Apt Alliteration's Artful Aid: It's Almost Summer

The quote goes, “Who often, but without success, have prayed for apt Alliteration’s artful aid.” (Charles Churchill)

Well, it surely isn’t the clever journalist and critic Joshua Kosman, with:

Tuesday was such a beautiful night for Beethoven, Lang Lang decided to play two.

Congrats! Sort of a sonata thing going on in there, with “Lang Lang” as the development. I especially liked the dental Ds and the plosives.

Whoa, it’s slow out there.


Sator Arepo said...

Oh, I get it. "Lang Lang"..."two".

[watches tumbleweeds. A morning dove coos gently.]

Empiricus said...

Or "beautiful night for Beethoven."

Or "Tuesday...decided to play two."

Or, yes, "Lang Lang."

I just thought it was clever.

Or "Whatever, I do what I want."

Sator Arepo said...

I was trying to be intentionally obtuse. I guess it worked!

[looking at traffic, mesmerized...fish tanks are likewise fascinating...]

Joshua Kosman said...

Thanks for the shout-out, fellas, but you're both wrong. The intended allusion was to Mr. Cub, the great Ernie Banks, and his trademark catchphrase about a doubleheader: "It's a beautiful day for a ball game — let's play two!"

I guess the phrase got mangled a little beyond recognition in the transition from hortatory first-person plural to past-tense indicative third-person singular. Sigh. Well, they can't all be winners. Next time I'll try to have something for you from Paradise Lost or the diaries of Count Zinzendorf.

Murderface said...

Oooohhhh...nicely done, Kosman!

Announcer: It looks like we're going to have to go to the judges for a ruling on this one.

[Pause, hushed muttering, then the head judge gravely shakes his head. Mixed groans, laughter and cheers erupt from the crowd.]

Announcer: Yes! I'm sorry SA and Empiricus, but that does in fact qualify as a burn, and Kosman is trying to get a rally started here today!

Man, I love this blog.

Sator Arepo said...


I am sure we both totally got the Ernie Banks reference, we're both baseball-heads. I can only speak for myself, but E is arguably more into it than I.

In fact, I saw an article on Deadspin a few weeks ago where on the new Banks statue outside Wrigley that motto was inscribed, but they forgot the apostrophe. Oops! It was added the next day.

And we did *like* the sentence, btw.

Joshua Kosman said...

No, I got it that you liked it — thanks again. And glad that the Banksheit came through.

On another point: As much as I like praise, and as loath as I am to contradict anyone with a homicidal visage, I just want to make clear that my earlier comment was not meant as any kind of burn. More of a mea culpa, really — just, y'know, concerned that the allusion hadn't really worked as well as I'd hoped.

Murderface said...

I didn't actually figure it was a burn, but thought it'd be funny to goose the DR boys on it. It's all in good fun here (at least where your reviews have been concerned, so far), which is why I like this blog so much.

The last line of your original comment did sound a little burn-y, though; maybe trying to take a bit of starch out of our dear hosts...

...all in good fun, of course...