3/25/09

Prefabricated Sentence Jar

[Hypothetical critic’s logic process] Hmm. I have to review a symphony tonight.

...

Okay! They are generally laid out in a fast-slow-fast scheme. (Good, so far.) Fast movements are generally punchy, with thrust. (Sweet.) And slow movements...

I know! They’re poetic and warm. Excellent. (pats own back)

Now, to the word processor! Hmm:

The audience (no) conductor had the cellos (nope) music...flowing...with a...broom (er) sweep, giving the fast movements outer movements (that way I can kill two birds with one duck [arg] stone) a lot of punch and thrust, and...in particular...bringing out the slow movement’s (which one was it again?) the second movement’s Adagio’s poetry and with warmth.

Good, but it could be better. Let’s see. Where are the nouns?

The conductor had the beautiful music flowing with a passionate sweep, giving the outer movements a lot of punch and thrust, and, in particular, bringing out the Adagio’s wistful poetry with admirable warmth.

Still, not quite right. I think I need an adverb:

The conductor had the darkly beautiful music flowing with a passionate sweep, giving the outer movements a lot of punch and thrust, and, in particular, bringing out the Adagio’s wistful poetry with admirable warmth.

On the right track. Just needs a personal touch:

The conductor had the darkly beautiful music flowing with a passionate sweep, giving the outer movements a lot of punch and thrust (not that there couldn't have been even a little bit more), and, in particular, bringing out the Adagio’s wistful poetry with admirable warmth.

And who says critics’ jobs are easy?

-

[The conductor] had this darkly beautiful music flowing with a passionate sweep, giving the outer movements a lot of punch and thrust (not that there couldn't have been even a little bit more), and, in particular, bringing out the Adagio’s wistful poetry with admirable warmth.

Yikes. It sure didn’t require much insight, or attendance, to write that one, did it?
-

5 comments:

Sator Arepo said...

"Dvorak items"?

Gustav said...

This points to a major pet peev I have about music discourse. Why is it that the conductor is given all the credit for "this darkly beautiful music"? How about the musicians, or god-forbid, the composer? Could it possibly be that orchestral music works because the composer wrote it that way, with all those little notes and markings being directions?

I know we're a performer culture and geared to heap praise to whoever's on stage. As though the pop singer is the real star, while the back up, songwriters, and producers are all talentless hacks only riding the coattails of the newest American Idol sensation. I know this is a small point, and I don't mean to begrudge the major contributions (and obviously essential role) of musicians and conductors in producing the music we love. But seriously, a little perspective would nice every once in a while.

Anonymous said...

Stumbled across your blog, read a little and... SHWA-LING... instant erection! Does music give you erections too?

http://www.beethovenchub.com

buy essay paper said...

SHWA-LING ?? o_O What is it?? Never heard it, could you explain me please

help with essays said...

It sounds like Shoiln a little bit)) That could explains this - Sholin monks can do lot of cool things