Metaphor Hit by Pitch, Charges Mound

Baseball season is here again and it comes of no surprise that baseball metaphors are flying off the bats. And even the pianists seem to have a better shot of going all the way than the Giants.

Pianist hits home run with Mendelssohn

This one comes from the San Jose Mercury News and author Georgia Rowe, presumably a Giants or A’s fan. Now, I’m all for baseball metaphors, in general. Home runs are part of our collective American lexicon. So it saddens me when the metaphor becomes awkwardly stretched, to say the least.

Everybody loves a great pinch hitter, and [pianist Yuja Wang] was an excellent example of an artist stepping up to fill in on short notice...

I’m thinking Kirk Gibson, hobbling ‘round the bases, fist pumping, sleazy moustache (I’m still mad about that one). The problem here is, one, the assertion "everyone loves a great pinch hitter" is thorny. With the exception of one lousy, lucky Kirk Gibson at bat, I can’t think of another “great” pinch hit or hitter. (Any suggestions?) At any rate, there are simply no “great” pinch hitters for anyone to love. If they were great, they’d be playing everyday, not coming to bat in substitution for a pitcher in the latter innings.

Two, because of the improbability of there actually being great pinch hitters, I assume that Kirk Gibson was the inspiration for this sloppy metaphor, in which case, he was a Dodger(s), a hated rival of the Giants and victors over the A’s in ‘88. So why, oh why, would a Giants or A’s fan construct this metaphor around a glorious Dodgers World Series moment, if only to dump on this season’s futility (the Giants will stink with the best of them, the A’s are question marks), thereby dumping on Yuja Wang? Unless...

Unless Georia Rowe is a Dodgers fan, celebrating both Kirk and Yuja! Oh my!

Watch out Bay Area baseball fans! Georgia Rowe is the enemy.