Midgette's Wang: A Freaky 'Favorite'

It’s true that Yuja Wang made an appearance at the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, but this isn’t about that. This is about something else. In fact, this is about this:

It was amusing, or bemusing, that the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra's most recent program (heard Friday night) was part of the orchestra's series called "Favorites," an attempt to label some greatest hits for the benefit of new concertgoers.

Concert programmer: “In my attempt to figure out how we can make more money, I’ve come up with several ideas. Let’s pander to the lowest common denominator. Let’s turn our concert hall into a dead museum. Let’s lease advertising space and rename ourselves the ‘Wal-Mart Symphony Orchestra.’ How’s that sound?”

Board members (in unison): “Huzzah!”

What a joke, right?

The piece that earned it this designation was Berlioz's "Symphonie Fantastique" -- a greatest hit, true enough.

I know. It’s like the most famousest piece ever, ever.

But it is also a comment on what the orchestral repertory has become that a piece this weird and warty,

Well... back in 1830. Yes. It was weird and warty.

so category-defying,

In 1830. Today, we call it a tone-poem or a programmatic symphony.

revolutionary

Sure, in 1830.

and altogether uncomfortable

But it’s the most famousest piece ever, ever. How can it be uncomfortable if it’s so familiar?

But it is also a comment on what the orchestral repertory has become that a piece this weird and warty, so category-defying, revolutionary and altogether uncomfortable [...], should be presented under a rubric that seems to connote tame respectability.

[It. mine] The first version of the piece is 178 years-old! It is the most famousest piece. Ever. Ever! How can you say that Berlioz is not representative of the canon after nearly two centuries of fame-having-ness? How can you think that it’s weird, even today?

...

Hello? Anne? Are you still there?

The other two works on the program certainly fit nobody's definition of "favorites": Prokofiev's First Piano Concerto, a piece that's young, brash and short, and...

Whoa. Stop right there.

Let me get this right. So you’re saying that the Prokofiev is young?

When was this review written again? (checks date) April 28, 2008. I was right. It was written today.

And the Prokofiev Concerto was written when? 1910? And it’s young? Huh...?

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Oh. I get it. Some people or critics have selective amnesia. They block out anything that’s younger than Elliott Carter. There’s a black void where musical modernism used to be. So, in that light, the Symphonie Fantastique is only roughly 80 years-old and the Prokofiev is a spring chickadee.
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The Swed Treatment: A Mad Lib

On the bright side, this paints a vivid picture. Only, it’s of a sleezy motel somewhere on the outskirts of Las Vegas.

Rearrange the extracted Mark Swed modifiers into their proper place, if any.

Avid
Dripping-with-color
Drug-induced
Fabulous
Full
Highly charged
In-your-face
Multichannel
Technicolor
Wide screen

After intermission, Berlioz got the _______, _______, _______ Dudamel treatment—a(n) _______, _______ “Symphony Fantastique.” Berlioz portrays _______ dreams and nightmares. Dudamel added _______, _______ and _______ sound in a(n) _______ performance that underscored absolutely everything he could possibly underscore.

Here’s the answer.

Also, apparently, Gustavo Dudamel drips color. Gross.