It means that Marcia's being a pain in the neck.

Definitely been some slim pickins for the Detritus recently. I suppose that's a good thing. However, it's always nice to see orchestras present the music of lesser known, if not fictional, composers.

The program heard Friday night at Heinz Hall featured two composers who share a proclivity for brooding music -- Jan Sibelius and Dmitri Shostakovich.

Jean Sibelius' gawkish younger sister is finally able to make name for herself despite freckles, glasses, and a popular older sibling. Unable to attend the performance was longtime boyfriend, George Glass.

figure bitter-over-success-of-older-sibling: "Well, all day long at school I hear how great Jean is at this or how wonderful Jean did that! Jean, Jean, Jean!"

embeddence musical prodigies: Destined for greatness, Jan flexes that golden voice singing for a local variety show with her brothers and sisters.

Today's Special!

What is today's special?

Wait...why is today special?

Thanks to symphony and guests, ‘Rite of Spring’ is breath of fresh air
Mark Kanny, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, 4/29/2010

Hilarious.

I mean, sure, Le sacre is totally like "a breath of fresh air"...a rude, disssonant, primal breath to chase out the stuffy stink of stolid Biedermeier conert-going sensibilities. Which is, I'm sure, what the title-writer intended.

Ah, good times. Anyway; Mark?

The three pieces of music being performed at Heinz Hall this week add up to a special concert experience,…

A sufficiently generic, pleasant article opening that provides little information. Cleverly, this motif is spun out by the author to include the description-less descriptor “special.” This is at best an empty signifier, and at worst makes the concert sound vaguely poor—or perhaps differently-abled.

"Special," moreover, makes no actual claims or demands; it is literally everyone's grandmother or grandchild.

Figure 1: "Stay tuned for a special Grey's Anatomy."

…even by the standards of Manfred Honeck and the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra

Man. That does sound special! More special than usual!

He's shown mastery of diverse styles right from his debut,…

[blank stare]

…but this week's program was tasty in fresh ways.

Astounding! After an opening layer of carefully constructed information-free blandness, pow! Zing!

…tasty in fresh ways.

That’s…awesome. I don’t even know where to begin.

Figure : A...salmon martini? Maybe?

Figure 3 : Pondering another aspect.

Composer Richard Danielpour concludes his term as composer of the year with weekend performances of his new…

[calls Gustav]

[Gustav is not there. It is 2 A.M. Did I think he would pick up?]

[Gustav would have had something nice to say about Danielpour’s music, I bet.]

Uh…



[snip]

The second movement [of the Danielpour-ed.], "In Memory of the Innocent," is beautiful in special ways.

Well, that’s pretty faint prai…wait.

What?

...beautiful in special ways.

No. Way.

You did not. That is spectacularly amazingly hysterically funny. I am quite literally Laughing Out Loud.

...tasty in fresh ways.

...beautiful in special ways.

Man. There must be an adverb shortage in Pittsburgh.

Figure 4: Both Ways and Means

Friday Quickie -- A Little Thing Called Contemporary Music

figure obvious: Well, duh.

I think Mark Kanny, of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, thinks I'm stupid.

International Contemporary Ensemble sees endless possibilities in contemporary music

figure obvious: Yes, but do you have huts?

There's a word for my response...an expression of disdain for something stupid or obvious, especially a self-evident remark. Hmmm...?

Contemporary music offers the opportunity for incredible variety in assembling a concert program.

I think Mark Kanny just discovered the 20th century, or that there is music written for ensembles other than orchestras and string quartets.

There's no dominant style of composition today, and the ingenuity of fresh instrumental combinations is breathtaking.

If only I knew how to express my annoyance at this banal, obvious statement.


The situation has spawned a new world of mixed chamber groups that go far beyond dominance of string-quartet instruments, often with piano, characterizing older chamber music.

The situation? This sounds serious.

figure obvious: This is also serious.

Now, the possibilities for varied sonorities are virtually endless.

Boy, those contemporary music guys sure are clever people.

The International Contemporary Ensemble will present a program of mixed chamber music Saturday evening at the Andy Warhol Museum in the North Side.

Sounds like a cool event. Bringing in musicians from around the world to present the music of international composers to a new and interesting alternative space....awesome.

The concert continues the collaboration between the University of Pittsburgh's Music on the Edge concert series and the Warhol.

Nice. Kind of wished I lived in a city that offered such events.

So, we're in Pittsburgh, in a museum dedicated to a quintessentially American artist...how about you tell us about the international component of tonight's concert? The International Contemporary Ensemble...from which far off land of mystery do they hail?

The group is based in Chicago and New York City, and numbers 30 musicians.

Ah, the great Republic of Chicago, and the Federated States of New York. How very international.

It recently was described in The New York Times as "one of the most adventurous and accomplished groups in new music." Four musicians from the roster of the International Contemporary Ensemble will play the Saturday concert...

Excellent. I bet they all have exotic, international names...

...flutist Claire Chase, clarinetist Joshua Rubin, percussionist David Schotzko and guitarist Daniel Lippel.

Claire, Josh, David and Daniel? How ever do you pronounce these crazy foreign names? Me and my blasted American education.

figure obvious: Obviously.

Also, flute, clarinet, percussion, guitar...that's a funny sounding string quartet.

Note that there is no string quartet instrument -- violin, viola or cello -- and no piano.

Oh, right, this is "contemporary" music -- full of possibilities.

But no piano? Where does contemporary music get off taking the piano out of the string quartet?

Sounds like the work of socialists if you ask me.

And frankly, all these foreign names, far off lands like Chi-cag-o, and now, no piano in the string quartet, is beginning to make me think that I might not be ready for this "contemporary music" and their "varied sonorities". I think you can just count me out.

figure contemporary music: Contemporary music is trying to make me take drugs and turn me into a socialist.

Scherzo...which means joke

Mark Kanny, of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, offered up this short review of the Orion String Quartet.

Orion quartet shines in chamber opener

Vitality sang...

Curious personification...

Vitality sang with many accents...

I'm not sure that's really a compliment, since we typically associate singing with lyricism and not so much with "many accents"...but, whatever...

Vitality sang with many accents Monday night when the Orion String Quartet opened the season of the Pittsburgh Chamber Music Society at Carnegie Music Hall in Oakland.

Puzzling personification aside, good opening sentence. There's a who, what, where, when, all packed into a short, concise sentence. I hope you'll expound on that vitality comment, though.

In addition to classical and romantic repertoire, the program featured the world premiere of "A Tribute for Two" by Pittsburgh native Eugene Phillips, which proved to be a rewarding composition.

Nice little aside -- because, at first, I was quite worried about being taxed when you first mentioned a world premiere.

Graph 1: We just don't tax vices like we use to.

The premiere had a sweet charm because the violinists of the quartet, Daniel and Todd Phillips, are the sons of the 90-year-old composer.

That is sweet. I'm kind of surprised we didn't get some hackneyed "family affair" cliché crammed into the headline for this review. Oh well...

An exquisite performance of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's String Quartet in G major, K. 387, opened the concert with great allure.

Good thing the performance was alluring...I was just about to get up and leave, but I was allured--enticed even--to stay.

Plus, isn't adding "great allure" a bit redundant? The exquisite performance was alluring? Seems rather obvious, no? Yes, exquisite and allure mean different things, but why compliment the performance twice...once at the start of the sentence and once again at the end. I just don't like that construction. Don't worry about it, though, I'm sure it's just me.

But...we had started so well. Short and concise. Good information, and now this unfortunate wordiness...

The quartet, led by Todd Phillips, gave a performance of Mozartean refinement and songfulness.

Wait...the Mozart was Mozartean?

figure insekt: The nightmarish narrative in the Metamorphosis sure is Kafkaesque.

Also...songfulness? I know that dictionary.com says it's a word, but admit it...that sounds made up.

Soft passages were genuinely soft, and while there was ample dynamic range, the music never shouted.

Ah...there you go. Back to your concise, unadorned critique. Well said.

Phillips' "A Tribute for Two," written eight decades after his first composition, was a three-movement response to the passing of two friends. The first movement was shrewdly drawn, full of muscularity in an uneasy context.

Now, I haven't heard the piece, but what is "an uneasy context"? Did you have to listen to the piece while discussing the "birds and the bees" with a curious 6 year old, or did you perhaps accidentally run over the composer's cat? Or perhaps it was like eating at Taco Bell?

The heart of the piece is the slow movement, which didn't dawdle at the "Andante con moto" tempo.

"Didn't dawdle"? I actually think that's what the "con moto" means.

Nor did it wallow in grief.

Once again, I direct you to the meaning of "con moto"...and actually, I think you misunderstand "andante" as well.

It was a beautiful evocation of two personalities, with inspired music for transitions.

Whoa...I do love a good tempo analysis, but this seems like the meat and potatoes of the piece. What does it mean "two personalities"? How were they evoked? What were the emotions of each? Did they seem representative of the deceased?

And "inspired music for transitions"? Transitions between the two personalities?

...such a short sentence and so many questions.

The finale, called Scherzo, which means joke, was lively, witty and brief.

Okay, it shouldn't bother me, but..."called Scherzo". It just seems so 5th grade book report. Might I suggest: entitled, or titled, named, designated...hell, even christened, dubbed, or consecrated would have been more interesting.

Also, more to the point, while scherzo does originate from an Italian word meaning "joke", you should know that in this context the word scherzo has more connotations as a formal movement than as an evocative title. It's a lively movement (traditionally speaking) that was used to replace the obligatory, and often boring minuet movement. It's more of a perfunctory title....m'kay?

Phillips' new piece was so interesting, I wished it were longer.

Bassist Timothy Cobb, who was a fully integrated member of the ensemble in the Phillips,...

And here I was, like an idiot, thinking the Phillips was a string quartet.

Thanks for leaving me hanging, Mr. Kanny.

....[Cobb] also joined the quartet after intermission for Antonin Dvorak's String Quintet in G, Op. 77. It was performed in five movements, with the "Intermezzo: Notturno" that is often omitted and also is played separately sometimes.

lol! (as the kiddies would say). Nice sentence construction. /sarcasm

Daniel Phillips took the first chair for the Dvorak. He is a player of exceptional depth...

I guess unlike his brother...?

...who led a performance fully in touch with Dvorak's emotional world. The "Notturno" was so beautiful, one wondered how it could ever be omitted, while the "Poco Andante" fourth movement was heavenly.

hmmm...interesting idea juxtaposing the beauty of the omitted movement with one performed...

Nor did the performance slight the physical exuberance of Dvorak's personality.

The end.

figure 3: Kind of short on examples today, but I found this photo while searching Kafka. It is very fun to look at.

Compare and Contrast!

I’m winding down my day, so I’ll simply let you fill in the punch lines. All you have to do is compare and contrast these next few paragraphs.

1. This is an excerpt from Mark Kanny’s puff piece about John Adams’ Doctor Atomic, found in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

The action, such as it is, takes place during the day and night leading to the first detonation of an atomic weapon on July 16, 1945. After a soundscape created digitally by Adams, the opera begins with a chorus of scientists singing about physics. It sets a gray, prosaic tone as the characters worry and wait for the countdown to conclude more than three hours of opera later. "Doctor Atomic" is too long, particularly in the time spent at the test site. Scenes in each act at the Oppenheimers' house provide welcome contrast.

Oh, rarely have the words poured from a penny pencil with such feverish fluidity!

2. This is Ralphie’s Theme, from A Christmas Story.

What I want for Christmas is a Red Rider BB gun with a compass and a stock and a thing which tells time. I think that everybody should have a Red Rider BB gun. They are very good for Christmas. I don’t think a football is a very good Christmas present.

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And just for giggles, more from Mark’s Pittsburgh puffery.

I like the opera's quietly haunting ending. The novel "Black Rain" by Masuji Ibuse is a good way to explore the world hinted at by the opera's final words.

Kwuh? The opera’s final text...which is quietly haunting...it hints...of a world...in which a different text...enables good exploration...of the operatic text?

Pfft. (brain fart)

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And really, it's too long? Opera much?
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