I am always a proponent of American music. Not because it is inherently good, but because so much of it is unjustly neglected. Also, I think that some of the 19th century Americans get shorted as being merely derivative of European styles and trends of the time. Which is why I was glad to see a review about a neglected American composer who has recently had a new CD released, specifically: Arthur Foote: A-Fall of Francesca da Rimini, Air and Gavotte (from Serenade); Four Character Pieces after the Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám; Suite in E major. Seattle Symphony, Schwarz (Naxos) Here is a link to the disc in question (Naxos 8.559365) Naxos has long done an admirable job of promoting and producing neglected music from many places, and their American Classics series is particularly of note in this respect. Mr. Cantrell of the Dallas Morning News reviews it for us: American concertgoers – indeed, conductors – are largely unaware of American music before Ives, Gershwin and Copland. Sadly, all-too true. But composers including Horatio Parker, Amy Beach, Charles Martin Loeffler, Charles Tomlinson Griffes and John Alden Carpenter penned music... Yes, and some fantastic and original music to boot! (Beach and Griffes, to me, are the most interesting in the group. That said, I have a lot of work still to do in this area to become more familiar with this music.) ...music that bears comparison with that of late 19th- and early 20th-century Europeans. Oh. Well. Certainly the European influence is not to be ignored, but there are uniquely American things about them too. Right? Most of these Americans were trained at least partly in Europe. This is true as well. Actually, it continued to be true throughout most of the 20th century, as almost anyone who was anyone (to coin a phrase) went and studied with Mme. Boulanger in Paris for a while. But Arthur Foote (1853-1937), a Bostonian most of his life, was entirely homegrown. Foote was unique in this way, and his music was, again, strongly influenced by the European tradition. So the most interesting thing to address, it seems (and is implied), is what was American about his music. Yes? Yes. Or, rather: no. Still, his early tone poem Francesca da Rimini sounds like an attractive amalgam of Mendelssohn, Schumann and Brahms. Jewish, crazy, and never married? I kid; but really, if this is the way we're going to go with this (and it is), how about some words about the not-European things? Anything? Something? I know: how about nothing. The four Rubáiyát pieces suggest more up-to-date influences from Dvorák and Tchaikovsky; the Suite, for strings, could almost pass for Elgar. I like how "almost pass for Elgar" is both sort of a compliment, and sort of condescending. And, more importantly, give no clue whatever to what facets of the music would not, in fact, pass for Elgar. Our only point of reference is European music. Dating from around the turn of the 20th century, these are beautifully crafted and unfailingly appealing pieces. Unfailingly appealing = practically European in every describable way! The Seattle orchestra isn't the most refined, and sonics lack some clarity, but still this is a CD well worth hearing. Fair enough, and the fact that it was reviewed and recommended at all is encouraging and welcome. But can we please carve out a little, tiny niche where American music can be considered on its own merits? I know it's a little three-paragraph review and not a dissertation, but how about a word or two about American music per se?
8/14/09
American Music Does Not Exist
Posted by Sator Arepo at 12:55 PM 6 comments
Labels: American composers, American Music, Arthur Foote, CD Reviews, Scott Cantrell, There Is No American Classical Music
6/24/09
Le bon mot et le mot juste
What is the function of the critic: Part MCMLXXIV; also, Sentence of the Week!
The critic's job in reviewing a concert depends on several factors. An important one, of course, is the program under consideration.
In reviewing new(er) music, the reviewer often describes the music for the reader, since the chances that the music has been encountered before are small. For more well-known works, the performance can be compared to other performances of the same piece, and so forth.
There is, though, a middle ground; less-familiar works by known composers, for instance. In this case, the reviewer will often critique the performance and the work itself somewhat independently.
Here today to illustrate is Scott Cantrell of the Dallas Morning News. The Dallas SO recently held a Latino Festival Concert, the Latin-ness of which was somewhat suspect. It's a good article, with genuine concerns, and I encourage you to read it.
Some of the works on the program were construed (probably correctly) as being showpieces for the featured performers. This is well and good, but I suppose there are limits to Mr. Cantrell's tolerance of fluffy, virtuosic display pieces with little musical substance:
Guarnieri's Dansa brasileira was a cheerfully chugging overture, and Gismonti's two-guitars-and-orchestra Sete Aneis, performed with the Brasil Guitar Duo (João Luiz and Douglas Lora), suggested some influence from minimalism. Neither of these impressed as deathless art, but each was pleasant enough.
This seems to sum it up pretty nicely. But then:
Castelnuovo-Tedesco's Concerto for Two Guitars was pretty inane, with dippy themes elaborated with all the imagination of an undergraduate composition student.
Wow. That is an awesome sentence.
I have just invented a new, meaningless award; I think I shall call it the Sentence of the Week! award.
Today, the inaugural Sentence of the Week! award goes to Scott Cantrell. Not the least of the accomplishments of this sentence is evoking the banality of the music (inane; dippy) combined with an icily clever dismissal of its inventive quality.

Mario Castelnuovo-Tedesco (1895-1968)
Castelnuovo-Tedesco was an Italian composer who was not very good at writing faux-Spanish guitar concerto showpieces. Or, at least, that's what I think I learned this week.
These festival programs attract lots of people who don't ordinarily attend symphony concerts. But the absence of at least brief program notes, even movement markings on the program page, suggests the DSO considers these second-class concerts. That's tacky.
Yes, yes it is. Boo, Dallas Symphony. Boo to you.
Posted by Sator Arepo at 2:19 PM 4 comments
Labels: "Latin" composers, Castelnuovo-Tedesco, Dallas Morning News, Dallas Symphony Orchestra, Latin America, Le bon mot, Scott Cantrell, Sentence of the Week
1/13/09
Going to Concerts for Free Is An Outrage!
Oh, what the hell. Let's check in with Mr. Cantrell! FORT WORTH – If I had paid for a ticket to the Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra concert Friday evening, I would have been really annoyed. Yeah, going to concerts for free sucks. A number of paying customers certainly were grousing at the end of a program that, even counting The Star-Spangled Banner, had lasted all of 50 minutes. God forbid. Even allowing for the FWSO's shorter Friday format – an hour and a half, with no intermission – there was time for all three of the pieces promised for Saturday and Sunday repeats. Um. 2 X 50 minutes is 1 hour and 40 minutes. Math, anyone? But the Friday audience got only the Brahms Third Symphony and Wagner Tannhäuser Overture, in that quirky order, not the Mozart Prague Symphony. I don't understand. What about the Prague? Maybe if we'd been offered a 1/3 discount ... But...you said...you didn't have to pay for a ticket? 1/3 of zero is zero. More or less. What gives?
Posted by Sator Arepo at 11:53 AM 6 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, Scott Cantrell
12/22/08
Oh, Crap. They Killed All The Editors in Dallas, Too
Quickie post, y'all, but this:
When American think about 20th-century British music
Wow. Did Dallas abolish plural nouns? You bastards!
Posted by Sator Arepo at 11:57 AM 1 comments
Labels: All of the Editors are Dead, Dallas Morning News, Scott Cantrell
11/18/08
A Completely Compelling Double Dose, Briefly Bestowed
Two quick hits from Mr Cantrell of the Dallas Morning News, two days apart. We would all like to be so warmly remembered as to merit the memorial recital Stephen Hough played Sunday afternoon. Honoring the late David Grice, a beloved Plano piano teacher, Mr. Hough reminded us just how transcendent an experience music can be. I was just sitting here thinking, "Damn! I wish I could remember how transcendent music can be!". Wait, what? Oh...hyperbole. Right. It is, after all...Chopin... The slow movement of Chopin's B minor Sonata seemed to inhabit a parallel universe, where time stood still amid aching beauties. Time stood still...in a parallel universe...surrounded by gorgeous women in pain. Is this...is this H.P. Lovecraft? (click to enlarge) The cascading accompaniments almost turned to vapor. Yes, yes, Chopin is ethereal. And cascading. The whole Chopin sonata was wonderfully personalized, at times feeling – quite appropriately – made up on the spot. The composer's B major Nocturne (Op. 62, No. 1) seemed a dream caught as it drifted by. And dreamy! Everyone loves Chopin. But wait! There's more!
First, a word about expectations.
What's the very last piece you'd expect to hear on a Dallas Symphony Orchestra concert?
Hmm. The very last? That's a thinker, right there. Let's see...
Ionisation?
Music for 18 Musicians?
Synaphai?
Cobra?
A pretty good guess would be Sir Edward Elgar's The Music Makers, a 40-minute piece for mezzo-soprano, chorus and orchestra set to poetry by Arthur O'Shaughnessy.
(The Music Makers)
(For no reason, here is a picture of Elgar that is fun to look at.)
Aw, man. Curses, foiled again! You got me. But I would have guessed Zorn, Xenakis, Reich, or Varese before anything by Elgar. Silly me! Not that it's not an obscure work of overblown English neo-Romanticism, but...the very last piece?
Two days later, a review of Stephen Hough's concert memorializing David Grice:
Usually modernist music is not compelling. And, arguably, this is Copland's most modernist piece, as he experiments with (*gasp*) serialism!*
(Copland Piano Variations)
This is craggy but compelling music
Dude, you just typed "compelling" like six words ago. Just sayin'.
This is craggy but compelling music, proving that even tough modernism can have a beating human heart.
Um.
Inherent anti-modernism aside (it's craggy and tough, not usually compelling, and inhuman), I think you missed the point of modernism.
The "beating human heart" of "tough modernism" is its casting off traditional modes of expression with the desire to express one's inner...
Ah, crap, I stopped being funny.
And I would've got away with it if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
*Blogger does not think "serialism" is a word.
Posted by Sator Arepo at 11:31 AM 5 comments
Labels: Chopin, Dallas Morning News, Edward Elgar, Scott Cantrell
10/16/08
Karlheinz Does Dallas
OMG! Stockhausen in Dallas? An interesting review: See this review by Scott Cantrell. It was the 1960s again for an hour Sunday night. Six robe-clad figures sat on a circle of pillows in a dim crypt, swaying and chanting arcane sounds. Occasionally the name of a deity – Osiris, Artemis, Wotan – would surface from the oohs and aahs, wah-wahs and luh-luhs. Strands of erotic German poetry wafted on rising and falling slides of pitch. It was...in a crypt? Oh, figuratively, like the way it was the 1960s again. I get it. We lacked only fumes of patchouli and pot smoke. Dude, you live in Dallas. Head on down to the Winedale Tavern on Greenville Avenue. (I know a guy.) It's not far from the theater... Figure 1: Winedale Tavern, Dallas This was, however, a legal affair: a concert presented by Dallas' modern-music group Voices of Change, at the Undermain Theatre in Deep Ellum. And the sound effects, all produced by amplified live singers, were artifacts of a work called Stimmung, by the late German composer Karlheinz Stockhausen. Figure 2: Voices of Change Figure 3: Stockhausen In a performance organized by University of North Texas composition professor Joseph Klein, the singers were sopranos Heidi Dietrich Klein and Tracey Deen, alto Katrina Burggraf-Kledas, tenors Kevin Sutton and Ryan Lungwitz, and bass Tim Johnson. Dr. Klein gave a fast-talking introduction to the work and managed the amplification. Sounds awesome! (Here is a link to an excerpt from Stimmung for you.) Stockhausen, who died last December at age 79, was one of the agents provocateurs of post-World War II music. Stimmung, composed in 1968, was something of a signpost of the avant-garde. All true. The vocal sounds are, you might say, life imitating art, or at least the artifice of electronic music, in which Stockhausen was a pioneer. But the piece is also an example of aleatory music: the performers are given 51 musical gestures, plus the "magic names" (as Stockhausen called them) and poetry, to combine as the spirit moves. "...as the spirit moves."? Is that a word-count filling way of saying "choice"? Either hypnotic or maddening, Why not both? depending on your mindset, the piece lasted one hour. (Other performances have run closer to 70 minutes.) Although it's supposed to remain rooted in the note B-flat and its overtones, understandably it did drift here and there. Understandably! Certainly. Personally, I was glad to experience a work more often cited in music-history books than actually performed. I am very, very happy to read that. Wait...what's that I hear? Is it...is it a "but" coming? But Yesssss. for this listener, its hour-long duration occasioned every stage of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Sounds like ol' Karlheinz has got your number, to me. As Voltaire reportedly said of a late-in-life trip to a house of ill-repute, "Once a philosopher, twice a pervert." I...what?
Posted by Sator Arepo at 12:45 PM 6 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, Karlheinz Stockhausen, Scott Cantrell, voices of change, weed
10/5/08
The First Five Sentences
Uh...
No opera has music more gorgeous – more brilliantly colored, more lusciously textured, more passionately yearning – than Die tote Stadt.
No opera. Has music! More gorgeous.
So why is it so rarely performed?
Good question, being that it’s the most best opera ever, ever. In fact, if Die tote Stadt was a planet, it would be the only planet in its own solar system--that's how more good it is. Its inhabitants wouldn't need to evolve any further, because they already attained genetic perfection. This makes them herbivores, since predation is futile. Also, they laugh at aliens--especially illegal ones.
Well, the title, "The Dead City," may be a little off-putting.
Personally, the title “Salome” is a little more off-putting. There’s something about necrophilia that doesn’t sit well with me.
Anyway. To each his own.
And Erich Wolfgang Korngold's youthful masterpiece needs two lead singers, a soprano and a tenor, who can sing – and sing and sing...
Don’t all operas require singers who are trained to do this?
...and sing and sing – over high-cholesterol orchestrations that make Wagner sound like Mozart.
Uh...
The soprano also has to be visually plausible as a dancer.
...as opposed to olfactorally plausible.
Fin
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[Edit Empiricus] I almost forgot the "necrophilia" tag.
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Posted by Empiricus at 10:53 AM 7 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, Erich Korngold, necrophilia, operas require singers, Richard Strauss, Salome, Scott Cantrell, SF Opera
9/1/08
"A Flower From The Garden Of Life"
Did you know that Thurland Chattaway wrote his song, “ Can’t You Take It Back And Change It For A Boy?” in 1911? Didn’t think so. That must mean you don't know anything about American music.
Intimidated by the likes of Mozart, Beethoven and Brahms, [English-speaking] classical-music establishments and audiences seem to assume that all things good and great come from the European continent.
Seriously, mentioning Thurland Chattaway probably wouldn’t spark too many conversations.
Both Brits and Americans seem almost apologetic for their native musical heritages.
If, however, Thurland is all you think we think we have, then I think you think you’re still in 1911. Then again, I've never heard of Ives or Irving Berlin. Blecht. BLECHT. BLLEECCHTT.
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Posted by Empiricus at 10:21 PM 4 comments
Labels: American inferiority complex?, Dallas Morning News, Old-timey things, Ralph Vaughn Williams, Scott Cantrell
8/21/08
Wolf! Wolf!
As one might surmise, this is sort of a follow-up to my previous post, Goldilocks—I want to drive the point into the ground even further and, since I’m in the driver’s seat, you’ll just have to sit back and take it.
If you aren’t privy to the original Goldilocks, I suggest you take a gander. But if you’re lazy like me, here’s the synopsis: I try to equate bloated language with crying wolf. It sounds fantastic but loses its effectiveness over time. It’s hyperbole, exaggeration, not real. So, I wonder whether or not this disproportionate language might be the culprit behind the negative perception of classical music. I suggest that it’s really no one’s fault, it’s the language we inherited. And no one is immune: composers, critics, musicologists, theorists, laymen, performers, superheroes, etc. I also give you three kaleidoscopic images and ask you to imagine them joyfully weaving in and out of each other. Great fun.
So here we are a couple of days later and the first thing I randomly come across—just making the daily rounds—is this nice article by Scott Cantrell.
FWSO preps for Mahler symphonies
Sweet. Perfect for demonstrating my point. I think that anything Mahler is already so bloated that we might want to start spelling his name with a few extra letters (Mawhlerr?). Besides, y’all know that everything in Texas is bigger. And bigger is, incontrovertibly, better!
The instrumental forces required for the Second Symphony are truly heroic...
I read that Odysseus once employed seventy lyres just to take a shit. That’s one heroic shit, folks! But tales of truly heroic instrumentations don’t stop there. Achilles wasn’t actually killed by an arrow. Instead, he accidentally choked on four bone flutes. Neil Armstrong refused to leave Earth’s atmosphere without his sixteen euphoniums. The beaches at Normandy were stormed by 150,000 soldiers armed with nothing but oboes and bassoons. And Ethan Allen and Benedict Arnold at Ticonderoga? They lulled the British to sleep by playing 21,000 autoharps. Mawhlerr? Pffft. He used some extra brass and winds for his symphonies.
And this is the first picture that comes up when I Google Image “truly heroic.”
Posted by Empiricus at 10:02 AM 4 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra, Goldilocks, Gustav mahler, Odysseus, Scott Cantrell, The Boy Who Cried Wolf
8/18/08
Really?
Well, it has been a spell since we checked in with Scott Cantrell of the Dallas Morning News. In a thoughtful article utilizing actual timings, he puts forth a sort of analysis of speeds of performances of the various movements of Mahler's Fifth Symphony. The following is only an excerpt, the rest is here.
For the most part, Mr. van Zweden's pacing is above reproach.
Well hedged. Let's go ahead and assume we're going to reproach it, then.
But I'm not entirely convinced by tempos in the first and forth movements.
Tempos? Tempi? Tempe? Stadiums? Stadia? Latin? English? Oh, who cares.
But two of the four movements, I guess, counts as "the most part". (Obviously the tempi change inter-movement in Mahler, and I am just...well, you know.)
The first is marked "Funeral March: With measured step. Strict. Like a cortege." Mr. van Zweeden, like Leonard Bernstein in his 1963 New York Philharmonic recording, interprets the opening section at between 58 and 60 beats per minute-- around the speed of a clock's second hand.
You...are telling me...that 60 bpm... is "around" the speed of a clock's second hand?
"Around"?
Really?
I...you...you don't have to be a conductor, or a musician, or a fifth grader, to know that...there are 60 seconds in a minute.
In other breaking news from Dallas: Rain falls from the sky!
Oh, sorry, one last thing.
But, interestingly, there's a 1905 piano-roll [sic?] recording of Mahler himself [redundant--Ed.] playing the movement--yes, on the piano--and he starts at a considerably brisker 72 beats per minute.
A piano-roll [sic?]...played on...the piano? No freaking way! Hey, did you know that a minute has 60 seconds?
Posted by Sator Arepo at 3:38 PM 4 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, Mahlers Fifth, Scott Cantrell, Tempi
6/16/08
Texas-Sized Decision
Y’all decide. Is Scott Cantrell calling Arthur Kampela’s Nosturnos a piece of shit, with all kinds of undigested thingies in it? Or is he calling Arthur Kampela’s Nosturnos a breakfast inside a dog that’s been eaten?
Now, here’s your context:
A 1993/2003 Nosturnos by the Brazilian-American composer Arthur Kampela made quite a show of virtuoso fireworks, including glissandos and two-arm clusters. But it was also an undigested dog's breakfast of Philip Glass, Barber, Scriabin, Messiaen and goodness knows what else.
And some research:
Well, no; no research. There’s not much to look at on the intertubes. A Google search for “undigested dog’s breakfast” (with quotation marks) yielded two results. The first was a link to Scott’s article. The second, to this, another music review (2005), which used the phrase in a very similar way. (And I suppose once this post is published, this will be the third.)
On the other hand, a Google search without quotation marks lead me to this picture on this site (disturbing; may not be kid safe):
And this, from the Philippines:
So I’ll ask again: which is it? A piece of shit with corn or a breakfast inside an eaten dog?
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And Scott, just a thought, but a euphemism for “shitty hodgepodge” might be more effective if it is a little...subtler and less awkwardly phrased. Besides, it would have been much more hip to use “brunch,” instead of “breakfast.” Oooo! How about, “It was also the late-evening dregs of an expired brunch comprised of Glass...?” I like that one—you can use it if you want.
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Also, you should check out Arthur Kampela’s music. It’s pretty cool! It’s not shit with undigested thingies in it.
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Posted by Empiricus at 2:06 PM 5 comments
Labels: Arthur Kampela, Brunch, Dallas Morning News, Failed Food Metaphors, Jenny Lin, Scott Cantrell, Undigested Dog's Breakfast
5/17/08
Help the Detritus, Save the Queen
Give this CD review a gander:
Paul Lewis’ Beethoven piano sonatas lovely, but a bit too British
Today’s question for the Detritusites: what is it exactly that Cantrell says about British comportment?
First, Lewis is described as able, thoughtful, eager, lovely and elegant. Then, somehow, his inner-Brit gets in the way. Cantrell wants more wit, more danger and more ecstasy, just like he received from Schiff’s recording.
And Mr. Lewis misses the songlike qualities of the variation themes in Op. 109 and 111; the former is too foursquare, the latter too slow.
Foursquare: unless Cantrell is referring to a church, waterproof jackets, rum, an American architectural style, an archaic definition or a video production company in San Diego, he’s saying that the performance of Op. 109 was childish or simplistic, like the game. Sure, he could’ve meant “square,” as in "conventional or boring." But "foursquare" is an archaic English definition of the geometric figure; it's not related to the informal shortened form.
Now, dear Detritusites, I'll ask again: what about the British demeanor that makes for an unsatisfactory Beethoven performance?
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Posted by Empiricus at 12:08 PM 3 comments
Labels: anglophobia?, Beethoven, Dallas Morning News, Paul Lewis, Scott Cantrell
4/27/08
Curiouser and Curiouser
From the
Houston Grand Opera’s ‘Billy Budd’ sails straight
Um. What? Because, you see, Benjamin Britten…not to be indelicate, but…
I understand that critics don’t always get to title their articles. So perhaps the editor, not the critic is culpable here. But I can’t decide if this is
-funny (intentional) or
-rude (some conservative
-ironic (completely oblivious about Britten) or
-in poor taste (some combination of the above). Because:
…there's more than a hint of homoeroticism…
Yeah, yeah there is. And Britten was very famously gay. So: What’s the deal with:
Houston Grand Opera’s ‘Billy Budd’ sails straight
???
Posted by Sator Arepo at 4:02 PM 4 comments
Labels: Billy Budd, Britten, Curiouser, Dallas Morning News, Houston Grand Opera, Potential Homophobia, Scott Cantrell
4/19/08
The Ned Flanders of Music Criticism
Otherwise known as Scott Cantrell, former president of MCANA, the Music Critics’ Association of North America. About Philip Glass, he says:
For four decades, his diddle-diddles and doodley-doodlies have transported some and maddened others.
That’s just F-ing fiddley-diddly dumb.
But here’s the kicker—one I didn’t expect. The article is not about a concert or a recording; it’s about a lecture where Glass was heard saying this:
"My musical mother was Nadia Boulanger, my musical father was Ravi Shankar. I was their child, by immaculate conception."
Jesus Christ!
By the late 1960s, the musical scene was ready for something radically different from abstract atonality. Composing a score for a Samuel Beckett play opened Mr. Glass' ears to the possibility of music based on hypnotic repetitions. "It was," [Glass] said, "the shell of the egg cracking."
Weird, I thought his first statement was hyperbole. But...
no. It wasn’t.
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Posted by Empiricus at 11:57 AM 2 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, diddle-diddle minimalism, MCANA, Nadia Boulanger, Ned Flanders, Philip Glass, Ravi Shankar, Samuel Beckett, Scott Cantrell
4/9/08
Fact-Checking Is Hard
Quickie post! It wasn't much publicized, so there wasn't much of a crowd for the University of Texas Symphony Orchestra concert Wednesday evening at the Morton H. Meyerson Symphony Center. Aw. I'm touched you attended! UT's Butler School of Music must be one of the country's biggest.
From Scott Cantrell of the Dallas Morning News:
Strings rule at University of Texas Performance
In just under five minutes, I uncovered the following facts:
The University of Texas' (newly re-named) Butler School of Music has about 700 students.
The famed Juilliard School has about 800 students.
The New England Conservatory of Music (alma mater!) has about 750 students.
The University of Michigan's School of Music has 1050 students.
Indiana University's Jacob's School of Music and The University of North Texas' School of Music compete yearly for the title of "largest music school", each enrolling about 1600 students yearly.
The University of Texas is not, in fact, one of the country's biggest. In fact, and I stress again the word fact, it is commensurate in size with the two top conservatories in the United States.
Just sayin'. Lazy journalists, sheesh.
Posted by Sator Arepo at 2:15 PM 3 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, FactChecking, Scott Cantrell, So Lazy, University of Texas
3/10/08
Speechless.
From the Dallas Morning News, this caught my attention. First, because Schütz, while awesome is seldom performed. Lent or whatever, I guess. But then the awesomeness that is Scott Cantrell’s prose...no verb suffices.
All right, I've gone and done it, done my Lenten penance, mortified my flesh and, in one brief hour, washed away my sins.
You…you’ve…been absolved? What? The hour was brief?
It happened during Saturday night's performance of Heinrich Schütz' Passion According to St. Matthew.
Schütz washed away your sins? Good, I guess… So, you liked it? You didn’t like it?
After this hour of musical water-boarding, administered by the Dallas Bach Society, the fires of hell hold no terrors.
Holy fuck!
“Musical water-boarding”?
…
You’ve just compared doing your job, which is, for some reason I cannot comprehend, sitting and listening to music (and later writing dubiously about it), to being tortured. Wow.
Now, I’m as non-PC as the next guy. If you had written this a decade ago, it might have passed as mere hyperbole.
However, given the current topical nature of torture, and waterboarding in particular, that is fucking rude as hell. Yesterday, YESTERDAY, our president vetoed a bill making this particular form of torture illegal.
This is in such incredibly poor fucking taste that I am totally at a loss.
Congratulations, Cantrell. You’ve rendered me speechless.
Posted by Sator Arepo at 1:24 PM 2 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, Lent, Schutz, Scott Cantrell, Torture
3/6/08
This Guy was the President of the Music Critics' Association of North America
And this is the most patronizing description of music I’ve ever encountered.
....diddle-diddle minimalism...
Let’s just file that under F, for fucking-fiddly-diddly-dumb.
Here’s the author and his article. Here's some diddle-diddles.
Have a nice day.
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Posted by Empiricus at 4:46 PM 2 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, diddle-diddle minimalism, John Adams, minimalism, Scott Cantrell
2/24/08
Merdle and Haggard
Scene I
(Merdle at the breakfast table; enter Haggard)
Merdle: Good morning sleepy face! How’d sleep last night?
Haggard: (yawn, wipes crusties from eyes) Fantastic. I love sleeping in on Saturdays.
M: What can I getcha for breakfast? Some coffee?
H: Sounds good. Can I have some eggs, too?
M: How’d you like ‘em?
H: Sunny-side up, please. Thanks sweetheart. Oh! And I see you already got the paper.
M: Yeah. I was thinking we could do something this afternoon.
H: Yeah, what? (yawn)
M: We haven’t been to the movies in a while.
H: Oh! You know what else we haven’t done in a while? Go see the symphony.
M: Perfect. That sounds cool. We haven’t seen them in almost a year. See if there are any good concerts today; I haven’t gotten that far in the entertainment section. Would you like sausage with your eggs?
H: Do we have bacon?
M: I think so. Yes. We do.
H: I’d like the bacon, please. Ooh. Here’s a concert: “Both the Dallas and Fort Worth symphony orchestras are in show and play mode this weekend. The DSO is performing Debussy’s La Mer with projected J.W.M. Turner paintings and watercolors.” That sounds neat.
M: Totally. That’s one of my favorites. I tried to play a Debussy disc the other day at work, but it annoyed the guy in the cubicle next to me, so I put on some Kenny Chesney for him, instead. What a dork. He’s sort of religious about Chesney—he’s been to like all his concerts and stuff. Here’s your coffee.
H: Thanks.
W: What else?
H: Umm... “The FWSO is projecting Peruvian images with two works connected to music director Miguel Harth-Bedoya’s homeland.”
W: Oh, weird. So the review is about two concerts?
H: I guess so. Let’s see. “Inspired by cellist Yo-Yo Ma’s Silk Road Project, presenting contemporary music from the old Asian trading route...” Well that’s a weird thing to say. Contemporary music from an old trading route.
W: That doesn’t make any sense. Is the salt over by you?
H: No. “Mr. Harth-Bedoya has his own Caminos del Inca (Inca trail) project. This week’s offerings include Mr. Harth-Bedoya’s arrangements of three 18th-century Peruvian dances and a recent work by the FWSO’s composer-in-residence Gabriela Lena Frank (American-born, but of mixed Peruvian, Chinese and Lithuanian heritage).”
W: Who wrote this article? I bet it’s Cantrell. He, for some odd reason, always highlights someone’s race, like it’s a big deal for him.
H: Yup. That’s weird.
W: Thought so.
H: Do you have any clue what Peruvian dances sound like?
W: That’s a strange question, too. Do you mind if I make my breakfast first? Just thought I’d give you a warm plate, while mine cools off.
H: That’s thoughtful, honey. Thanks. Where was I? Oh. “Sparingly scored for chamber orchestra, with toe-tapping drummings and rattlings, the dances were drawn from a collection by an 18th-century Peruvian bishop, Baltazar Martínez y Compañón.”
W: Does that answer your question? Toe-tapping drummings and rattlings.
H: No. It says here that “Accompanying images were the bishop’s own illustrations of attires, from European to fantastic native, and activities of his day.”
W: European attire is surely not Peruvian attire. What was the name of the conductor’s project?
H: Inca Trail.
W: That’s odd. Either way, it sounds like an eyesore, unless the bishop was like Rembrandt or something.
H: Ha! No kidding. Oh man! “Both music and illustrations were delightful.” Thanks Cantrell! If the music was as delightful as the pictures he described, I think the orchestra is doomed.
W: Yeah. He sure doesn’t paint a clear picture. Does He? Here. I forgot the milk for your coffee.
H: That’s okay, honey. It’s fine without it. Thanks, though. Oh here’s a bit about the composer-in-residence’s piece. “Dr. Frank’s Illapa is a 12-minute tone poem inspired by the eponymous, flute playing weather god of Andean mythology.”
W: What’s “eponymous” mean?
H: I don’t know.
W: That’s kind of pedantic, don’t you think?
H: Well, maybe we’re the idiots. It's certainly better than "orchidaceous," anyway.
W: No. I mean the “Dr.” part. Calling yourself a doctor can be misleading if you’re not a medical doctor. Besides, it’s like showing off, or something. I especially hate it when artists do that. What do you think?
H: I think I’m getting hungry.
W: Okay. Okay. I just finished making my eggs. I’m getting to yours now.
H: Just kidding, sweety. Take your time. “Soloist Jessica Warren played two more or less modern orchestral flutes...” How can flutes be more or less modern? This kind of writing is starting to bug me.
W: Well if you ever got your head out of the comics, you’d be used to it by now.
H: Touché. Where... oh. She “played two more or less modern orchestral flutes in the piece and two traditional Peruvian examples, one with a seductively hollow and husky sound.” Sounds like Cantrell has a thing for the larger ladies.
W: Ha!
H: “An introductory soliloquy flows, jerks and oozes, with occasional overblowings.”
W: Sheesh.
H: “Clacks of claves are echoed by string pluckings. Slithering violin tremolos...”
W: I think he means “violin repeaties.”
H: See? This what I thought you meant by “pedantic.” He uses words like “eponymous,” then, for us lowly travel agents and software engineers, he switches to... what was it? ...drummings and rattlings, and pluckings and overblowings.
W: I see your point. Though, "overblowings" isn't too bad. Would you like Tabasco for your eggs?
H: Cholula if we got it. Well how about "clacks," then? That's no better. (reads on) Blah, blah, blah. “Arresting and engaging, the piece got a wholly persuasive performance. For an encore, Ms. Warren and the orchestra played the third movement of Alberto Ginastera’s Impressiones de la Pluna.”
W: Enh.
H: "Making Rimsky-Korsakov’s Schehezade sound fresh is no small challenge. But Mr. Harth-Bedoya and his charges did just that, in a performance of considerable flair. Wind solos might have had a little more personality, but concertmaster Michael Shih spun out the violin ruminations in threads of aural gold.”
W: Christ! That’s a metaphor and a half. Here’s your eggs and bacon.
H: Thanks, babe. Here’s the paper. (eats)
W: “The orchestra’s violins played with silken unanimity, and, from loud to soft, the brasses made glorious sounds.” That’s the end.
H: Oh really? I thought it continued to go on about the Dallas Symphony on the next page. That’s it? I guess the review was only about the Fort Worth Symphony. Well that sucks. That’s like an hour-long drive from Dallas.
W: More like an hour and a half.
H: Oh well, we'd never make it in time, anyways. Wait a minute. Why was this article in the Dallas Morning Star when the concert is in Fort Worth? I mean, you really have to want to go, in order to make it to a 2PM concert one and a half hours away after sleeping in till 10:30. Either that or you have to have a teleporter.
W: Funny man. See what you miss when you only read the sports and comics? Scott Cantrell. You know he was the President of the Music Critics Association of North America for a number of years?
H: Wow. (eats more) Well, Cantrell didn’t make it sound too interesting anyway.
W: I know. I would still like to see the Debussy, though.
H: That’s in Dallas, right?
W: Yeah.
H: Okay then. (eats) Mmm. There’s no comparison between Tabasco and Cholula.
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Posted by Empiricus at 2:42 PM 2 comments
Labels: Dallas Morning News, Debussy, Gabriela Lena Frank, Ginastera, Haggard, Kenny Chesney, Merdle, Miguel Harth-Bedoya, Rimsky-Korsakov, Scott Cantrell
2/15/08
A Texas-sized Non Sequitur
I forgot to wish you all a happy Valentine’s Day, even the one gay reader. In order to make it up to you, I’m bringing you this little flower, of sorts.
Remember the former president of the Music Critic’s Association of North America, Scott Cantrell? Well, he went to the Valentine’s Day (night) concert presented by the Dallas Symphony Orchestra and wrote a review.
Valentine’s Day turned the Dallas Symphony Orchestra into a popular date destination Thursday evening.
Awww. How cute.
Smartly dressed couples swelled the audience,
Love was in the air.
and even a young male pair strode hand-in-hand through the Morton H. Symphony Center lobby. (It’s just a modern time)
“I guess we’ll chock that circus act up to the times are a-changin,” Scott thought to himself, after witnessing such an eye-catching and disturbing display of affection.
I’m glad he explained it; I might’ve gotten the wrong impression, or something. Thanks, Scott.
Happy belated Valentine’s Day!
Posted by Empiricus at 4:38 PM 4 comments
Labels: b.s. generator, Dallas Symphony Orchestra, gay, lenny, non sequitur, President, Scott Cantrell, valentine, valentine's day
2/9/08
Hail to the Chief
This lovely bit of prose comes from the former President of the Music Critics Association of North America, 1993-1997.
There’s a tinkly passage for string harmonics and piano diddles, then a jagged dance, and later big oozy slides up and down the strings' fingerboards.
Wow. Former President. Hmm. That’s like when Joseph II said that Mozart used too many notes.
That quip came to mind Friday evening during the world premiere of Robert Xavier Rodriguez’s new piano trio.
No kidding.
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Posted by Empiricus at 11:47 AM 2 comments
Labels: big oozy slides, Joseph II, Mozart, piano diddles, Robert Xavier Rodriguez, Scott Cantrell




