Your Iatrophobia Is Showing

Subtle is thy hand, for a serialist shall’nt love receive. Amidst a tasteful amount of gushing over some waltz by Strauss Junior and a Bruckner symphony, this:

[Berg’s Violin Concerto] explores the variety of emotion available to 12-tone compositions...

Subtle, indeed. Did you catch Tennessean critic Jonathan Neufeld’s slight jab, suggesting that there’s a limitation to the variety of emotion inherent in the 12-tone technique?

While it is not conclusive that the above is anti-serialist, there’s this one, which refers to the Laura Turner Hall’s fantastic acoustics for Bruckner’s music:

The same could not be said of the intensely expressive but intricately detailed Berg Violin Concerto. [italics mine]

Expressive BUT intricately detailed? Not sure what Jonathan’s going for—we’ve seen over and over serial music panned for its complexities. So it makes sense to think that Jonathan is implicating Berg’s intricate details as the main culprit, derailing what was otherwise a perfect acoustic display.

On the other hand, a wet hall might not be the perfect condition for the concerto. In my experience, this hasn’t been a problem. So I’ll leave that one in the air.

However, this might prove conclusive:

Berg's orchestration conspired to keep violinist James Ehnes from being heard as clearly as he might have been in a drier, more clinical, hall.

Oh, I get it! So, the orchestration ruined the performance.

See, it couldn’t have been the performer:

Nevertheless, he drew a pure, sweet and full tone, especially in the upper registers, that was a genuine pleasure to hear.

It couldn’t have been the new hall’s acoustics—Bruckner shines there:

Bruckner's huge sonorities and broad-brush Wagnerian drama, along with exposed but clear and full-voiced wind ensembles, come off extremely well in the richly toned Laura Turner Concert Hall.

So it must have been Berg’s orchestration, which requires a drier (don’t forget, serialism is erroneously synonymous with dry), more clinical hall (read: a sterilized operating room), because, as we all know, serialism is emotionally unavailable even if it is intensely expressive.

Like dermatological surgeons.














Graph 1. A place for skin graphs and serialism
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New Year, Same Detritus

C’mon Tennessean! You’re telling me there’s no classical music news? Really?









No. Not really. (See last entry)








I suppose, in the end, it is nice that there is space for Mahler amidst the sea of other random crap. Though, it is a bit puzzling why the story “Angelina Jolie thinking about brief return to film” is found in both “Celebrities Headlines” and “Entertainment Headlines.” Whatever.

What about the Mahler? (Click) Sweet, a concert announcement:

Tonight and Saturday, the symphony will continue its presentation of "Mahler's Sixth."

Sixth what? The sixth double concerto for fife and ondes martenot? Symphonies don’t just play symphonies, you know! Or do you? Have you ever been inside a concert hall? I mean, just for the sake of your inexperienced concert-goers, it might be nice to say, without a doubt, that it is Mahler's Sixth Symphony, instead of just hinting at it.

I’m glad the Tennessean was able to find the best and brightest. Sheesh. Grammar—where to start? The quotations? A lesson in possessives? Titles? Nicknames?

I suppose, if you’re given space for only 130 words...

No. No excuses for poor grammar. Nor vocabulary. And especially not for a lack of musical expertise.

In addition Joseph Haydn's "59th Symphony" also will be performed.

Commas, anyone? Hello...

Also, “also” is redundant; it is the synonym of “in addition.” Don't forget to watch your word count.

Haydn (1732-1809) and Gustav Mahler (1860-1911) are from Austria...

So far, so good, Google.

...with Haydn frequently referred to as "the father of the symphony" for having penned more than 100 pieces.

(rolls eyes) I’ve written nearly one-hundred pieces. Does that mean I’m almost a father?

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And another little Tennessean promo about the same concert:

While neither piece, thematically speaking, will necessarily start your 2009 off with a big Cheshire grin, Haydn’s Symphony No. 59 in A major “Fire” and Mahler’s Symphony No. 6 in A minor “Tragic” remain two enduring examples of brilliance from two of classical music’s masters.

Instead of watching Barack Obama give his inaugural speech, we’re going to show archival footage of his fifth grade book report. It’s not thematically as good, but he got an A on it.

Way to sell it, people. Tickets start from $15 and go up to $85! Enjoy!
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Merdle and Haggard: A Quicky Dialogue

Merdle: Hey, Haggard. Did you hear about the all-Gershwin concert in Nashville?

Haggard: Yeah. I heard the Cuban Overture “entertained with its rumba-flavored, percussion-fueled beat.”

Merdle: Sure was appropriate, wasn’t it?

Haggard: How’s that?

Merdle: It was appropriate because the conductor used to play percussion.

Haggard: Oh.

Merdle: They also played the F Major Piano Concerto, with one of the best Gershwin pianists in America today.

Haggard: Ooh, fun. You know, “fine pianists, like good actors and other successful artists, allow us to find their transitions of mood and moment believable while not allowing us to notice them making those transitions.”

Merdle: Wake and bake?

Haggard: Yeah. Why?

Merdle: No reason.
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