Review: Christmas Concert Awesomeness

I love Christmas!

figure Christmas spirit: "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

And, oh boy, do I love the symphony Christmas concert! It just fills me with the Christmas spirit.

I only wish that I could have been at all of these concerts!

So in the name of the Christmas spirit of generosity, there was so much to enjoy that I couldn't share just one review.

Review: Holly Jolly Christmas Spectacular Symphony Jubilation Mash-up

An uncommonly well-danced production of "The Nutcracker" delighted a Saturday afternoon audience at the Midland Center for the Arts Auditorium.


"The symphony is pleased to once again be able to present 'The Nutcracker' with live orchestra," Great Falls Symphony Executive Director Carolyn Valacich said. "Tchaikovsky's great score deserves no less!"

No less indeed. Frankly, I think more symphony concerts should feature the live orchestra.

But the singalong is coming soon, right?

The program’s popularity can be explained in just two words: Beethoven’s Ninth.

It is Christmas, who wants shit we've never heard before anyways?

Plus, that piece is long. A little too long if you know what I mean -- I'm pretty sure only socialist like music that long. Plus, I want to sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," possibly the greatest song on the subject figgy pudding ever written.

The program started with Mozart’s Symphony No. 40 in G minor, a four-part work featuring themes that would be familiar to many listeners.

Whoa! Slow down, Poindexter. I realize that I'll be forced to sit through all these "old" pieces...but I don't need to read about them too. Let's just get onto the singalong already!

Other than the “Hallelujah,” about 100 musicians performed at any given time, a chamber-sized ensemble entirely appropriate for the Baroque piece and the size of the church sanctuary.

100 = chamber sized? But...

"Hallelujah"?! That's that one about Jebus, right? I think know the words to that one...

HAL - LE - LU - JAH!

Richardson framed the symphony as Mozart’s look...

HAL - LE - LU - JAH!

...ahead to what the future of classical music could be, and the orchestra...


...brought that vision to life...

HAL LE eh eh LU JAH!

...brought that vision to life by milking every nuance of the piece in its performance.

Whoa, I wasn't paying attention. Richardson did what now? Milked the symphony?

Understanding what they were singing about was simple. All you had to do was read the English translation of the German text...

Can you dumb it down a shade?

Next came the jazzy “Hot Chocolate” from the movie “The Polar Express.” On film and in person, it’s one of those holiday songs that uses schmaltz in a way that could be considered cheesy if it wasn’t so fun and endearing.

"Hot Chocolate"? Wasn't that the sex mini-game in Grand Theft Auto? That's not cheesy, that's just awesome.

Maybe this concert is going to feature something even better than the singalong.

Musicians and singers changed musical genres at the drop of a hat.


After that, the lights came up, the Yampa Valley Singers came on stage, more youth musicians set up their stands and the audience joined for a Christmas singalong.

Yeah! Finally, the singalong!


figure Christmas singing: "It's Christmas Eve. It's-it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we-we-we smile a little easier, we-w-w-we-we-we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be."

While I did pay my compliments as an appreciative stranger, it seemed inappropriate to ask the name of the woman sitting in the pew behind me at Saturday's annual Holiday Pops concert by the Lubbock Symphony Orchestra....

Another gentleman in attendance at the church was right on the money, though, when he told her that, in this case, she should be singing with the choir, not with the audience.


Handel would have been proud of the community feel of the performance.

That was so much fun. Yeah!

And, oh...
figure more Christmas spirit: "The bitch hit me with a toaster."


Red -- from the Midland Daily News
Gray -- Great Falls Tribune
Green -- from the San Diego News Network:
Purplely-pink like color -- Steamboat Today
Blue -- San Antonio Express News
Brown -- Lubbock Online


Sator Arepo said...


Wait wait wait.


*head explodes*

AnthonyS said...

Xmas Metareview! How nice.

Also: "Danny fuckin' Kaye" is my favorite phrase in all of language.

Handel would have been proud of the community feel of the performance.


Also: Why are the musicians in the orchestra dropping their hats? Why are they wearing hats? Are they, like, Christmas hats? Santa hats or St. Lucia-like candley-wreath things? When a hat is dropped, why do they change styles? Why are hats the arbiters of musical style? Commies!