Buy More Stuff!

The stock market plunged again on Friday, but the [Florida] orchestra had an answer to the deepening recession: the fun, unabashedly schmaltzy music of Vienna's chief waltz manufacturer [...].

Rats! Oh well, there’s always next year, Mr. President.

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And now for a word from Citigroup, the Ford Motor Company, and the St. Petersburg Times:

Lost most of your savings in the market over the past year or two? No worries, let the irresistible melody of On the Beautiful Blue Danube sweep your cares away.

Ignoring responsibility is always the best remedy.



Table 1. Buy more stuff
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Get Your Priorities Straight, Buster

It’s good to hear from St. Petersburg Times critic John Fleming. I was starting to get worried that he might have been abducted while in Denver during the recent NPAC Convention—I heard he’s a sucker for promises of ice cream. Luckily, that’s not the case. He’s alive and well and back at the keyboard recalling a Denver lecture given by the CEO of Target Resource Group, Rick Lester.

The topic? Surviving a recession.

This ought to be good.

Rick Lester, CEO of Target Resource Group, an arts marketing consultant, had some pithy advice on setting priorities during hard times. These no doubt found resonance among the considerable Tampa Bay delegation, which included folks from the Florida Orchestra, Opera Tampa, Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center and Sarasota Opera:

Ready for the advice?

1) The importance of opening night. "Most first-time subscribers,'' Lester said, "make a decision to renew or not renew based on the first performance they attend.''

Mmmm. Market research. Small sample sizes. Suspect methods.

Okay. But how do we cash in?

2) Focus on blockbusters. "You have to take care of your flagship productions — the Beethoven Nines — in tough times. Put your artistic risks at the end of the season, when you've already got the renewal money.''

So, fuck ‘em when they’re not looking. Perfect! They’ll never see it coming. (Sounds a little like Shawshank Redemption, doesn’t it?) But, first make sure to pocket the money.

Got it. Now who do we fuck over?

3) Market to the affluent. "People who buy expensive seats are always better prospects than those who buy less expensive seats.''

Geez. In tough times, you get to fuck everyone over! You’ll get to extract money from the wealthy and shun the poor. Sound business tactics, if you ask me. Pun intended.
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