A Stunning Bit of Pandering (and Originality!)

One of our favorites checks in with a report from Houston. It turns out that the Houston Symphony is having a festival! Surely the subject(s) will be original, fresh, and innovative. Right?

Thankfully, the Houston Symphony didn't opt to present just another Beethoven festival.

Oh. Oh. Okay. Wait, what?

Mr. Ward goes on for a while. Here is my favorite excerpt.

In between, in various parts of Jones Hall, will be short piano recitals, panels, a rehearsal-like exploration of the first movement of the Fifth Symphony (with its famous motto theme, da-da-da DUM),

Did you really just type that? Because if I ever typed that I’d lose all self-respect. And possibly do bodily harm to myself. Jesus.

and an evening concert including the delightful but slightly trashy Choral Fantasy with pianist Orion Weiss and the Houston Symphony Chorus.

Beethoven’s Choral Fantasy is…slightly trashy? She’s a nice girl, sure, but some weekends she dresses slutty? What the fuck?!

Read the rest at your own peril. I'm off to commit seppuku.