Enjoy Your Symptoms, America!

We’re a little late on this one, but if you haven’t heard, the Miami Herald had to navigate a 17% cutback. And, as usual, classical music is the first to take one in the ass. Critic Lawrence A. Johnson has been offered an involuntary buyout, which he accepted, or, as Musical America noted, was forced to accept.

I know we’ve had our differences with Lawrence at times, but we still love him. So, on behalf of The Detritus Review:



















Stop making us wash your dirty underwear, newspaper higher-ups! You don’t deserve our arts, anyway.

According to Musical America, both the KC Star (Paul Horsley) and the Herald are owned by the same parent company, McClatchy Co., who is trying to offset the vast debt incurred from its purchase of the media conglomerate Knight Ridder (terrible name, by the way).

And as we have said too often before: Good luck in the blogosphere! Lawrence, as a parting/welcoming gift: a way for everyone to find your new blog, South Florida Classical Review, from us.

(Upset With Undewear by Jana Bartouskova)
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Fuck You for Making Me Wash Your Underwear, Again

Critic Paul Horsley’s position at the Kansas City Star, which is owned by McClatchy Co., has been terminated. This sucks.

“I’m sorry this requires the painful announcement we are making today, but we’re taking this action to help ensure a healthy future for our company.”

Who needs culture, anyway, right?

Or: Way to anticipate the future of your market, idiots. Preemptive media integration, perhaps...? Nope. After-the-fact media integration. “Sounds good boys. Now for the next item on the docket. What’ll we do about yesterday, tomorrow?”

Sorry, Paul. We rarely had the opportunity to take apart your stuff, which means we like your writing. Good luck in the future and hope to see you in the papers or on the web soon!

Because of idiots, I get to put up this lovely painting again.



















(painting by Jana Bartouskova)
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