruckner. Now, give me Beethoven’s skull or suffer the consequences.

What are the consequences?

Adjectives.
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Post-Post-Intelligencer

This, a brief lapse of memory, from R.M. Campbell of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

They played with fervor and refinement, poise and accuracy, despite the occasional slipping of pitch.

The meaningful thing to take away from that is that the pitches slipped. A couple of sentences later:

It would be hard to imagine a more riveting or illuminating reading.

Um, well...
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The Ever-Grumpy Crumpie

Fox News is something of an odd interest of mine. Their brazenly argumentative style and ass-kissing provides much unintended humor for my masochistic sensibilities. I mean, who could keep a straight face when, instead of calling the recession a recession, they call it an “economic tsunami?” That’s sure to elicit the kind of viewer response for which I’m sure they’re aiming. But I find it so grossly transparent, it becomes funny. Still, their slogan, however trampled upon it may be, is composed of ideals fundamental to the notion of a free press: Fair and Balanced. That is, biased reporting tends to distort and deceive; fair and balanced reporting, on the other hand, allows us to make informed decisions.

Now, in Music Criticland this becomes somewhat complicated, where opinions, not facts, are the precious commodity. Unfortunately, opinions come with a certain amount of bias, impinging negatively on the tenets of fairness and balance, which can distort the reader’s impressions or decision-making abilities. If I were to say, “This review is about a genius named Bach—oh, by the way, Telemann was an abominable fucktard,” could anyone take me seriously? An opinion like that is so irrationally vindictive, so incredibly devoid of informative context that only a mother could refuse to spit on it. Conversely, if I had said, “This is a review about a genius named Bach, whose reputation in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries was lesser than his now oft-shunned contemporary, Telemann,” then, one, my tone is civil (a rhetorical virtue) and, two, I am now charged with the task of substantiating my claim. It’s a win-win for everyone: I don’t sound like an ass and the reader can expect an informed opinion. Even though critics deal in opinions, there are ways to be intelligent, informative and responsible, i.e., otherwise fair and balanced. Simple, right?

Well, for the boys over at ClassicsToday.com, it is the most daunting task, especially when they have to deal with "non-melodic music"—I’d like to talk at length about how stupid that term is, but I’ll save it for another time. Here, George Crumb escapes their non-melodic wrath:

A few years ago I had the great privilege (in cooperation with Becky and David Starobin of Bridge records) of presenting George Crumb with a "Lifetime Achievement Award" at the Cannes Classical Awards, which were held at the MIDEM trade show in France.

That’s a lot of name-dropping. Just get on with it.

After the ceremony there was a dinner for the honorees, and George quickly amassed a small band of young composer/admirers.

Just for the record, Crumb groupies are popularly known as Crumpies.

One of these, anxious to display his avant-garde credentials, asked George who he personally enjoyed listening to, and rather presumptuously suggested a few of his own favorites as politically correct examples...

If they were indeed his favorites, then why would he need to hedge? He wouldn't.

(led off--if memory serves...

David doesn’t quite remember, so keep in mind he could be pulling this out of his ass.

(led off--if memory serves--by the atrociously untalented Salvatore Sciarrino).

And, unnecessarily, Telemann was a fucktard!

















Fig.1. Salvatore Sciarrino
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Synonyms and Antonyms Are for Wussies

Anti-goodbye, everyone. Very reundispleased to see you. Today, we get to hear from Andrew Adler of the Louisville Courier-Journal.

During the late 1970s and early 1980s, [John] Adams was composing in a style that is typically referred to as “minimalism.”

Some have said that scare quotes are for real men only. Sadly, that leaves me out. However, if that’s indeed the case, then Andrew is a real man’s man. He doesn’t even bother to use real words. Why would you when you can just hyphenate whole phrases, instead?

Indeed, [conductor Jorge] Mester used the same language Friday in brief, from-the-stage remarks about “Grand Pianola Music,”

This one doesn’t smell of fermented fish paste, but still. “From-the-stage,” as far as I can tell, is only used in its non-hyphenated form, as a prepositional phrase. Here, “onstage” could have sufficed—a clear, efficient synonym.

...though in such a general sense that those remarks were almost anti-useful.

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WoT

Written by Robert Jordan (real name: James Rigney, Jr.), The Wheel of Time (WoT) is an epic fantasy spanning eleven volumes. It’s been turned into a video game, a role playing game, and the rights have been sold for television and film. Here’s what you need to know about it, via Wiki:

At the dawn of time, a deity known as the Creator forged the universe and the Wheel of Time, which spins the lives of men and women as its threads. The Wheel has seven spokes, each representing an age, and it is rotated by the One Power, which flows from the True Source. The One Power is divided into male and female halves, saidin and saidar, which work in opposition and in unison to drive the Wheel. Those humans who can use this power are known as channelers; the principal organization of such channelers in the books is called the Aes Sedai or 'Servants of All' in the Old Tongue.

Additionally, there are eight (seven?) sub-organizations of the Aes Sedai, called the Ajah. They are divided into different colors with specific purposes. For instance, the Brown Ajah is devoted to the study and collection of knowledge; the Yellow are dedicated to “Healing.”

Anyway...

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Anti-useful isn’t a word; the antonym of useful is useless—this, according to every dictionary and pipe on the intertube-nets. Stupid, huh? Well, not so fast. Further research lead me to a WoT forum, where one member responds to another, while making clear the distinction between useless and anti-useful.

Member 1: The Yellows have a vital major Talent which is utilized very inefficiently, and until recently their research was zero. They are not useless, they are inefficient and thus more useless than they should be.

Member 2: They are useful, but open to criticism on the grounds of efficiency. Not useless, but anti-useful. The worst Healing in the world is still useful.

Huh. So according to Andrew, the word minimalism, in order to describe John Adams' Grand Pianola Music, is useful, but not quite efficient.

Andrew’s vast WoT experience to the rescue! Sort of. (Sigh)

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Also, Grand Pianola Music over at the Hall.
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