A Little Night Probing with a Knotty Schoenberg

In Sator Arepo’s recent post, Bernard Holland suggests that George Pearle’s music is like something from outer space. I’m not so sure that Bernard isn’t on to something.

We all know that Schoenberg’s Violin Concerto

usually comes off as an icy monolith of modernism.



Right?

Who then could possibly untangle Schoenberg’s spaceman-like naughty knots?

Who could bring out his latent, other-worldly romanticism?

Who could beam 30 fiendishly difficult, atonal minutes down into 12-tone ribbons of lyrical melody?

I think it’s clear. Thank you Mr. Holland.

The answer?

...

Shhhh. They might be listening, waiting to take over the world, or subliminally supplying us with bad writing about Schoenberg.

I know who can do this. But you have to keep it to yourself, in case you get probed. Just be quiet.

....

It’s.

...

Aliens, who look like us. (artist's rendering)

...

Here’s one of them.

...

And another. They can look like music critics from the Detroit Free-Press, too.

Now that you know, here's Schoenberg.
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Mad Libitum!

Given that the article is only 360 words, can you guess what percentage of those words are adjectives? Go on, give it a try. What’s your guess? Well, the actual answer is... drum roll... 13% or 47 adjectives. I even omitted a few, like dark chocolate. That’s quite a proportion considering that articles, conjunctions, pronouns, nouns, verbs and adverbs, and the like, require a good deal of space. Oh, and don’t forget multiple word proper nouns and numbers and stuff. This proportion, of adjectives to other part of speech, is a difficult thing to do without losing coherence. Congratulations Mark Stryker of the Detroit [Editor-] Free Press for defying the odds, sort of.

In the spirit of defying odds, let’s try something a little new, shall we? Here’s the whole article, partitioned paragraph by paragraph. The same direction applies: arrange the extracted adjectives into their appropriate places. Good luck!

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Forgotten

Conductor dusts off ______ gems

Black
Dark
Gloomy
Mystical
Obscure
Uncommercial

When Gennady Rozhdestvensky last conducted the Detroit Symphony Orchestra in 2001, he led one of the most brazenly _______ and _______ symphony programs I've heard. The music included _______ Rachmaninoff, _______ Britten, _______ Kancheli and the conductor's arrangement of Schnittke's _______ satire "Suite from Dead Souls."

Beloved
Conventional
Lighter
Unusual
Venerable

This weekend the _______ 76-year-old Russian is exploring more _______ corners of the repertory with the DSO, though the mood is _______ and he also is leading the _______ Schubert's Symphony No. 9. Still, the music was anything but _______ Friday.

High
In-the-moment
Minimal
Quirky
Svengali
Tall
Unique

Rozhdestvensky has a _______ presence. He is _______, preferring to stand on the floor rather than a podium. He favors _______, _______ gestures, though an arm or hand will sometimes shoot out with sudden alacrity. There's a _______ aura about him; he and the orchestra seem to commune on a _______ plane of mystery. Schubert's Ninth had the gravitas of being been delivered from the mountaintop but also _______ spontaneity.

Deliberate
Dynamic
Expressive
Fluid
Glorious
Long
Long
Low
On-the-beat
Slavic
Springy
Verile
Warm
Weighty

Rozhdestvensky drew a _______, _______ tone from the orchestra, the _______ strings and brass as rich as dark chocolate, and the players spoke Schubert's _______ melodies in _______ paragraphs. Paced by _______ and _______ horns, the opening movement unfolded in _______, even _______ tempos, but Rozhdestvensky always had the _______ view in mind. By the finale, the music had grown _______ and _______, the _______ accents evoking the accumulated wisdom of a _______ journey.

Brooding
Giddyap
Rapid
Rousing
Witty

Before intermission, the conductor led two works the DSO hadn't performed in decades. Shostakovich's Piano Concerto No. 1 (1933), also called a Concerto for Piano, Trumpet and Strings, is a _______ burlesque full of _______ mood swings, parody, a _______, _______ conclusion and just enough seriousness to keep it from slipping into slapstick -- a _______ slow-movement waltz is to die for.

Muted
Virtuoso

Pianist Viktoria Postnikova, the conductor's wife, played her _______ part with power and flair, and principal trumpeter Ramon Parcells played with soul, especially in his _______ passages.

Late-romantic
Modernist
Suspense-filled
Twilight-of-tonality

Schoenberg's Chamber Symphony No. 1 (1907), heard in its full orchestra version, looks backward and forward at the same time, caught between _______ opulence and _______ angularity. Rozhdestvensky's _______ phrasing and control of color italicized the _______ ambiguity.

Exalted
Ragged
Unsettled

Still, the performance was _______, _______, as if the telepathy between conductor and orchestra had yet to reach its most _______ state.

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Hope you didn’t fry your synapses. Here’s the answer. How’d you fare?

For your troubles, here’s maestro Rozhdestvensky, in his early days, conducting something just for you. I thought this might something good to listen to after an accomplishment.
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Are They Allowed to Do This?

Remember that previous article, the one that taught us how to wax poetic?

This one?

Well, I’m not sure that the Detroit Free Press can do this:

This one.

Two days later, but with a different title.

That’s like printing an article today that says the economy in Detroit is looking grim, with no end in sight (reprinted from an article originally published on October 30, 1929), just with a different title.