A New Year Quickie - Emphasis on structure robs music of forward pulse...Again!

I am becoming more and more convinced that some critics just don't read their reviews before they publish them. Seriously, I'm pretty sure what follows doesn't actually mean anything.

Although, when you take into consideration current day practices of music criticism...

NY String Orchestra @ Carnegie Hall
Eugene Chan, Queens Examiner, Dec. 31, 2010

Current day performance practice of Beethoven symphonies...

Okay, let me stop here and add that Eugene never once tell us which symphony the orchestra is playing. I guess I should be glad that he mentioned it was by Beethoven, because really, do you need to know anything else?

However, I'm more interested in learning about current day performance practices of Beethoven symphonies...

figure current day performance practices: Beethoven as performed by my iPhone.

It's all yours, Eugene.

Current day performance practice of Beethoven symphonies often emphasize fleet of tempo and attack.

A couple of things, and I hate to be picky, but your subject and verb really should agree. Also, I think you mean fleetness (a noun), since it's sort of difficult to emphasize an adjective in this context -- or you have a superfluous "of" before tempo. And, I'm not quite sure what a fleet attack in music is.

figure fleet: A clever play on words?

But never mind, we're learning something here.

Laredo's [the conductor] interpretation was slower and emphasized string playing that was plush in texture.

Plush? The string playing was "a fabric, as of silk, cotton, or wool, whose pile is more than 1/8 inch (0.3 cm) high"? Plus, isn't "in texture" sort of redundant?

Of course, we kid. Okay, his interpretation of the unnamed symphony was slower than you're used to, and featured a richer string sound. Sure, why not.

An audience member could often hear Beethoven's orchestration,...

...and the rest of the time?

...which sometimes was illuminating--...

Illuminating is good. So what was illuminated by the sometimes heard orchestration (in this version that was slower and had sumptuous strings)?

...for example about a minute into the fourth movement the interplay between first violins, violas and second violins.

Good call. That is totally an awesome moment. And please, don't waste your time explaining further, because we all know exactly where you're talking about in this unnamed Beethoven symphony.

At other times the emphasis on structure robbed the music of its forward pulse.

Precisely. If only Beethoven had... . What's that again?

[Rereads sentence] Okay?

figure confused?: Just try and figure out my logic.

"The emphasis on structure" -- I know what structure is, although I'm not quite sure how a performance emphasizes it. Extra loud accents when themes begin and end?

"...robbed the music of its forward pulse." -- So you're saying that music slowed down? Or is this a metaphorical pulse, as in the music lost your attention.

Fuck me, this isn't clear at all.

Maybe your conclusion will help clarify things.

However, after an entire concert of chamber-like balances...

Uh-huh. Symphonic music is always so inappropriately balanced?

...and volume restraint,...

Yes, the orchestra was too quiet, until...

...Laredo removed the reins off the orchestra at the very end.

I'm a big fan of the orchestra is a horse metaphor. Really, it's just such a contemporary, accurate comparison.

figure horse: See, a horse isn't a metaphor, it's a piece of art by Maurizio Cattelan.

The symphony closed with crackling horns and sizzling strings as the music hurtled to its close.

Well, that certainly cleared everything up.

After a slow performance that made that one section with the violins and violas audible, but robbed the forward pulse through emphasis on structure, the conductor flung the music to its close on a metaphorical horse.

Praise to the principal flute Adrienne Kantor for her graceful adornment in the slow movement of the Brahms Double and the rapid fluttering passage work in the finale of the Beethoven.

Yes, praise be to Adrienne.

Rhetoric Effectively Used to Say Little

I've read reviews in the past, but never one quite like this. It was fitting, and poured across my eyes like words from a computer screen. The descriptions glowed effervescently with metaphors and similes sparkling with the delirium of cliche observations and orgasming in a "cool down" and a dubbing.

Chopin was there too.

Review: Rockford symphony starts season on high note
Tim Hughes, RRStar.com (Rockford Register Star), September 20, 2010

I’ve attended opening night at the symphony in the past, but never one quite like this.

Really? Never??

figure guess: This would be a bit different...what do you think?

So what was so unique about this concert?

It began with Czech composer Bedrich Smetana’s “Overture to the Bartered Bride,” a comic opera which, since its first performance 145 years ago, has become a staple of opera company repertories around the world.

So, the overture to a standard repertoire opera is uncommon for opening night symphony concerts?

I think I'm confused.

The brief, lively overture was a fitting opening number for the new season, reaching an incredible intensity.

Fitting? Why do you say that? It's a comic opera about arranged marriages...is that the fitting part?

Or just the "incredible intensity"?

Then came the evening’s guest artist, Jeffrey Biegel.

You're right. Why would we care about why you felt it necessary to single out this opening night concert as unique, or why the Smetana overture was especially apt? That kind of first-person elucidation is boring.

Let's move on.

In honor of the bicentennial of Frederic Chopin’s birth, Biegel performed two of the composer’s early opuses...

Seems logical, but rather stiff...how about a out-of-place metaphor or simile that tells us nothing?

...that at times fell on the audience’s ear like cascading brook water.

Beautiful. Plus it's rather cliche. Bravo, sir.

figure Monument to Chopin in the Singapore Botanical Gardens: Not funny, just thought it odd that Singapore has a monument to Chopin.

So, I'm a pretty big fan of overwrought prose and metaphorical descriptions. Do you have any more?

At other times, it was delivered with a fury that gemmed and jeweled each note as his fingers flew across the keyboard.

Impressive. I think you've succeed quite nicely in telling us pretty much nothing.

Next, Biegel performed Keith Emerson’s “Piano Concerto No. 1,”...

Which Chopin did he play again?

...which radiated with an onrushing cacophony of sound glittering with the frenzy of modern urban life and climaxing in a horizon wide crescendo of breathtaking tonal power.

Bravo. Your words are as florid as they are meaningless.

After taking several well deserved bows,...

I'm sure the ovations were well-deserved...the bows on the other hand...

...Biegel, in what might be deemed a “cool down” encore, moved the audience with a tender rendering of Chopin’s “Fantasy Impromptu.”

"Cool down"?

figure cool down: Good call. We definitely wouldn't want to do something we would feel sorry about later. Thanks, Chopin.

Anyway, why would one have doubted that deeming?

The evening was capped with a performance of Brahms’s sprawling “Symphony No. 1.,” dubbed “The Tenth” in recognition of it similarities to Beethoven’s ninth.

Why tell us the Brahms has similarities to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony? Is that relevant to this performance?

Nevermind, you're right, don't overwhelm us with details. Information only confuses the matter.

General impressions, melodramatic metaphors, and unexplained opinions are the tools of any great critic.

A few more entries in our continuing GREAT REVIEW TITLES series

You know, as the title says.

Titles are hard...we get that. But every so often a critic (or editor, as it may be) makes a truly special effort to succinctly capture the magic of the live concert-going experience.

First up, from the Times-Herald Record, the direct approach:

Review: Greater Newburgh Symphony Orchestra in Newburgh

Exactly. I feel like I was there.

...in Newburgh.

Also in Newburgh...

figure culture: Thank you American Idol.

Next, from the Houston Chronicle, we have the ridiculous pun:

Symphony Review: Rite a riot of orchestral color

Har har har. You see, because there was a riot at the original premiere a hundred years ago. Priceless.

Whew!

My sentiments exactly.

No riots broke out at Jones Hall on Friday night as maestro Hans Graf led the Houston Symphony in Stravinsky’s explosive The Rite of Spring — in contrast to the legendary ruckus unleashed at the work’s 1913 premiere in Paris.

Maybe it was more of a quiet riot?

figure cum on feel the noize: Mama weer all crazee now.

Later...

Later dramatic bursts proved quite formidable,...

To what? Napping?

...between the slashing strings, pounding percussion, blaring brass and woodwinds that wailed and keened.

Just once I would like my string blaring, woodwinds pounding, brass slashing and percussion that keened.

Even with no dance element, this rendition of the score made it clear something wild, violent and vital was happening.

Send the women and children to safety!

Well, pagan fertility rites are not for hidebound suburbanites.

This is so true.

And lastly, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution demonstrates how you really explain a metaphor.

ASO plays new music, familiar Beethoven on fire

On fire? The musicians were on fire while playing new music and familiar Beethoven?

For long stretches, the orchestra was playing on fire.

Okay. They were on fire.

Was it something like this?

figure on fire: If only Beethoven had lived to see this.

So, clearly "on fire" is a metaphor. But what exactly was on fire -- they were playing great? Everything was coming together beautifully?

It wasn't a radically different interpretation, in terms of tempos, phrasing and balances, such as the prominence given to inner voices.

Hmmm. Interesting, but I'm still not totally clear. How about an analogy to help explain the metaphor?

But like a racing yacht that accumulates an advantage in a regatta by sailing a hair closer to the wind, Knussen delivered a remarkably intense reading by trimming the orchestral sails just taut enough to drive momentum forward, just loose enough that there was never a hint of anxiety or strain or excessive loudness.

And then the orchestra caught fire...just like most racing yachts.

He had us believing that the slow second movement was about the most unexpectedly interesting work Beethoven even composed -- intelligent, loving and always deeply musical.

But, of course, we knew better.

Idioms, Metaphors, & Dangling Prepositions

This lovely biographical/fluff piece comes from the Scotsman.com (which is, unsurprisingly, a Scottish news organisation). [Queen's English sic]

Benedetti makes her critics face the music

Ah, it works on so many levels! Literally, idiomatically, and...well, two, actually.

SHE is almost as renowned for her impeccable manners and composure as she is for her sublime musical talent.

This seems blatantly false, but it makes a nice enough lead-in, I suppose. Perhaps I'm wrong; do they have a Manners and Composure section in most UK papers? (It can't be worse than the Life section in the Austin American-Statesman.)

But now, after years of biting her tongue, Nicola Benedetti...

Figure 1: Nicola Benedetti
(Careful, you'll get eye shadow on that thing!)

...has finally hit back at the critics who have caused her heartache.

It is generally not recommended that you date your critics.

The acclaimed violinist has aimed her bow at over-zealous reviewers who make sweeping assertions about her...

Violinist...bow...oh, I get it! She's also a part-time (and, presumably, renowned) ship's captain!

Figure 2: A Bow

Puns are outstanding.

...and urged them to "chill out".

Since the idiom is set off with quotes, I am able to identify it as such! Without such punctuational assistance, I'd be left with the assumption that she'd like her critics (and erstwhile suitors?) to remain outdoors in what (I assume) is nasty, bitter, Scottish weather. Thanks, quotation marks!

[snip]

Benedetti admitted that she had been left hurt by some particularly vituperative criticism. "There were some articles that I got really upset about."

There are some parts of speech about which I get upset when ending sentences, but only mildly.

But wait! There's content:

[snip]

The violin virtuoso also gave her verdict on modern music.

Ah, I am curious what a 21-year old violin virtuoso thinks about modernism and other current trends. What say you, wunderkind?

"There are some artists that are really, really special, but I don't like most commercial rap and R&B… I'd rather not listen to that."

Hmm. She doesn't like Rochberg and Berio? Who knew?

(Redundant Link: The whole article is here.)