Christmas Detritus

Ugh. Sorry for this, but it cannot go without comment.

Make a Joyful Noise

This is not...strictly...classical. But I cannot let it pass.

You can learn a lot about people from their Christmas music collections.

Christ. This is a tired, tired postmodern meme.

You can learn a lot about people by the car they drive!

Know what? I got my car from my parents because it was...free. I suppose my 1994 Dodge Caravan totally represents me. Because it is random. It could be anything that my parents happened to have owned. It tells you...nothing.

I had a professor that said that your ringtone on your cellphone tells a lot about you.

I have a realtor friend that opines that your shoes are the biggest tell about who you are.

I like to wear socks and Birkenstocks. Or do I?

Your aunt and her Celine Dion. Your grandpa and his Bing Crosby. Your brother and his hipster-lounge remixes. Your nephew and his punk rock. Your uncle and his Barbra Streisand. Your mom and her Three Tenors.

This is all crap. Stereotypes are lazy. Lazy, lazy writing. Sorry, dude. Ain't buying it.

The music we listen to at Christmas is a reflection of our childhoods, our traditions, our lives, our histories and our music taste in general.

So... to sum up, our taste in music reflects our...taste in music?

Player, please.

I got your xmas music right here.


Murderface said...


Murderface said...

Also, your choice in Xmas music indicates that you are a Bad Person.

Sator Arepo said...

Please don't capitalize xmas; it encourages the xians.

Anonymous said...

I got your stereotypes right here:

"Your aunt and her Celine Dion."
...are going through a mid-life crisis together.

"Your grandpa and his Bing Crosby."
...looks forward everyday to the ballgame, the Lawrence Welk Show and a BM.

"Your brother and his hipster-lounge remixes."
...dresses well and gets along well with your uncle.

"Your nephew and his punk rock."
..his parents are two years too late on that drug talk.

"Your uncle and his Barbra Streisand."
...has a date for gender reassignment.

"Your mom and her Three Tenors."
...when you were young, did the mailman hang around a suspicious amount of time?

Funny write up, but one thing I don't understand, S.A.-- what's postmodern about understanding people through the music they listen to... after all, Cramps for Christemasse says a lot about you, doesn't it!

Sator Arepo said...


The point is that using any random metric to judge people is plain stupid.

Why is the xmas music I listen to (or don't) germane to who I am, my shoes, my underwear, my wife, or fucking anything?

It's just lazy-ass journalism.

The Cramps (who were awesome) were just a device to illustrate a point, if a shallow one, but I hope not.

Can't sleep.


Anonymous said...

Hey SA, get some sleep! Semester's almost over.

Strini said...

Here's how a story like this can happen: You have been assigned pro-forma seasonal story. It is by nature a boring story. Despite banging your head against the desk a dozen or so times, no redeeming ideas present themselves. You have a deadline. You have space to fill. So you throw down a bunch of cliched crap and hope no one notices.

Been there done that. Not very often over 26 years, but it has happened. I still cringe over that Charlotte Church advance I had to write, back when CC was busily transforming herself from waif-like angel to pudgy little mall rat.

(D'Oh! NOW the real story occurs to me!)


Sator Arepo said...


Like I said, we're not entirely unsympathetic. Nor are we paid reviewers, and your viewpoint is helpful.

I'd probably stab myself in the eye if I had to write a (favorable) Charlotte Church article.