Spicy, Passionate, Cliche'

How to turn out a quick column on a deadline? (Yes, we're not entirely unsympathetic.) Why, just go with the obvious!

Bocelli: I prefer to sing of love

Oh, good. Where are we going with this? Obviousland?

OK, opera fans, want to know what makes superstar tenor Andrea Bocelli tick?

Is it... Italian? I bet it's stereotypically Italian. Also, he's more of an Oprah celebrity; not that he couldn't sing me under the table, but...just sayin'.

Amore.

Awesome. That couldn't have illustrated my point better. We are headed directly for The Easy Cliche'.

"I think that we (see) the television, the radio, the newspaper. . . everywhere, there is war and hate," Bocelli said. "So, at least in my songs, I try to sing love. I prefer it."

Which is strange, because 9 out of ten people polled prefer hate and war to love. But not the Italians!

Bocelli spoke briefly at a press conference at the Grand Hyatt yesterday in advance of his sold-out appearance as Turiddu in a semi-staged production of "Cavalleria Rusticana" tonight and Wednesday at Municipal Auditorium.

Sounds Italian! I bet it's Italian. Also: please don't bother mentioning the composer's name.

In "Cavalleria Rusticana"

Is that Italian? What's it mean? Golly!

("Rustic Chivalry"),

Thanks for that.

a tragedy, the character Turiddu seduces and leaves one girl and then dallies with another man's wife before being challenged to a duel to the death.

Huh. Wow, that is about love! Sort of. Well, sex, anyway. And hatred and death! But we don't like to sing about that, do we? We do? We understand this behavior?

It may surprise the legions of fans that have swooned over the sweet-voiced tenor on "The Oprah Winfrey Show," but Bocelli says he gets the character.

Ah. He "gets" it. Truly excellent journalism.

"Like Turiddu, I'm Italian.

I wish this had come up earlier. It explains everything.

"I've loved women for all my life.

Um. And seduced them, and engaged in adultery? Or, no?

"I've lived all my life with my big passions, so I can understand very well Turiddu. And I honestly ... I excuse him. So, for me, it's very easy to sing the character."

Mmm, love. Spicy, Italian love.

Musically, though, the part is a challenge, Bocelli says, calling his role a "very tough part."

[snip]

And the Italian-speaking tenor,

Seriously? The Italian tenor...speaks Italian? Whoa. You just blew my mind.

who said he was battling a slight case of bronchitis, did promise his San Antonio audiences one thing: "I will do all my best tomorrow," he said. "I can't know the result, but I am sure that at least the pronunciation will be perfect."

Hilarious. Because, see, he speaks...

The San Antonio Opera production will be directed by Maestro Eugene Kohn, who is best known for his work with another great tenor: Placido Domingo, whom he directed in concert here last year.

Who is also Italian.

I'm bored. What's for lunch? Gin? That's not Italian! You know what's Italian? Love!

Edit: Placido Domingo is, of course, Spanish. I am an idiot.