The Detritus Review

Critic Is Large; Contains Multitudes, or "Masters Are Masterful"

2011-11-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

Exploring Bartok's Legacy With Plenty of Energy
Anthony Tommasini, New York Times, 11/1/2011

Let's leave aside (by which I mean: let's don't) that the title editor made the random choice to capitalize one of the prepositions and not the other. In virtually every style format exactly zero percent of prepositions in titles should be thusly treated, but maybe it's some new quirk in Chicago 16 of which I'm not yet aware; because, hey: if you didn't change a bunch of shit, why would you need to issue a new edition? It's not like every editor in the world is basically required to buy one every time you...oh, right.

Figure 1: The University of Chicago, publisher of the aforementioned eponymous ubiquitous style guide. So that's how they fund their ~~insanely wacky~~ devastatingly influential school of economics.

Master is a term applied too loosely in classical music.

This is, unedited [by me: ed.] and verbatim, the opening sentence in this review; no words have been manipulated to make it appear more prominent than it is.

To declare someone a master makes it sound as if an artist had reached some benchmark of skill and insight, and every performance said master gave would automatically be masterly.

I'm not sure that "mastery" necessarily equates to "consistency," but, yes, that word is thrown around pretty casually.

In fact great musicians work constantly and continually challenge themselves.

Wow. Good thing I read the New York Times, because I just popped into existence about 45 seconds ago and thought that great musicians were, generally, incompetent but insanely fucking lucky.

But: fine. Overused designator. Too-oft typed moniker.

Maybe the definition of a master is elusive.

Wow; that's award-winning stuff right there. You think you can find insights like that in the Post?

Figure 2: The Post, winner of the "Miss Congeniality" award in the 2010 Best Partisan Rag Pageant.

But somehow you know one when you hear one, as was clear on Monday night when the pianist Andras Schiff played a recital before a full house of rapt listeners at Carnegie Hall.

Really? Let me get this straight, paraphrase-style:*

"Man, people sure throw "master" around a lot; it's vague to begin with and overuse just makes it kind of meaningless and trite. But man! You should've seen this concert! Dude was a master."

Know what? I got your master right here. Self-proclaimed is the way to go, unless you're going to wait for the Times to come around and, finally, declare you to be such.

Figure 3: True mastery is characterized by subtlety.

Become the ruling body.

*We are aware of all internet traditions.

Thank God! Orchestra Doesn't Play Strauss

2011-10-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

Review: ISO's guest artists cast spells with enchanting classics
Jay Harvey, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 15, 2011

You're right. "Guest artists" is much better than providing names.

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times...always keep them guessing.

Music associated with enchantment begins and ends this weekend's Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra concerts, but the way the program's other major work was performed Friday was no less enchanting.

It's quite a talent that can confusingly introduce a concerts and its program with any specifics. Well done, sir.

Which makes me wonder...what is enchanting music? It's been a while, let's ask Google images!

figure enchanting: Oh, dear God. No!

Jonathan Biss, Bloomington-born and on his way to becoming world-renowned, played the solo part in Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 2 in B-flat...

Okay, so was this the enchantment asscoiated music, or the enchanting music? I actually, thought this would be more obvious. Silly me.

...with an elegance that didn't get too lofty to convey emotional engagement.

It's a tough balancing act, all that elegance muddying up the emotional engagement.

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, just leave the elegance at the door. It's always seemed too elitist for my tastes.

His generally crisp, even articulation never overcame his focus on tone, which had a rounded, singing quality even in leaping passage work.

Wait, are the crisp articulations or the rounded, singing tone the elegant part?

And why, oh why, must two positive attributes of piano-playing (good articulation and focused tone) be mutually exclusive? Thank god for players like Jonathan Biss, who defy the laws of music criticism and are the exception that proves the rule.

I wonder what makes him such a great pianist.

A thoughtful artist with lots of individuality to bring to the classic repertoire, Biss crafted a first-movement cadenza that blended youthful vigor and studied reflection, its resonant climax aided by abundant pedal.

If I've said it once...more youthful vigor and abundant pedal, please!

The slow movement had just enough reserve as its delicate song poured forth,...

Yes...er...uh? Wait...reserved what?

...with the piano's quiet, single-line outburst near the end filling the hall. The consistent brio and polish Biss applied to the finale...

I know, seriously. Someone really should edit those changes into Beethoven's score. I know he's the "greatest composer of all-time", but he really should know better than to leave the brio and polish out of this finale.

I mean, how else is he going to produce an ovation?

...produced a slow-building but insistent ovation...

See. Were they standing?! I sure as heck hope so if they expected to cause a spontaneous (completely unplanned) encore.

...that resulted in an encore: the fifth of Beethoven's Six Bagatelles, op. 126.

If I've said it once...audiences love brio and polish!

figure Brio plaster polish: Who knew.

In the concerto, guest conductor Gilbert Varga kept the balance and coordination of the orchestra keenly matched to the soloist.

I should hope so.

This was no surprise,...

Oh really? Why?

...given the controlled grandeur and sweep of the program-opener: Mozart's Overture to "The Magic Flute."

Of course! If I've said it once, I've said it thousand times. If you can control the grandeur of Die Zauberflöte Overture, then you are more than ready for the balance and coordination of pre-19th century Beethoven.

But that opera, from which they performed just the famous overture, is so unconventional, what possibly could they pair it with on this concert? A conundrum that has plagued orchestras for centuries.

The unconventionality of that opera from Mozart's last year is nothing compared to the bizarre pantomime scenario for which Bela Bartok supplied a bristling score in the early 1920s.

Really? To which bizarre pantomime scenario are you referring?

Friday's concert ended spectacularly with the suite from "The Miraculous Mandarin."

Hmmm...now I'm a classical music lover, and I've heard of Beethoven and Mozart, and I've even seen Amadeus. So I consider myself an expert on The Magic Flute, and that opera has a guy dressed up as a bird. That's pretty crazy.

figure adult man dressed as bird: See. That opera is pretty silly. Wait...is that a...nipple?!

What's this Mandarin guy got?

In the story line, some roughnecks commandeer a young woman as sexual bait, forcing her to lure visitors to a seedy apartment.

I'm pretty sure most of Mozart's opera are about the same thing. Basically.

Two hapless men are ejected for insufficient funds, and then the title character proves too much to handle, in ways the complete score details.

Two men kidnap a woman into sexual slavery, but their plans are thwarted when the their home is foreclosed on?

Banks...always screwing the little guy!

Also, that's an odd summary you've written there. "Proves too much to handle..."?

Are these two men the Tim Conway and Don Knotts to the Miraculous Mandarin's orphaned kids from The Apple Dumpling Gang?

figure two hapless men: "You know something, Amos? The Lord poured your brains in with a teaspoon, and somebody joggled His arm. I keep trying to tell you we ain't got no lead to throw, and no powder to throw it with. "

The suite is graphic enough so that it would be inaccurate to say the music transcends the sordid plot.

Uh.... Okay, so I totally agree that the music in a ballet should transcend the plot, although I'm certain I have no idea what that means. But how could you even tell if the music is transcending the plot since you're only hearing the suite (without the whole ballet part)?

Or are you suggesting the music is too accurately depicting the graphic storyline? ...a concept I'm having a difficult time actually visualizing.

Oh bother.

Still, it's one of the milestones of symphonic modernism and received a brilliant performance Friday, with Varga and the ISO conveying every snarling or spooky twist and turn.

Sexual slavery aside, it's still a great piece. But "magic" flutes have nipples.

Obscure, early music by Varga's Hungarian countryman Bartok showcased principal guest concertmaster Alexander Kerr.

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times...why must you vaguely, and somewhat confusingly introduce a piece without giving us the title?

The first of "Two Portraits" features a ceaseless, impassioned violin solo that Kerr sustained beautifully.

He sustained the solo? Is this sustained as in maintained, or as in ratified?

The second one is mocking and vehement; it discards the solo violin -- the composer's payback for a love affair gone awry -- in a performance both idiomatic and picturesque.

I like my vehement mocking picturesque, too!

Wait...what pieces were associated with enchantment?

Complementary work deserves compliments

2011-09-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

Review: Harrell finds many subtleties in Dvorak
Bruce R. Miller, Sioux City Journal, September 23, 2011

In great contrast to me, I suppose.

Antonin Dvorak wasn't interested in writing any works for cellos -- ...

He wasn't?

... he didn't think they were good solo instruments.

He didn't?

Thankfully, wiser heads convinced him otherwise and he produced the Cello Concerto in B Minor -- ...

Ah yes, the masterful op. 104. The first and only piece for solo cello that Dvorak ever wrote, not counting the first Cello Concerto in A major, B. 10, his Cello Sonata in F minor, the Polonaise in A major for cello and piano, the Rondo in G minor (which he later orchestrated), the arrangements he made of his Slavonic Dances for cello and piano, or the transcription of Silent Woods for cello and piano, and later for cello and orchestra.

Wiser heads truly did prevail.

...a piece that Lynn Harrell owned Saturday night performing with the Sioux City Symphony Orchestra.

Don't you mean pwned?

Bopping along...

Bopping along? ...in his little red wagon?

...with the orchestra's parts, he practically made the music seem as if it was one of classical music's Top 10.

Which, of course, it's not. Pssh.

To even suggest that this piece belongs in the same esteem as Eine kleine nachtmusik or the William Tell Overture (just the Lone Ranger part, not the rest, of course) is blasphemy. Classical music's Top 10 is a sacred, unalterable law of nature. I mean, would you really have Time Life Recordings remake all those cds?

He got his cello to sing, too, mimicking Lori Benton's superior flute work and justifying the brass section's noble fanfares.

The cello sang, copying the flute and justifying the brass? Sure, that sounds like orchestration 101 to me.

The piece -- part of a Dvorak night -- wasn't one you'd go home humming, but it did have plenty of work for everyone to do.

So, the Dvorak was more like Bill Lumbergh?

figure superfluous Office Space reference, loosely tied to Dvorak: "Hello Peter, whats happening? Ummm, I'm gonna need you to go ahead come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9 that would be great, mmmk... oh oh! and I almost forgot ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, kay. We ahh lost some people this week and ah, we sorta need to play catch up."

Harrell, in fact, gave his fingers such a deft workout you frequently wanted a camera on them to see just how he was able to zip from the melodramatic to the sublime.

Precisely, a giant scoreboard with closeups, replays, and the 'kiss cam' in between pieces. Whatever I can do not to listen to the music.

Harrell played well with all sections of the orchestra (even those that had some timing snags) but he was particularly chummy with the woodwinds.

figure chummy: Lynn and the woodwinds reenacting the battle of Antietam. As I assume most woodwind sections do.

The adagio showed they were willing to step up to their guest's level and compete. The horns did nicely, too.

I'm sure the horns will appreciate the shout-out.

And that chilling fanfare in the end? It may have been Dvorak's way of putting a button on a request,...

A button?

...but it certainly gave Harrell the rest he needed before launching into a more familar [sic] encore.

Just as Dvorak intended. Subtly, of course.

The rest of the program was filled with other Dvorak works...

As all-Dvorak programs tend to do, from time to time.

... -- the rather passive "In Nature's Realm," the more familiar Symphony No. 7 in D minor.

"Passive", "familiar"...sounds like a Dvorak concert to me.

Still, it was the Lynn and Lori show that impressed.

I love that show.

figure Lynn and Lori: Thank you, pop culture.

While the rest of the orchestra got a chance to shine in the third number, it was Benton's complementary work that deserved the compliments.

Are we still talking about the concerto?

Harrell may not have the flash of friends Itzhak Perman and Pinchas Zukerman, but he more than has the skills.

Itzhak Perman?! I realy ove that guy. Seriousy.

Saturday night, he was willing to share them with the Siouxland musicians.

Wait. Itzhak Perman and Pinchas Zukerman were there?

And the result? The result was good, very good.

Gabby Hayes good?

Even better?

Even better than Gabby Hayes, the cello concerto that almost wasn't, and the unrestrained irreverence of the Lynn and Lori Smile-Time Variety Hour!?

If it isn't a complete and utter non-sequitur, and extremely patriotic, I'm not sure it could be any better.

The orchestra started the season with a rousing version of the Star Spangled Banner. While this was probably a given decades ago, it was nice to see it back -- a good way to start what could be a great season.

I know, I was totally in danger forgetting that piece.

Wait...what did you say about subtleties?

Friday Quickie: Tales of Not-Quite New Music

2011-09-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

Bamberg Symphony Orchestra Review
Iain Gilmour, EdinbourghGuide.com, September 5, 2011

The Bamberg Symphony Orchestra is well-remembered from its five-concert residency at the 2003 Edinburgh International Festival.

Excellent. Sounds like repeat engagement would bring about a wonderful reunion.

Neither memories nor growing repute from widespread touring were sufficient to draw a reasonable-sized audience to the first of its two concerts closing the Usher Hall run in the 2011 Festival.

Hmm. I wonder what the problem was? Also, what's a reasonable-sized audience? How unreasonable could it have been -- was the fire marshal called?

figure reasonably-sized: Seems to fit nicely.

The choice of programme could have been a determining factor.

Really...the choice of programme? I've never heard such an accusation before.

Did they program symphonic U2? Because, there's no way I'd miss that!

embeddence U2: Note the presence of a singable tune.

An evening devoted solely to Messaien and Bartok is not a sure crowd-puller.

Oh, of course. Composers who, despite being dead (a major plus), had the misfortune of writing music after the era of good music had ended.

That is no criticism of the orchestra or its English conductor Jonathan Nott,...

Of course not. It's not their fault that music after 1900 is awful.

...who has just extended until 2015 a tenure as principal conductor begun in 2000. Nott encouraged and controlled the players admirably in the opening item, Messiaen’s Chronochromie.

Encouragement and mind-control are indeed good tactics, but really, you'll catch larger audiences with Beethoven than you will with Messiaen.

Conventional wisdom, I know, but playing the Messiaen well will never mean as much as not playing it at all.

But since the orchestra has lost their minds, and are probably only performing in front of the cleaning crew and student composers, tell us a little about this piece.

The work encapsulates two ideas – time and colour...

Hence the name.

... – and demands a big orchestra, with the usual percussion section enlarged by gongs, bells, glockenspiel, marimba, cymbals and xylophone.

Wait. Gongs, bells, cymbals, and xylophone are unusual percussion?

figure futuristic instrument: Observe the unusual shape and strange bends in this seemingly normal hunk of metal.

For Messiaen sounds had colour and time was expressed by rhythm and duration.

Wait...time was expressed by duration?! That's clearly some freaky shit.

[snip]

The orchestra produced every twist and turn in the score,...

Against their better judgment, I'm sure.

...from “twittering” sections – reflecting the composer’s lifelong interest in bird song -- to “off-key” combinations with accurate sound and precise timing.

Just think how much better this piece would have been had it been "on-key".

Messiaen was a complex character – composer, ornithologist, church organist (for 60 years at Holy Trinity in Paris) and teacher. His spell as Professor of Harmony at the Paris Conservatoire may have had more influence on the development of modern music than his compositions – his students included Stockhausen, Boulez, Goehr, and Kurtag – though he was the first composer to use an early version of an electronic keyboard.

And this is all very important and interesting, of course, providing that no orchestra ever play their music.

Writing about Music Still as Awesome as Last Time I Checked

2011-09-05T01:25:00.000-07:00

Diamond season off to brilliant start
D.S. Crafts, Albuquerque Journal, 9/2/2011

Don't bother clicking the link; the Journal is, apparently, so awesome – one hopes this is due to its expensive and, ergo, excellent staff of wordsmiths – that they don't just give their advertising-soaked content away for nothing. You can sit through an ad for a trial version if you really want to.

I find this patently fucking offensive. Let's just say I'll be getting my local arts coverage somewhere else from now on.

I guess I could take the print version, but (as a friend of mine always replies when offered a subscription to the Austin American-Statesman) I have neither a bird nor a puppy.

---Begin Digression---

A few words are in order. Yes, it has been a long time; life intervenes. Sue us. Also, the Austin-based percentage of Detritus Review writers went from 50% to 66% to 33% to 0% in the short space of a year.* Doings, as they say, are afoot.

*I was going to make a graph of this, but I didn't.

Clever readers will have already surmised that I have relocated to Albuquerque, along with Mrs Arepo and the cat. (Yes, all bloggers really do have cats. No, you cannot see a picture.) All is well and the chile is excellent and near-daily.

Figure 1: Chiles rellenos

Enough.

---End Digression---

My first and only sojourn into the Albuquerque Journal's Pay-to-Read Arts Coverage was rewarded with the requisite Hacky Classical Music Review Title.

Diamond season off to brilliant start

Oh, well played, sirs. Way to not fall into the dreaded let's-at-least-use-the-second-stupid-thing-that-pops-into-our-collective-head trap.

The Santa Fe Concert Association commenced its 75th anniversary season in grand style, bringing to the stage of the Lensic Performing Arts Center soprano Susanna Phillips among others.

If I were the arts director, I'd bring her to the stage by herself — as befits the featured artist — and leave the “others” sort of in the background. What? It was just a missing comma? Oh, never mind, then, newspaper-that-thinks-I-should-pay-for-its-awesome-online-content.

Phillips, seen in August on public television’s Mozart concert, is quickly and rightfully becoming one of the most celebrated singers in the country. A veteran of three Mozart leads at the Santa Fe Opera, she sings two primary roles at the Metropolitan Opera this season.

She does and/or will?

Conducted by Joseph Illick, she opened the program with the “Four Last Songs” by Strauss.

I'm a little confused about agency here; I admit that this might be my own problem.

Figure 2: The crumbling ruins represent sentences

Somber songs about death are not exactly the most festive work to begin a gala opening concert, but from a performance of such radiant beauty there were anything but objections.

Okay; no. It's not just me. Prepositions aren't interchangeable and/or to be omitted ad libitum. The first phrase, which has a prepositional deficiency so severe it likely has scurvy, gives way to a second clause implying that the performance was so exquisite it didn't even object to itself.

With long, warm phrasing she gave heartfelt meaning to each of the poems. Illick carefully gauged the tempos of the predominantly string sonority to allow her a maximum of expression.

One notes with interest that the author of the review is himself a composer; this is a nice insight.

Phillips then returned for selections from Mendelssohn’s Symphony No. 2, “Lobgesang,” which includes chorus, soprano and mezzo-soprano.

Selections? They didn't play the whole symphony? You stay classy, Santa Fe Concert Association.

Here in contrast to the introspective Strauss, she let loose the full power and luster of her voice and shone brilliantly above the orchestral textures.

Still working on that “diamond” thing, eh? Was that with or without conspiring with the title-writing editor to keep up the lame, lame joke?

Linda Raney’s chorus too sang with an unbridled optimism, creating a “joyful noise” most appropriate to the occasion.

The scare quotes lead me to believe that the reviewer thinks that the chorus was awful—but enthusiastic!

Figure 3: Requisite pop culture reference

Pro Tip: Do not use fucking scare quotes in your writing.

Mezzo-soprano Jamie Barton sang two small roles with the Santa Fe Opera this summer, both, unfortunately, too short to give us anything but a glimpse of her outstanding talent.

“Both” is not the same as “each.” That difficulty is overcome, however; even though each [sic] of her small roles was too short to allow an accurate assessment of her talent, said assessment is nevertheless undertaken.

Here too, frustratingly, we heard only one or two short solo passages other than the voice in duet with Phillips.

One or two? Lost count, did we? Wait; maybe I'm confused. There were two singers. What was that last bit again?

...other than the voice in duet with Phillips.

Now I'm more confused than ever. I don't know what that means. The addition or subtraction of a comma and/or preposition (if I have understood the rules of the column-game so far) won't even help.

I, for one, hope to hear more of her rich, hearty mezzo in future.

I, for one, hate clichéd stock phrases. I, for one, will also not be referring to the Albuquerque Journal for information about future local arts events. I, for one, will, further, not address the rest of this review.

I would, however, be remiss if I didn't mention the end of the article.

Appreciative congratulations to the SFCA in this most auspicious 75th season. 1937 had to be a good year. It heralded, as the program notes reminded, the introduction of Spam.

Points for the delightful non sequitur, even if it was cribbed from the program notes.

Concert ruined by programming Schumann

2011-06-21T13:35:00.000-07:00

The following article really isn't a bad article. I really should say that it is indeed a good review. This is the Anne Midgette I enjoy reading. She is a fine writer with an attention to argument and word choice that appeals to my particular tastes. But despite my favorable opinion of this review, it left me with a couple of observations I thought needed making.

Music review: ‘Juggler in Paradise’ at NSO
Anne Midgette, Washington Post, June 10, 2011

Even in an article primarily dedicated to the work of a living composer, it appears that the relative dissonance is still the defining criteria of whether a piece is good or not.

Augusta Read Thomas writes music that is dense and smart but also listenable.

Oh, the false dichotomy...could there be a Detritus Review without you.

So...only dumb music is listenable? And therefore, all smart music is unlistenable?

Thick with complex rhythms, bright with textures, dappled with particular shades of dissonance alternating with snatches of melody, it doesn’t blatantly try to seduce the hearer, but it doesn’t want to be off-putting, either.

This is an interesting comment. In the hands of a lesser writer, I'm not sure this could be read in any other way than to say, "this piece is dissonant, but not too dissonant".

However, more intelligently written, I still think Midgette's point is simply to alleviate the dismissals of those who would, well, dismiss the music of living composers.

There are melodies, but not pretty ones. Got it.

Hers is emphatic music, making its points with a care that approaches the finicky, but it’s always looking over its shoulder to make sure that you’re following.

Sure, why not. Although, I'm not sure I'd ever call finicky music emphatic.

Its blend of intellect and accessibility makes her music very popular with orchestra programmers and conductors.

Okay, so here's that sentiment again, of her music's smartness/intellect. Doesn't this immediately beg the question, what makes her music "smart"?

Rather than immediately starting in with an assessment of her music's dissonance levels, why not explain the very opening sentence -- "Augusta Read Thomas writes music that is dense and smart but also listenable." You have three adjectives here...why must listenable be our only focus?

And in this case, listenable seems to ultimately equal levels of dissonance and consonance.

Of course, smart and dense in music are not as easily defined as I think is assumed here. I know I'm nitpicking Midgette here somewhat, but it seems especially frustrating when she has so many good things to say in her review.

Also, I don't want to disregard this matter of a piece being "listenable". However, I do find that very word to an uninviting place to start. Are there really unlistenable pieces out there?

It's an absurd sort of phrasing -- pieces of music whose sounds cannot be perceived by human ears, or cause so much pain to be safe for aural consumption?

Fine, I'm being too literal. Like I said, I don't wish to ignore listenability. All music must grapple with it's accessibility and it's popular appeal, even if it wishes to disregard them.

And this leads me back to Ms. Midgette's review of Thomas' concerto...

[snip]

The music, though, might not be so popular with audiences.

Interesting. Her smart but listenable music isn't popular with audiences? Any thoughts?

Eight pieces in two decades by one orchestra is an excellent track record for a composer in her 40s, yet it’s hardly enough to breed familiarity among the public.

So, this isn't her fault? Is it that by new music standards, popular still equals rarely performed?

Despite Eschenbach’s presence and the work’s presentation between two slices of Schumann (the “Braut von Messina” overture on one side, the second symphony on the other), Thursday’s audience was sparse.

See, I would blame Schumann for that.

And the crowd seemed oddly untouched by the piece,...

Really? How did you come to this conclusion?

As our lawyer friends might point, are you really testifying as to how some 1000 other people felt on the night of June 9th?

But, I guess I get it, the piece must not be listenable enough.

...a 20-minute arc in which the violin trails through the orchestra and accumulates sounds, like a strand of string picking up sugar crystals to form rock candy.

Ugh. Say no more. I hate rock candy. As I assume everyone in attendance did as well.

Thomas makes emphatic gestures built of sometimes unperceived subtleties, repeating them, with a kind of stuttering effect, to make sure you’ve got it.

Unperceived subtleties repeated until I get them?

If not prefaced with this idea that the audience was untouched, or didn't like the piece, I'm mostly happy with these interesting, if not poetic observations. Perfectly in line with your standard review, however...what does this have to do with your line of argument regarding listenability?

“Juggler in Paradise” — its epithet perhaps one of the less successful of Thomas’s signature poetic titles — is a Harlequin-like piece spangled with bells and wood blocks, in which the violin solos are often joined by bongo drums, or lead into passages of big-band jazziness. At one point, the orchestra held its breath for a solo bongo cadenza, then pounced with a quick powerful chord, like a cat leaping on a mouse.

Sounds like a cool piece. So what in the hell is the problem?

In short, it’s a piece shot through with antic humor, and yet it’s a little too self-conscious to be truly funny.

Oh. You thought the piece was supposed to be funny?

Friday Quickie: That's not something you see everyday

2011-05-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

It's a slow news cycle here in the detritus world of music criticism. And as such...

Symphony in A minor a minor disappointment

Oh. Dear. God.

This week's Minnesota Orchestra concerts, heard Thursday at Orchestra Hall, mark the climax of its season-long Rachmaninoff symphony cycle.

I think the story here is that the Minnesota Orchestra has completely given up on programming good music.

Har har har...see what I did there?

Sorry, I'm sure some of you out there just love Rachmaninoff...but just admit it, you're totally wrong. Right?

Rachmaninoff's Symphony No. 3 in A minor is the composer's final symphony and one of the last of his orchestral works.

In fact that the only other orchestral work he composed (Symphonic Dances) was the only other piece he wrote at all until his death seven years after this symphony. Just saying.

As such, it is a nice pairing with the contrastingly youthful "Firebird."

Sure, what the hell.

The first movement opens in deep melancholy, perhaps expressing Rachmaninoff's sense of loss and of time passing.

Perhaps. But if you're basing this on the fact that you heard the Dies Irae, you should note that every piece Rachmaninoff ever wrote has the Dies Irae in it...or something like that.

So, how was this symphony "a minor" disappointment?

Wigglesworth missed the depth of emotion, stressing orchestral precision over passion, the result feeling somewhat cerebral and cold.

Well, that's not something you read everyday. Rachmaninoff -- "cerebral"? Surely you jest.

figure don't see that everyday: It is just as true today as it was in his day. Amen.

----------------------------------

Actually, Rachmaninoff's music isn't not cerebral. It's just so much more common for his music to be inundated with superlatives extolling the emotional genius of his music. I mean, it's not like he's Bruckner or something.

Friday Quickie: Comparison wasn't not apt

2011-05-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

Making an analogy, or even a direct comparison, can be an illuminating device when talking about abstract concepts. Of course, some people use them in place of an actual point, but Richard Nilsen has a point...just not a good comparison.

Symphony review: Singer Addis punks out on Mahler songs
Richard Nilsen, Arizona Republic, Apr. 22, 2011

“Punks out”?

…

Okay, how did Addis punk out on Mahler?

Phillip Addis wasn't no Sinatra.

Wait. Phillip Addis was not no Sinatra?

So… Phillip Addis is Sinatra?

The baritone sang Gustav Mahler's "Songs of a Wayfarer" with the Phoenix Symphony this week…

Wait…the singer who's not no Sinatra sang Mahler?

How’d he do?

…and the performance was a major letdown.

Well, Sinatra wasn’t known for his Mahler performances.

Sometimes you wait a whole season for a particular concert, because the music scheduled isn't merely beautiful or entertaining, but promises emotional transport.

I wish I had something clever to say here, but really, this is something unique that a symphony orchestra has the power to do but so rarely does. And this seems especially true since they rely so consistently upon the same pieces that have already emotionally transported me many times before.

After all, that is why we who love classical music persist in a love for a dying art form: It can take us out of ourselves and leave us feeling the radiance of the universe.

The art form isn’t dying, it’s just that people always insist on performing pieces that people already know they love.

The classical music universe is definitely not expanding the way most orchestras program.

It is almost a drug and we crave it.

Exactly. But we digress.

So, I’m assuming you love the Mahler “Songs of a Wayfarer” and you wished Sinatra were singing them? …

And when something like the Mahler sits there on the calendar all year, beckoning us to wait for its April date, we hope once again for that emotional and spiritual fix.

Oh, come on, Mahler’s on the calendar every year. But, I guess I know what you mean.

Well, perhaps you can expect too much.

If you expected Sinatra to sing your Mahler, perhaps you did expect too much.

It wasn't that Addis sang badly.

Oh. Was his diction good?

Certainly his diction was good.

Good. Music is all about diction.

As if music were about diction.

Wait? Music’s not about diction?

But the Sinatra comparison is dead on:…

Are you sure, because I can’t even begin to imagine why you’d compare this singer to Sinatra.

…When you heard Frank Sinatra sing, you knew - or felt you knew - that he had lived every word of the song he sang.

And there’s never been a classical singer who you felt this about before? Perhaps even someone who has sang the Mahler before?

The emotional intelligence he brought to lyrics meant that even as his voice declined, his ability to put across a song never wavered.

Exactly. Like when he sang:
Come fly with me, let's float down to Peru
In llama land there's a one-man band
And he'll toot his flute for you

I totally feel like he’s been to Peru, in a way no other artist could.

And the emotional content in lyrics like:
She'll have no crap games with sharpies and frauds
And she won't go to Harlem in Lincolns or Fords
And she won't dish the dirt with the rest of the broads
That's why the lady is a tramp

When he sang that, I could feel that this woman really eschewed the cultured, high-society conventions of her day...like not driving domestic automobiles.

It was what was missing from Addis' performance: He never convinced us - never even tried to convince us - that the words actually mean anything.

This seems fair. But did you really need Sinatra to make this point?

The styles of singing (and the songs themselves) really don't have a lot in common.

He sang as if he had memorized the words, not internalized them. It is at such times that you realize that mere musicality isn't enough: Great art isn't about pretty.

Couldn’t agree with this more… Wait, are you saying Sinatra wasn’t a good singer?

[snip]

But you're making what I would a consider a valid and important observation about the performance...are you sure there isn't a more apt comparison you could provide to help us understand your argument?

If you have ever heard Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau sing these songs, you know how far we have fallen.

Thank you.

See, I don’t know that recording, but this seems like a much better comparison. You've now created a workable reference point for people who know the Mahler songs. Plus, I’m actually likely to seek out this recording to understand better your frame of reference.

Maybe it's just me, but I find this far more illustrative.

The Greatest Review You've Ever Read?

2011-04-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

We here at the Detritus have come to learn that great music is great because it's aesthetically and technically stunning, makes money, makes people happy, is liked by more than 216 people, can run 40 yards in 4.2 seconds, and is written by someone famous and dead.

However, these common criteria leave out, arguably, the most important factor...what's in here. [I'm pointing to my gut]

Concert review: Blomstedt, PSO create a Brahms experience
Andrew Druckenbrod, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, April 09, 2011

We spend an inordinate amount of time trying to define greatness,…

So true. And from what I can tell, it's pretty much an exact science nowadays...

Like when Mel Kiper said of JaMarcus Russell, "Three years from now you could be looking at a guy that's certainly one of the elite top five quarterbacks in this league. Look out because the skill level that he has is certainly John Elway-like."

figure greatest JaMarcus: The epitome of spending an inordinate amount of time defining greatness.

JaMarcus Russell is one of the greatest quarterbacks ever, right?

…and classical music is particularly obsessed with it.

Well, when you only listen to the same 10 or 15 composers who all died over 100 years ago, might as well rank them between sessions of masturbating over which conductor's phrasing of Mahler 4 was ejaculatory enough.

Was that harsh? It felt harsh. Anywho...

But so often it is a debate made away from the music in question…

What do you mean “away”?

… -- in a coffee shop or a classroom, in an article or a book.

And you prefer that debate be made inside the music? Words are my tool of choice when I wish to communicate specific thoughts and ideas. Do you want me to make an argument that Beethoven's music is great with music? I’m not sure I follow.

But what role does experience play?

I’m going to guess that most of the people debating this have experienced classical music before. No?

So Mr. Smarty-pants, how do you define greatness in music?

As of late I have come to define greatness in music as any composition or song that, when listening to it, seems the best work I have ever heard.

Like I said, defining greatness is pretty much down to science these days.

When I am listening to a Beethoven Symphony, I can't imagine another that's "better."

I’m not sure you’re actually familiar with the concept of a definition.

But now that I think about it, our imaginations should be the first criterion for any good definition of the greatness of music.

Same with Chopin's nocturnes and Wagner's operas, Schubert's lieder or Radiohead's albums.

Radiohead does make the best Radiohead albums…although Muse releases pretty good Radiohead albums, too.

No wait...neither of them releases very good Radiohead albums.

But, hey, wait a minute.

What if I can’t imagine a better piece, but I feel like there must be one. Is it necessarily so that imagination is greater than feelings?

I don’t know, because I imagine that you have no idea what you’re talking about, but my gut feeling is that you’re absolutely right.

figure greatest method of transportation: I can't imagine a more seaworthy vessel.

Never mind…

[snip]

Moving along, Brahms' First Symphony was on the program (clearly the greatest symphony ever), as was his First Piano Concerto...

I am happy to report that pianist Garrick Ohlsson is human.

This was in doubt?

He missed a note in his brilliant performance of the First Piano Concerto,...

I really hoped you pointed this out to him after the concert. However, in his defense...

figure concerto: Garrick Ohlsson won't let a little thing like the greatest piano concerto ever get in the way of sweet, sweet vengeance.

…and it actually made me appreciate his amazing virtuosity all the more.

That's exactly how I feel about JaMarcus Russell.

You just had to be there.

Exactly. How else could you experience imagining this was the greatest music ever?

figure greatest present: I can't imagine a more innocent looking gift. How thoughtful.

And once again, a day-time talk show has shown us the way...

2011-04-10T14:31:00.000-07:00

It's tricky business commenting on and critiquing the work of others, and I'm speaking of our work here at the Detritus and not just the role of the critic in general. I've read a lot of reviews in the past couple years and I'm starting to wonder if I can ever be satisfied.

With that...

Music Review: Richmond Symphony Orchestra
Devorah Ben-David, Richmond Times-Dispatch, March 6, 2011

The Richmond Symphony Orchestra wowed classical music aficionados during its Masterworks performance at the Carpenter Theatre.

Well, surely this review will break the trend.

However, I’m curious why classical music aficionados were singled out here. I guess the obvious implication is that regular music aficionados and general classical music patrons were un-wowed by the performance at the Carpenter Theatre.

Intriguing, indeed.

"Dancers, Dreamers and Presidents for Orchestra," written by Haitian-American contemporary composer…

I like what I see here. New music...and one and a half sentences without the need to snark.

But yes, that contemporary music does tend to scare of those classical music novices.

…Daniel Bernard Roumain, launched the energetic opening piece.

A rough turn of phrase, to be sure, but you still have me. New music wows classical music lovers -- good news indeed!

So, can I hope for more than a one sentence review? Some in depth history or analysis? And more importantly, that this contemporary composition isn't just viewed through the lens of some gimmick, and be allowed to exist by itself as a work of art?

It was inspired by a 21-second dance shared by then-Sen. Barack Obama and Ellen DeGeneres on her TV show in 2007.

Hmmm… er. I hope this piece isn't as lame as it already sounds. Sorry, Daniel. I’m sure it’s a great piece and all (I mean, it did wow classical music aficionados), but just because it’s contemporary doesn’t make it not cheesy.

Remember, how we discuss music colors the reactions of others...and I'm not just alluding to critics. Contemporary music cannot just be another scavenger of the trash-heap of pop culture.

But, how about alleviating some of my concerns that this is just some trite gimmick about “hope” and what not?

His message is one of hope that the road to peace might be better served by dancing together than haggling over our differences.

figure misunderstood: "It's trying to bringing love! Don't let it get away! Break its legs!"

Who knew that the road to world peace went through a moderately amusing segment on a morning talk show.

I guess I shouldn't talk since I did write my Will it Float? Symphony.

And I do love when music is about all that hope-y, change-y stuff. It’s a powerful message, no doubt. One I’m not sure many composers have the courage to put out there.

The composition, which was commissioned by the Sphinx Commissioning Consortium, is fundamentally a dance piece.

Meaning people are intended to dance to it? How many dance halls employ full symphony orchestras nowadays?

It appears to include a part of everything Roumain has met in his musical life in terms of the classical and pop world.

Oh boy, a piece about world peace that bridges the divide (once again) between classical music and pop music.

I’m sorry. I love new music.

Snap out of it, Gustav.

As the three movements of the piece unveil, the element of surprise is intriguing. "Dancers" begins with a banging solo…

Is that “banging” as in awesome, or “banging” as in whacking stuff with sticks?

…for the timpani and drum kit, so reminiscent of Afro-Caribbean melodies.

I’m not sure which part that sentence is extraneous…the “so” or the comma, but we definitely need to lose one. And I think you mean rhythms and not melodies here. But, what do I know.

In "Dreamers," the contrabass section makes its dramatic entry, while another incarnation of musical vignette unfolds.

Really, is there any part of the music that doesn’t “unfold”, or isn’t “musical”?

Chordal patterns again repeat in "Presidents"…

Chordal patterns do tend to do that, from time to time.

…but quickly morph into hip-hop beats creating a crowded score.

And this too, although, I would wager with slightly less frequency.

figure presidential dignity: The Ellen Show quickly morphing into hip-hop beats with an actual presidential candidate.

Here Roumain's musical interpretation comes off as fragmented. But this may be purely intentional, as discontent ultimately breeds fragmentation in our world.

You're theorizing that his fragmented musical interpretation was intention. Wait, his music interpretation of what...hip-hop? And whose discontent are we talking about?

What we have here is a failure to communicate. Now, this seems to be an interesting analysis of the eclectic juxtapositions being made in this piece, but if you think about it for a second, I have no idea what the author is talking about. It may very well be that his fragmented musical interpretation was intentional. But, his music interpretation of what...hip-hop? And whose discontent are we talking about?

I should slow down though. For all my grousing, I do laud the author for taking the time to discuss this piece in such detail…especially when most critics would save their column inches for these next two works.

Tomasi's Concerto for Trumpet and Orchestra

Ah, the Tomasi Trumpet Concerto...I have been known to partake of this particular concerto from time to time. It is a striking piece, and as Philip Ramey writes in the liner notes to Wynton Marsalis' recording of this piece:

"Perhaps the most striking elements of this brittle yet lyric piece are the opening movement's trumpet cadenza with quiet snare-drum background and the jaunty cartoon-music finale."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

The trumpet, which dates to at least 1,500 B.C., has been a victim of musical snobbery in history.

Snobbery, eh? Do you have any particular composer in mind? Mozart was rumored to be a trumpet-ist.

But certainly not when Thomas Hooten is playing "Concerto for Trumpet" by French composer Henri Tomasi.

Wait, the trumpet players were the snobs?

The lyrical piece is neo-classic in texture, melody and rhythm and has three of the maestro's signature trademarks. The music is structured, concise and clear.

How convenient that three of Tomasi’s trademarks are completely consistent with all neo-classical music.

While some may regard this particular work as slightly brittle,…

Brittle?

Huh. I wonder who "some" might be.

…Hooten breathes life into the opening movement of the trumpet cadenza.

Cadenza = concerto?

While he appears to fatigue a bit during the cartoon-music finale, he nonetheless leaves the stage with a standing ovation.

Is it normal that only players who don’t get tired during a concerto get standing ovations?

And that's so funny that you called it a "cartoon-music finale"? I guess it didn't realize how clearly that finale sounds like cartoon music.

figure unoriginal: Hey, who's your favorite player?

Symphony No. 6 in B Minor, Opus 74, "Pathétique"

One of the great classical music composers is Pyotr Il'yich Tchaikovsky.

Are you writing a report for your high school music appreciation course? Here, let me save you some time by giving you part of a report I wrote on Tchaikovsky.

Tchaikovsky was born on May 7, 1840 and died of suicidal cholera on November 6, 1893. Although, he was Russian, Tchaikovsky was no communist as attested to by his pro-American anthem, the “1812 Overture”, written in honor of the glorious victory of America over the forces of evil (France) for a 4th of July celebration. Equally famous for his symphonic, ballet and operatic output, he strongly resented the trumpet.

And while Symphony No. 6 in B Minor was meant to be a celebration of life, he died nine days after its premiere.

How pathetic. But it’s a good thing that his death couldn’t actually rewrite the music, which should still sound like a celebration of life, right?

It begins with the somber voice of the double basses and is punctuated by the violas' mournful voice.

That’s not how I’d compose a piece celebrating life, but I’m not one of the great classical music composers either.

Listening carefully, one instinctively feels that something is haunting the composer's mind.

Aren’t the concepts of “listening carefully” and “instinctively” sort of at odds with each other?

Can I find fault with any sentence? Are all my comments in the form of questions? Never mind.

If only Tchaikovsky had called 555-2368, maybe the music wouldn’t have retroactively been rewritten. And maybe he might still be alive today.

The Richmond Symphony Orchestra does a flawless job of interpreting this agitation. All that was left in its wake was thunderous applause.

They applauded Tchaikovsky’s inner turmoil and utter demise? That seems like a bit of a jerk move don’t you think?

Anything written in A minor is bad-tempered gnashing of teeth*

2011-03-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

I know critics must hate it when we take them literally, but seriously, is there any other way to read this?

Georges Bizet’s only complete symphony was a breeze for Sitkovetsky. All he had to do was conduct,...

Is that all? Pssh, I could have done that.

figure bizet: Compositional facial hair of the week.

...and he did it well, as in the other pieces.

But the Bizet, unlike the other pieces, was a breeze...what would you say made it so easy for Sitkovetsky?

He styled the melodies just right, marked effective, brisk tempos...

Well, that sounds like it might have taken years of training, not to mention a unique aptitude to style melodies "just right". So, that's not it...

...and shaped the structure so that it was just as much fun and enjoyable as the composer’s masterpiece, “Carmen.”

He made it as much fun as Bizet's opera "Carmen"? What an incredibly odd thing to say about his symphony. But still, that doesn't sound very easy at all.

Anything written in C major is always happy and spring-like.

So very true. But, is the Bizet Symphony in C in C major...? [checks the internets]

Why, yes, it is in C major!

So, therefore no matter what Sitkovetsky did, the music would always be happy and spring-like, leaving him ample time to mark effective tempos. That Sitkovetsky is one clever SOB.

Sitkovetsky didn’t hold any of that back.

Wait, what kind of asshole would hold back C major awesomeness?

-----------------------------------------------

*Find out what emotions are for all the keys here.

Friday Quickie: Performance took the miraculousness to a new level

2011-03-11T05:05:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure there are rational explanations for most of the review that follows. But just in case, I think we need to set some ground rules. Some simple guidelines to help us get through the perfunctory introduction and description of standard works of music: 1) They aren't miracles, and 2) orchestras do more than "offer accounts" of said music, but less than rewrite the emotional content of the music.

Yes, I think that's a pretty good start.

Review: Young Spaniard leads ISO through a fine program
Jay Harvey, Indianapolis Star, March 5, 2011

A young conductor with an adventurous…

Ooh… “adventurous”. I am a fan of adventure, so consider me very excited.

…resume is on the Hilbert Circle Theatre podium this weekend, putting the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra to the test with a couple of challenging American works.

Challenging? American? Hmmm....

No worries...still excited.

But there is more than just the bracing novelty of hearing John Adams' "Lollapalooza" and Aaron Copland's "Short Symphony" to commend this program to the public's attention.

I object to the classification of either of those works as novelty. Especially the Copland…I mean it has the word symphony in the title – how much of a novelty could it be?

figure Lollapalooza Warning: Who knew Lollapalooza was written in Pakistan.

I’m pretty sure that no offense is meant to either composer (I think), but I really am not sure what to make of calling American compositions novelties.

But, that’s actually not while we’re looking in on this review…

[snip]

After the orchestra “presented a cohesive performance” of Lollapalooza…

The 1933 Copland work, composed just past the crest of his high modernist period,…

Okay, I’m not sure Copland ever had a “high” modernist period (well at least in the 20s or 30s). But whatever...

…is less calculated to provide fun for either an orchestra or its audience.

“Calculated to provide fun”? That’s an odd turn of phrase when reviewing a symphony.

figure calculated fun: Modernism at its most fun.

Are any of the Brahms or Beethoven (for example) symphonies calculated to provide fun, or do we just reserve that qualification for novelty works?

It contains some elements of the popular appeal that would soon come to the fore in major ballets such as "Appalachian Spring" and "Billy the Kid."

Yes, that’s kind of true. What exactly are those "popular" elements? And what makes up the rest of the elements in the piece? It’s post-“high modernist”, not very fun, and preceded his populist music, and...?

But playing it may tend to reflect a love of labor more than a labor of love.

Har har. That’s some good word play, but I have no idea what would make you say that. Do you have some reason to conflate his politics with this particular piece of music, or were you just looking for something topical, yet relevant to Copland to say?

If so, nicely done.

figure love of labor: Just as upset at all these fat cat teachers and their fancy 1993 Nissan Sentras as I am!

So, now that we've fully established the history of this great, yet novelty work...what kind of performance did the orchestra offer?

Despite some tentativeness in the fast outer movements, Friday's performance offered an admirable account, with some nicely pointed lyrical contrast in the second movement.

An admirable account. Excellent. This seems like a great program so far, offering us a cohesive performance, then an admirable account…what else does the ISO have to offer us?

Argentine pianist Ingrid Fliter, in a return ISO engagement, offered a pert, frolicsome account of Saint-Saens' Piano Concerto No. 2 in G minor.

Offering a frolicsome account is a nice contrast to cohesive and admirable accounts.

She gave the homage-to-Bach opening music just enough seriousness,…

Because it’s not a novelty, right?

…then quickly focused on flair and agility, with stylish support in the accompaniment. The substance of the finale is spun out to tissue-paper thinness, but Fliter rendered it all with conviction. For an encore, she treated Chopin's "Minute" Waltz to a tempo massage that had it purring.

Tempo massage? Does that mean it went faster or slower?

Did the piece have a happy ending?

"La Mer" is always a miracle,…

Oh, I know I'm going to like where this sentence is going...a miracle you say? How so?

…in that audiences love it because of its reassuring picturesqueness, despite the radical nature of Debussy's harmonic and melodic language.

Radical? Are you sure? Perhaps (and that’s a big perhaps) it was radical to the audiences around when it was first premiered, but the piece begins quite convincingly in b minor and spends most of the first movement in some variation of 5 flats.

In fact the whole piece is anchored in some tonal center.

The music does drift harmonically quite a bit at times, but radical…I think might be overstating it just a tad.

But more importantly, it's a miracle if someone likes music with "radical" harmonic and melodic languages?!

Friday's performance took the miraculousness to a new level.

This might be my favorite sentence I’ve read in a review in a long time.

So, did they perform the piece with extra radical-ness in the harmonic language?

Heras-Casado drew from the ISO an incredible suppleness of response. He isolated certain details with crystalline clarity, but the piece's momentum wasn't disturbed by anything too finicky. Tempos were flexible and related logically to one another.

See, I thank Debussy for this, and more thank the conductor more for the gentle massage.

And the performance was emotionally moving to a surprising degree.

That is a miracle.

figure my breakfast: Also a miracle.

And Yet Another Orchestra Shows Incredible Balance

2011-02-27T17:02:00.000-08:00

Another harmless review...but I'm not sure why I have to say this, but composers write the music, not the conductor, or the soloist, or the players. At a certain level of musicianship, the music isn't demonstrably more sad or powerful or jubilant. Tempos change, and articulations can vary...but these alterations are often slight. This isn't to say that the Berlin Philharmonic doesn't perform Beethoven 5th Symphony better than the Albuquerque Community Orchestra...they most certainly do. But the music...it's just as fateful in the beginning, and as triumphantly C major at the end. And it's been that way for 200 years.

So there.

Young pianist Yuja Wang conquers Rachmaninoff in terrific Oregon Symphony concert – orchestra at the top of its game
James Bash, OregonMusicNews.com, February 7, 2011

Ah, good, a sports cliche...now I know this will be thoughtful review.

Guest artist Yuja Wang brought her A game…

I’m going to admit it up front, that this I’m probably only bringing my C+ game to this critique.

But of course, you should still read on…

…to the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall on Saturday evening (February 5) at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall…

They have an Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall now? That’s convenient.

…and created an impressive debut with the Oregon Symphony in her performance of Sergei Rachmaninoff’s Third Piano Concerto.

If only print newspapers had editors as attentive and fastidious as online editors…oh, wait.

Wang played this demanding work with incredible precision and artistic panache.

Panache is good. Precision…meh.

Her opening statement showed right away that she had power and finesse,…

Convenient then that Rachmaninoff put some powerful, yet finesseable music right up front.

…but…

My favorite part about the "but" construction in most of these reviews is the unnecessary juxtaposition of two usually positive things.

She was pretty but smart too.

….she excelled in creating the lush, rhapsodic atmosphere with a singing tone.

Her performance sounds dreamy…do you have a favorite part?

One of the most memorable passages…

Yeah...

…came in the second movement when she evoked a series of cascading waterfalls that opened onto a high plateau with an expansive vista.

She did what now? She evoked a waterfall? On a high plateau? With an expansive vista?!

Also, you said 'she'? Did the music not naturally evoke this image? If I understand you correctly, you are suggesting that her interpretation added waterfalls to the music?

She drew you a picture, right?

Maybe she could’ve lingered a little more here or there,…

‘Here’ or ‘there’? Are these real places, or are you making a sweeping generalization about the performance and hoping we just wouldn't care?

…but she is only 23 years old, and I’m sure that her interpretation will change in the future.

You're right. 23 year-olds don't linger as long as they should.

In support of Wang’s performance, the orchestra brought its A game as well.

So, we’re not grading on a curve then?

Any chance there’ll be extra credit on this concert?

figure bringing it: Joey Chestnut brought his A game when he downed 68 hot dogs and buns at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

The series of duets in the first movement (flute, oboe, clarinet, horn, and bassoon)…

Yes, duets. Can I just pick any two instruments from the list above for the duet? Or were there duets of every possible combination (not permutations, since order does not matter)? Meaning there were…(remembering 11th grade pre-calculus)…

figure combinations: How the fuck do you solve an equation with no numbers?!

10 duets!? That’s kind of a lot…at least for just the first movement.

… had balance and grace.

Can you really have grace without balance? Think about it.

At one point in the second movement, the orchestra snuck in…

Ooh. Nice imagery. I wonder how they snuck in.

…as if they were all wearing really thick socks.

Well, that is an effective way of sneaking. And I’m assuming they took their shoes off first, because, you know, that would totally negate the benefits of really thick socks.

figure snuck in: Hey! Wait a minute...how did all you people get on this train?

The then…

“The then”...

…played in a way that made a very gradual crescendo that showed incredible control.

Really? You must be shitting me.

And they did this in the second movement?!

The brass flared impressively in the third movement when the music went off to the races,…

Dog or horse races? There is a difference you know.

Oh, or were they people races? If so, did the music also take in the high jump and javelin competitions as well?

Or...and I dare to ask...were they...?

figure man vs beast: Stupid giraffe.

…and the overall effect at the end of the piece was jubilation from all corners of the nearly sold-out hall.

Four for four, huh? And what about the center of the auditorium, was there jubilation there too?

Wang responded with an encore, Rachmaninoff Vocalise (Op.34 n. 14).

No way an encore was preplanned. Way to go audience, your jubilation spontaneously created an encore.

The orchestra opened the concert with a superb performance of Johannes Brahms’ Tragic Overture. Again, the orchestra demonstrated incredible balance and articulate phrasing.

I’m just wondering to myself if balance is the sort of thing that I could ever describe as “incredible”.

Two of the horns and principal bass trombonist Charles Reneau made the sound magically decay during an exposed section,…

Magically? Did you expect the sound to extend forever?

…and the lower strings marvelously created a wistful mood towards the end of the piece.

A wistful mood not indicated in the score?

Under the direction of Kalmar, this piece became a real gem.

Otherwise it’s a pile of shit.

The orchestra also made a very strong case for Carl Nielsen’s rarely heard Symphony No. 6, aka the Sinfonia semplice.

A “strong case”? What an incredibly odd thing to say.

Are the Brahms and Nielsen generally accepted as crappy pieces of works, and the Oregon Symphony disagrees, bravely standing in direct opposition to common wisdom?

The music in this piece seemed to travel in numerous directions in a fascinating way.

I'll bet it was hard to keep track of all the places you were going.

figure traveling in numerous directions: A little free advice from Deliverance Unto The Lord, Inc.

In the first movement alone, the orchestra went from suspenseful super quiet state to an agitated, fast and loud one before settling into a soothing ending.

Wow. Sounds like some super calls from the orchestra. Why Nielsen composed that first movement without a soothing ending is beyond me.

The second movement had an eclectic, disjointed feel (in his introduction, Kalmar told the audience to picture a group of children waking up from a nap)…

Yes…okay. Children waking from a nap…I’m thinking some portamento in the strings…no, glissandi in the trombones!

In fact, no strings at all…for a short…no, extended period.

…that was punctuated here and there by glissandos from principal trombonist Aaron LaVere, and for an extended period only the woodwinds, brass, and percussion played.

Thought so.

The strings got things going in the third movement with tight ensemble playing.

What “things” specifically did they get going?

After principal flutist Rose Lombardo played a beautiful solo, the mood of the music became strident before downshifting to a solemn and slow close.

With all those "things going", I bet it was a quite a relief when the music downshifted.

The fourth movement featured a waltz that the cellos and double basses usurped for a while until other themes developed and were exchanged seamlessly between sections.

You might say that the cellos and basses usurped that melody like Ahaz usurped the throne of Judah from his father Jotham, if I might be allowed a bit of biblical humor.

Gordon Rencher played a charming passage on the xylophone before the violins launched into a series of skipping phrases.

Where are you going with this? Are you under the impression that there are people for whom charming passages and skipping phrases might make them come to the concert? Or do just prefer to give anecdotal snippets instead of any substantive review?

The piece ended with the bassoons getting the last word, and that accented the overall whimsical nature of the piece.

Oh, those bassoons – can they not be whimsical?

I hope that the orchestra plays some more Nielsen in the near future.

Me too. But you’re not assuming that all of Nielsen’s music features whimsical bassoons, authoritarian lower strings, and manic mood changes, are you?

[Note to readers: I added the word "magically" to this review -- in a vain attempt to describe the decayed sound that Charles Reneau made.]

Well, why don’t you at least try, because, I’m not sure magical even begins to add to our understanding of how his decay might have differed from your standard decaying sound.

Mozart the Certain

2011-02-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

If titles could cry, this one would be committing suicide by drowning itself in its own tears in a small, cold, windowless greenroom of the Vancouver Opera House.

What can Mozart teach us about leadership?

Brad Frenette

Vancouver Sun, Community of Interest Blog

Now, because the title is perhaps one of the most ridiculous I’ve ever encountered, I feel I need to provide a little background, so we don’t get the wrong idea. First, we should note that Brad Frenette is the general director of the Vancouver Opera, so already there’s a lack of journalistic standards and, perhaps, a conflict of interest. And second, the Sun’s Community of Interest blog describes its mission as “[…] featuring the opinions of tastemakers, community advocates and thought leaders from across Vancouver, Canada and the world […],” which means, if the title is any indication, that Brad is more of a tastemaker rather than thought leader. I guess, the wrong idea is already the correct one.

[whew]

Alright, let’s dig in.

So, what exactly can Mozart teach us about leadership? [tongue in cheek] Not that I expect an answer.

There are many reasons why I am passionate about opera:

That’s nice. Why don’t you list your reasons? Because, you know, they won’t be generic or anything.

“Okay,” he says.

…beautiful, emotional and inspiring music; literate, poetic language; grand and glorious productions on stages filled with singers, choristers and dancers; and very often, a link with important people and events in the past.

So often—but not all the time, mind you—there’s a link (i.e., ?) with things in (of?) the past.

Believe it or not, I, too, am passionate about the past. Like, it happened and stuff.

But another reason I am passionate about opera is the relevance it has for our lives today.

Because the general director of the Vancouver Opera is telling me that opera is relevant today, I should believe him. After all, he’d have no incentive to tell me otherwise, right?

Fine. How is it relevant? Does it have something to do with Mozart teaching us about leadership?

[Ha ha ha! I still can’t get over the title. It’s just wrong for so many reasons. Anyway…]

Opera is certainly not alone among the arts in this ability to speak to us about our own times, but it is the art form I know best and about which I can speak with certainty.

There’s certainly a lot of certainty going on here. Certainly, when I encounter so much certainty, I am surely reminded, with certainty, of that without-a-doubt inspiring quip by the most famous of Jedi: “Only certain Sith Lords deal in irrefutable absolutes.”

And after a bit about how the opera company works hard to help their audience appreciate its 21^st century relevancy, despite its “powdered wigs and foreign languages,” this:

But here I believe is the wonderful secret of my art form: opera is about the big things, the important emotions of all of us humans….and these “big things” and large emotions don’t change from year to year, decade to decade, or even century to century.

Rarely, these days do I encounter such advocacy of classical-era (enlightenment) thinking. Maybe I should go bleed myself to alleviate the headache this is causing me.

Sometimes these sweeping themes…

That is, large emotions that never change.

Sometimes these sweeping themes are rather personal: love and betrayal; estrangement; the distances created between families and friends and the bridges to span those distances.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Me! Pick me!

Yes, Empiricus?

That means, sometimes the sweeping themes, which are large emotions that never change, are also societal.

Very good, Empiricus.

Sometimes the big ideas are societal: when we last produced Aida, we investigated the plight of “Women in War” with Lloyd Axworthy, Ruth Segal and others;

Now pick me! Pick Me!

Yes, Brad?

Sometimes, self-promotion is all about leadership and Mozart taught me that.

Wrong, Brad.

…when we staged Macbeth our panelists examined “Power and its Abuse;”

You’re still doing it wrong, Brad. You’re not carrying the four. And you multiplied the denominator only afterwards. See what you did wrong, there?

…in 2002, during the opera Of Mice and Men important BC artists discussed the “Role of the Arts in Effecting Social Change.”

Nevermind, Brad. Just go to recess.

Our current offering, Mozart’s La Clemenza di Tito, is about one important thing:

Well, if the above was of any help, I would guess that Tito is about leadership, which is one large emotion. [cough]

But will it ever be explained? Tune in tomorrow for all the answers or not.

[tomorrow]

Meanwhile, back at the Detritus Towers…

Our current offering, Mozart’s La Clemenza di Tito, is about one important thing: what qualities do we want in those who lead us?

Finally! Finally something refers to the title, that absurd, absurd title. Maybe now we’ll know the answer to the big question: how can Mozart teach us about leadership?

Mozart’s gorgeous and spirited music, the intriguing scenery and stellar singing are all in the service of this big idea [i.e., one large, never-changing emotion].

Yeah, yeah. But how is it that those things teach us about leadership?

Is ruling with compassion a better idea than ruling with vengeance?

Let’s ask Mozart!

Is the good of the people more important than the reputation of the leader? Does forgiveness in a leader show strength or betray weakness?

Sounds more like Mozart is asking the questions, rather than answering them.

Mozart’s opera inspired us to bring together a first-class panel last week at the Vancouver Public Library to discuss this notion of effective and compassionate leadership.

What can Mozart teach us about leadership?

Columnist Gary Mason, UBC professor Michael Byers, Tsawwassen First Nations Chief Kim Baird, Superintendent of West Vancouver schools Chris Kennedy, and Brenda Eaton, Chair of BC Housing Management Commission, discussed with one another and the audience their beliefs concerning leadership.

Hello?! What can Mozart teach us about leadership?

Mason spoke of VANOC CEO John Furlong’s exercise in nation building which was built in part on the biggest Olympics torch relay in history…

!!!

…involving Canadians across this land, as well as convincing the powers-that-be to invest in the performance of our athletes, which paid off handsomely and helped unite the country in its pride and patriotism.

That doesn't have anything to do with Mozart, does it?

Michael Byers noted that after his long prison sentence and eventual rise to the South African presidency, Nelson Mandela rejected revenge as a tool of governance and instead focused on “truth and reconciliation” and sought to heal his country by his ferocious support of the Springbok Rugby team as it grew to be the World Cup winner, as portrayed in the film Invictus.

Ah, yes, Invictus. Wait, what?!

Isn’t Mozart supposed to teach us about leadership?

Qualities of leadership:

Just great. Another fucking list.

Qualities of leadership: what the past can tell us about, warn us about, prod us to think about.

Forget grammar, that doesn’t even make the slightest syntactical sense! And if those were the conclusions of the panel...well, "first-class" and "thought leaders" might be a tad exaggerated.

What great art – whether opera, symphonic music, great theatre or inspired painting – can help us to understand about our own lives and our own times:

Will our author give us another list, or is he just feigning? Vote now.

…isn’t that a timely and relevant conversation [...]?

Sorry, you clearly voted incorrectly. Please try new, more certain, leadership. Definitely delete. Obviously not Mozart. Patently an error. Irrefutably 404. Indubitably.

Audiences Pleased By Audience-Pleasing Music

2011-01-24T12:28:00.000-08:00

Recently, the San Antonio Symphony introduced a new music director. Let's check in and see how things are doing so far.

FIRST TAKE: So this is how it is going to be with new Music Director Lang-Lessing — …

…let’s say…yes?

…programs of bold, vivid, purpose-driven and audience-pleasing music.

I know, depressing prospect isn’t it.

figure purpose-driven: Rick Warren knows why I'm here on Earth. I'm guessing to help get more tax cuts for rich people. Really, is there any other purpose in life?

Though, it does beg the question what “purpose-driven” music is exactly.

It is one thing to schedule such music,…

Yes, that is “one thing”.

But, is it difficult to schedule programs of audience-pleasing music? In my experience, it takes some real cojones to schedule music that isn’t audience-pleasing.

…but another matter to deliver it with authentic, crisp precision and emotion like Lang-Lessing did in his first regular subscription concert.

Wow, sounds like you guys are really lucky getting the authentic performances of audience-pleasing music while all the rest of us suckers are stuck with disingenuous concerts of meandering, inexact music.

So what was this music so in need of some authentic crispness?

The two Franz Liszt tone poems, “Mazzepa” and “Les Préludes,” sizzled with electricity at every turn of their musical stories.

You guys got bold, vivid and authentic versions of the Liszt tone poems?! I’m so freaking jealous!

But I thought you mentioned something about “audience-pleasing”?

The performance of Antonin Dvorák’s Symphony No. 9, “From the New World,”…

Ah.

…nailed every emotion from tender nostalgia and spirituality to triumph.

Every emotion? Really? Now, I know that you must be exaggerating.

Everyone knows that it’s not humanly possible to nail every emotion in the New World Symphony.

figure care bears: Also nailed every emotion, and learned a valuable lesson at the end of each episode too!

Sure, most orchestras get the nostalgia and triumph. But what about the submissive contempt of the Poco sostenuto in the third movement? Most orchestras cop out with no more than amenable condescension.

OF NOTE: The solo star in the Dvorák symphony was English horn player Stephanie Shapiro, who performed the “Going Home” theme...

Seriously, people, the spiritual is based on Dvorak’s theme, not the other way around.

…performed the “Going Home” theme as if singing in a human voice.

See, I like my English horn sounding like an English horn. I guess I’m just funny that way.

Lang-Lessing extended the concert with a sparkling encore, leading the orchestra in one of the Slavonic Dances from Dvorák’s Opus 46.

Truly purpose-driven...or was that audience-pleasing?

And, in other news:

Citing "budget constraints" but no red ink, Vallejo Symphony leaders have canceled the second half of the critically acclaimed orchestra's four-concert season and promised "rebuilding" on firmer financial footing in the months to come.

That’s unfortunate. What happened?

[T]he orchestra's board of directors on Jan. 13 voted to "cease operations for the balance of the season," a decision that came just days after the symphony's recent concert featuring several pieces of new contemporary music.

Oh. I see.

----------------------------------------

And, thank you to our loyal readers for your patience. We apologize for the lack of updates in the recent months, and hope to post more often soon. Who knew that newborns needed so much attention?

A New Year Quickie - Emphasis on structure robs music of forward pulse...Again!

2011-01-01T15:19:00.000-08:00

I am becoming more and more convinced that some critics just don't read their reviews before they publish them. Seriously, I'm pretty sure what follows doesn't actually mean anything.

Although, when you take into consideration current day practices of music criticism...

NY String Orchestra @ Carnegie Hall
Eugene Chan, Queens Examiner, Dec. 31, 2010

Current day performance practice of Beethoven symphonies...

Okay, let me stop here and add that Eugene never once tell us which symphony the orchestra is playing. I guess I should be glad that he mentioned it was by Beethoven, because really, do you need to know anything else?

However, I'm more interested in learning about current day performance practices of Beethoven symphonies...

figure current day performance practices: Beethoven as performed by my iPhone.

It's all yours, Eugene.

Current day performance practice of Beethoven symphonies often emphasize fleet of tempo and attack.

A couple of things, and I hate to be picky, but your subject and verb really should agree. Also, I think you mean fleetness (a noun), since it's sort of difficult to emphasize an adjective in this context -- or you have a superfluous "of" before tempo. And, I'm not quite sure what a fleet attack in music is.

figure fleet: A clever play on words?

But never mind, we're learning something here.

Laredo's [the conductor] interpretation was slower and emphasized string playing that was plush in texture.

Plush? The string playing was "a fabric, as of silk, cotton, or wool, whose pile is more than 1/8 inch (0.3 cm) high"? Plus, isn't "in texture" sort of redundant?

Of course, we kid. Okay, his interpretation of the unnamed symphony was slower than you're used to, and featured a richer string sound. Sure, why not.

An audience member could often hear Beethoven's orchestration,...

...and the rest of the time?

...which sometimes was illuminating--...

Illuminating is good. So what was illuminated by the sometimes heard orchestration (in this version that was slower and had sumptuous strings)?

...for example about a minute into the fourth movement the interplay between first violins, violas and second violins.

Good call. That is totally an awesome moment. And please, don't waste your time explaining further, because we all know exactly where you're talking about in this unnamed Beethoven symphony.

At other times the emphasis on structure robbed the music of its forward pulse.

Precisely. If only Beethoven had... . What's that again?

[Rereads sentence] Okay?

figure confused?: Just try and figure out my logic.

"The emphasis on structure" -- I know what structure is, although I'm not quite sure how a performance emphasizes it. Extra loud accents when themes begin and end?

"...robbed the music of its forward pulse." -- So you're saying that music slowed down? Or is this a metaphorical pulse, as in the music lost your attention.

Fuck me, this isn't clear at all.

Maybe your conclusion will help clarify things.

However, after an entire concert of chamber-like balances...

Uh-huh. Symphonic music is always so inappropriately balanced?

...and volume restraint,...

Yes, the orchestra was too quiet, until...

...Laredo removed the reins off the orchestra at the very end.

I'm a big fan of the orchestra is a horse metaphor. Really, it's just such a contemporary, accurate comparison.

figure horse: See, a horse isn't a metaphor, it's a piece of art by Maurizio Cattelan.

The symphony closed with crackling horns and sizzling strings as the music hurtled to its close.

Well, that certainly cleared everything up.

After a slow performance that made that one section with the violins and violas audible, but robbed the forward pulse through emphasis on structure, the conductor flung the music to its close on a metaphorical horse.

Praise to the principal flute Adrienne Kantor for her graceful adornment in the slow movement of the Brahms Double and the rapid fluttering passage work in the finale of the Beethoven.

Yes, praise be to Adrienne.

Mozart's Music Receives Zesty Performance -- It's About Damn Time

2010-12-13T09:19:00.000-08:00

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times...let's leave musicology to the professionals. Professionals like Paul Hyde of the Greenville News.

Review: Mozart's personality shines through in Greenville Symphony Chamber Orchestra concert
Paul Hyde, GreenvilleOnline.com (The Greenville News), November 20, 2010

Mozart, it’s often said, kept his personal emotions out of his musical works.

Really? I've never heard this before.

But you know, his music did always strike me as strangely formulaic... 4 bars--half cadence, another 4 bars--authentic cadence. Hard to cram emotion (especially personal ones) into that.

Good call.

figure personal emotion: If Mozart really wanted to add emotion to his music, he really should have just used emoticons like a normal person.

Maintaining an Olympian detachment, Mozart the classicist never revealed his inner self as did many a Romantic composer, Tchaikovsky most notably.

Money troubles don't rival the creative gold-standard of repressed homosexuality.

But clearly the difference between the two couldn't be the increased used of chromaticism, larger, more opulent orchestrations, and the use of superliminal narratives.

And if the Detritus has taught me anything, it's that with this kind of set up surely something will challenge this more than well-established premise (I mean, it is printed in a newspaper so it must be true).

Yet Friday night’s all-Mozart concert by the Greenville Symphony Chamber Orchestra seemed to belie that notion.

Ah, I see. Until now, it had been the performers (which have included the New York Philharmonic, the Berlin Philharmonic, and musicians who actually knew Mozart) who failed to decipher Mozart's hidden message of personal emotion deep inside his music...that is, until the Greenville Symphony took a crack at the task.

The works had a strongly autobiographical flavor.

Who knew? I'm very excited to discover what deep meaning has been previously unheard in these mystery Mozart works.

A listener could sense the man behind the music.

This is very exciting.

figure man behind the music: Why, the masons were responsible for the economic collapse, behind the JFK assassination, faked the moon-landing, and (from what I've read) are made up of humoid reptilians who run the world by replacing world leaders.

Take, for instance,...

Ooh. A "for instance". I guess an example would be nice. But really, Paul, we would have taken your word for it.

...the first piece on the concert, which took place at the Peace Center’s Gunter Auditorium.

Is the location important our cryptographic discovery, or were you just throwing that in to satisfy those pesky 5 w's?

Mozart wrote the three-movement Symphony No. 27 when he was only 17 years old.

Excellent. We'll start with insights into the mind of the young genius. Just think of how different he must have felt, an isolated genius still under the shadow of his famous father and constantly performing in the courts of royalty. Nope, not just your typical youth full of hope and gumption.

The sprightly work is clearly the work of a young man, a little superficial...

A little superficial...wait, the young man or the work?

...but full of youthful hope and gumption.

This is quite the penetrating analysis. I'm not sure how you were able to ascertain these kinds of insights. I mean, hearing an upbeat, major mode symphony primarily in triple meter written by a teenager...how ever could you discern this image of a young man full of hope?

But never mind, this was the clearly the product of the playing by the Greenville Symphony.

What kind of account did they offer?

Conductor Edvard Tchivzhel and the orchestra offered a spirited account of the appealing symphony.

You'd have to think that a performance that yielded answers to 237-year old mysteries would have to be at least a "spirited" account, if not an effervescent one.

Likewise, “A Musical Joke” spotlighted the playful adult Mozart in full-throated guffaw, parodying some of the inept composers of his day.

See now, I knew about this one.

figure musical joke: Har har har.

A listener got a vivid sense of Mozart the notorious prankster in this odd but amusing work, with its ditsy themes, meandering phrases and intentional wrong notes.

figure another musical joke: I'm laughing on the inside.

A vivid sense of a notorious prankster?

I guess there's no arguing with how significant an insight this is into the hidden personal emotions of Mozart. He was young, and had a sense of humor...breakthroughs for sure, but there must be more.

I mean, these first two works are obscure Mozart, what about his greatest hits?

In the second half of the concert, the Overture to “The Marriage of Figaro”...

Interesting. This is indeed full-on super-famous Mozart. I wonder what personal emotions Mozart managed to squirrel away in a piece about meant to precede and introduce a fictional story.

...showed a less antic but more effervescent side of the composer.

I see. So, it was Mozart's personal effervescence that made this piece what it is, and not the fact that he stole the opening melody from the combination to Willy Wonka's musical lock. At least that's what I've always taken from this work...Mozart's compulsive kleptomania.

Most people don't realize that the Haffner Symphony was really written as part of plea deal with the good people at Haffner's Discount Pantaloons and Wig Shoppe.

Tchivzhel and the orchestra presented a zesty reading of the piece.

The performances were spirited and zesty, just like my favorite salad dressing. And on such a historic evening...

figure zesty: "A spirited mixture of garlic, onion, sweet red bell pepper, carrots and Italian spices sure to help you grill like a gourmet."

Throughout this annual all-Mozart concert, Tchivzhel elicited crisp, clear-textured playing from the orchestra’s musicians.

Crisp, too?! This must have been one incredibly tasty salad...er, concert.

Closing the program was a familiar late work, the Symphony No. 40, a minor-key composition that has suggested to many listeners Mozart’s bleak state of mind at a time of depression and financial difficulties.

Good point. With also his highfalutin musicology, some music fundamentals could help reveal some important truths as well. And in case any of you have forgotten the basic rule of all music composition...minor-key equals sad and major-key equals happy. Really, all you'll ever need to know about music, at least in my experience.

figure sad mozart: Mozart composing a piece of somber, but not quite woebegone, music.

Though, I wonder which part of the 40th symphony specifically suggested financial difficulties?

Personally, I think it must have been the 11-tone row used in the powerful development of the 4th movement. The decentralized key center clearly represented his general economic malaise, in which the 11 used tones represented everyone getting their money, with the 12th pitch, being Mozart, getting none. Brilliant.

And for you to have picked this up simply from a zesty performance. Bravo, sir!

Tchivzhel emphasized the work’s restless, turbulent spirit. The work ends on a note of darkness and irresolution,...

Yes, that 8-bar dominant pedal into strong beat tonic triads really does leave you feeling uneasy.

...as if it had much more to say — a perfect symbol of the composer himself.

Is that really symbol? Maybe more of a metaphor, wouldn't you say?

Whatever.

A mere three years after writing the Symphony No. 40, Mozart would be dead, probably of acute rheumatic fever,...

Is this a particularly important point, or were you just tossing this in for...I don't know, let's say, to show that you read Mozart's wiki page before you wrote this article.

...two months short of his 36th birthday.

Ah, so in addition to the 40th symphony revealing Mozart's personal emotions, it also foretold events to come?

A sad, untimely death it was for the composer, to be sure,...

Because there are those who would doubt this?

...but what a grand and poignant life’s legacy he left behind, as the Greenville Symphony Chamber Orchestra’s annual all-Mozart concerts graciously remind us.

Yes, but the point was about the personal emotions the symphony discovered embedded in pieces previously thought to be cold and barren.

Happy Birthday Elliott! Again. Ugh.

2010-12-10T10:41:00.000-08:00

Another smattering of birthday celebrations; a few newly inked scores; and yet another chance for our critic brethren to reflect upon the miraculous music and career of one of the world’s most vital centenarian composers.

New Yorker Elliott Carter’s 102nd birthday a perfect excuse to venture into his complex world
John Teruads
Toronto Star, A Sound Mind, Classical Music Blog

…with a title that says, “Eh, well, he’s 102; that’s something, at least.”

As the title may suggest, this little puff piece, doesn’t…what’s the word? Puff.

New Music Concerts was not able to get Elliott Carter to Toronto for tonight's celebration of his 102nd birthday at the Isabel Bader Theatre (the actual birthday is tomorrow).

Downer. “Now that’s a concert I want to go to!”

It's not just by virtue of longevity that Carter has become known as a connoisseur's composer.

For those who may be new to the DR, “connoisseur’s composer” means no audience, often for a reason. And what that has to do with longevity, which is a virtue according to our author, I have no clue.

Long ago,

In a galaxy quite removed from today’s schmaltzy nostalgia for tonality…

Long ago, when the art music world was in the thrall of atonal composition, Carter (like his French counterpart, Olivier Messiaen) developed his very own musical grammar.

And all by himself!

Figure 1: Who’s a big boy? Who’s a big boy? You are!

I'm oversimplifying…

No shit. Maybe you should mention that these guys were also atonalists.

…but his music starts with a layering of diverse rhythms.

First of all, “diverse rhythms.” Are you saying that he used both eighth notes and sixteenth notes? Or that the rhythms are more complex than that? Didn’t he exploit metric modulation with some notoriety in the 40s?

Second, I learned metric modulation in third grade. So…

For his sound palette, Carter assembled a catalogue of (unusual) chords…

…based on intervallic content, as in atonal set-theory, which is perfectly adaptable to serialization, which he did.

…Carter assembled a catalogue of (unusual) chords, not a set of tone rows, as his serialist peers would usw [sic].

Serialism is dead, therefore, Elliott Carter is not a serialist, right?

The results are no easier to grasp at first hearing.

His own musical grammar + diverse rhythms + unusual chords = the results. Fucking spot on, John!

Like a lot of expressionist visual art, Carter's music rewards multiple visits and analytical listening.

Okay, I am about to link to Wikipedia, which is something I usually hesitate to do, because…

Well, it’s like this: while there are some awesome-smart people in this world, if I were ever to be charged with, say, murder, I would do everything in my abilities to avoid a trial and, thus, avoid being judged by my peers. Got it?

In this case, however, I’m going to link to the Wikipedia article on Expressionism, because it took me nearly three seconds to find it, which only shows how little research it took to find something to the contrary (it’s also cited):

[Expressionism’s] typical trait is to present the world in an utterly subjective perspective, radically distorting it for emotional effect, to evoke moods or ideas.

Ahem. Either John doesn’t know what expressionism is about or Elliott is getting it wrong. I’ll leave it to you, dear reader, to judge for yourself.

Hold on a minute! This is a concert puff piece, right? So why should I go, again?

The Isabel Bader Theatre is normally a horrible place to hear classical music because of its dry-as-dust acoustics.

But, for Carter’s music…?

Figure 2 (courtesy of Opera Chic): Happy Birthday Mr. Carter!

Thanksgiving, Detritus Style

2010-11-24T13:48:00.000-08:00

Nearing the end of our third year bringing you the finest meta-music journalism the profession has ever seen and having some spare time from the rigors of academic life, I’d like to take this opportunity to talk about something a little different. I’d like to take you on a tour, a very magical and perhaps mysterious tour—a brief look into the world of The Detritus Review.

For some time, the board of directors had entertained the possibility of leading guided tours through the halls and offices of the Detritus Tower, where all the (now classic) musical shenanigans sprout from the ether and bud into bulbous bundles of blogosphere brilliance. However, even The Detritus Review is not immune to the collective ill fortunes of capitalist speculation and, thus, that plan was scrapped.

But, in its conception, it was glorious. There were to be two guided tours each workday, lead by none other than the magnificent Gustav himself. He would have taken the tour groups, first, through the Great Hall, which currently serves as the main library and contains some of the most rare and curious volumes of forgotten cultural lore. This was to be followed by a brief stop to my cubicle or to Sator Arepo’s corner office to witness the feeding of his caged gorilla named Bernard. Also, there would have been a stop to the luxurious conference room, which we lovingly call “The Con,” after Star Trek. Here, the tour group would have been invited to watch a brief video history of the DR and be treated to an endless supply of Jolt and Doritos. And if that wasn’t enough, the tour would end with a stop by the newly added gift store, where you would have had the opportunity to purchase one of our signature line of poker visors! (My personal favorite: “I’m a Detritus Fish”)

Alas, any prospect that a tour of such grandeur takes place is now dead. Yet, I hope to fill some of your voyeuristic needs by inviting you to follow along with my thought process, step by step, beginning to end, while I search for and deconstruct an odorous pile of words, the end result of which will eventually find its way onto the front page.

How’s that sound? Great! Glad to have you on board. Let’s get cracking!

-

There are obviously many facets to the production of our posts, all with a degree of purpose and, hopefully, integrity. But before anything can be done, there are certain ground rules to which we must adhere.

Here is a brief description of just one of the criteria and how we come to negotiate it. For the most part, the articles we chose are found online. (I like to think we save trees from further embarrassment) This brings up several questions. First, does the source maintain journalistic standards or, at least, does it say it tries to? And, second, is the source aiming for profit? If yes to both, we feel we have the obligation to criticize it; this obviously means that newspapers will be our main sources. But if the answer to one or more of those questions is negative, ~~I will consult the I-Ching~~ chances are we won’t touch it with a ten-foot Polish person. Blogs, in the traditional sense, i.e. those not attached to newspapers, are generally off-limits. So ACD, consider yourself mostly-lucky.

There are certainly other things we think about before we deconstruct a music review, but I won’t bore you too much longer. Just one more thing: unfortunately, many of these ground rules were discovered after initial dissemination. We have since eliminated these faults, but would like to emphasize that apples are also vegetables, depending on how you look at them.

Okay, so you have a taste for where we begin. Now, let’s find an article and rip it apart. I have many of the major newspapers bookmarked, but my favorite way to go about finding an article is to take a random walk through a forest of armpit hair. The critics who write for major newspapers usually do a good enough job, so a little grunt work is often needed. I usually start by hopping over to onlinenewspapers.com, which is simply a directory of online newspapers, big and small, especially the small ones. And so I click on a random newspaper, like the Arkansas Times, where I found this:

Arkansas Symphony Orchestra’s ‘New World’
By Edward Wooten

Scanning…scanning…

Ah, the symphony has a new director. “How ‘bout that?,” I think to myself.

It was apparent even before the concert began that a new era was at hand.

Okay. Yeah. But I can’t really work with it, unless…

A more energetic setting of the National Anthem also signaled the arrival of a new era.

Hmm. Can I twist this to make fun of the National Anthem? Can I make fun of Arkansas-ionians? Is that even a word? Can I use that as an in? Ooh! I wonder if I can make fun of National Anthem connoisseurship?

Maybe I should wait a bit longer to make fun of this. Let’s read a little more, first.

([The director’s] predecessor had used the hymn-like arrangement first used at the Greek Olympics.)

Yeah! See, this can be funny stuff. I don’t know if he means that the ancient Greeks used the national anthem or if it was performed at the recent Olympics in Greece. Plus, hymn-like tunes are so yesterday, right? I mean, he’s insinuating that more energy is required to reinforce, or maybe reinvigorate, patriotism, or that the National Anthem is boring.

See, these are things that go through my mind as I read what may turn out to be a decent article. However, I usually require more substance than that, which was simply some awkward wording. Let’s see if there’s anything else.

The Bernstein was vigorously performed[…]

Well, maybe this whole “vigor’ thing can serve as a thread for this post? I mean, if you think about it, what our reviewer is responding to is the smoke and mirrors of fast and loud. Let’s keep this in mind, shall we?

The highlight of the program, however, was the Dvorak [“The New World”].

Okay. The meat and apples of the concert. This part usually contains some good DR fodder.

The significant themes and motifs in every section stood out.

Heh. That’s a limp thing to say. I guess it could be worth mentioning as an aside. What else can we use for our meta-review?

[The director] conducted the familiar second movement up-tempo just enough to eliminate the dirge-like performance it often gets[…]

Well, there we go! For some reason our author just likes fast. Maybe we can do a NASCAR joke or two (probably at the beginning). I’m sure this material would make a fine DR meta-review. Don’t you think?

The orchestra played throughout with the raw vigor that the piece demands.

More cushion for the pushin’! I think we’ve stumbled across the right article.

Sometimes it happens this quickly, sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t want to give you the impression that we here at the Detritus Review don’t do any work or research; but sometimes fate intervenes and hands us a pile of words that begs for the royal treatment.

(It is a "ninth symphony," after all.)

Oh, this is just a long, fantastic purple cherry on top! How lucky are we?! How could we even hope to get through a review of a symphony concert without the slightest reference to Beethoven even though Beethoven wasn’t on the program? Beautiful. Simply beautiful; and, yet, stereotypical of clunky music journalism.

-

Alright, guys. We have an article, a thread, and even some material. So, now it’s my job to put all this into some sort of coherent narrative and to flesh out the jokes with a bit more precision. Once that is done, we can be a little creative and spice it up with some links and silly pictures, which may or may not have anything to do with the review.

I like to start this phase by coming up with a title that…
-

Friday Quickie: The Beginning is the End

2010-11-18T23:40:00.000-08:00

Well, Gustav (and Mrs. Gustav and new! baby Gustav) are moving across the country; Empiricus is mired in grading undergraduate theory exercises (heh).

So I guess it's up to me...suckers.

-----

Sometimes things are over before they even get started. And I'm not even thinking about titles. (For once.)

Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra Review: A palpable connection to Mendelssohn and Beethoven
Ronni Reich, The Star-Ledger (nj.com), 2/26/2010

With more than 250 years of music-making to its legacy, it is no surprise that the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra brings with it a real, unshakable sense of history.

250 is, indeed, a lot of years for a legacy...to have...to...it.

Er. With?

SPCO reinvents Bach with a barn-dance vibe
Rob Hubbard, Twin Cities Pioneer Press, 11/18/2010

Have you ever gone to a classical concert where a hoedown broke out?

I've been to classical concerts in lots of places. It's totally conceivable that a hoedown has broken out in one or more of them at some point (Copland notwithstanding).

Review: Symphony's 'Requiem Mass" reveals plenty
Bruce Miller, Sioux City Journal, 11/14/2010

With Charles Ives' “The Unanswered Question,” [conductor Ryan] Haskins played with lighting, dabbled with educating and teased with staging.

That's a lot of with. I like the parallel construction and everything, but the first with doesn't do what it's trying to do. If only we had perfectly good English prepositions such as in or during! Ah, but that's a little nit-picky. At least we're past the first sentence.

The piece may not have been an appetizing first course,

It may not? Does that mean it may have? Or that it wasn't? Or is it just casual degradation of the merest morsel of modernism?

Well, at least there's a food metaphor. Let's see how that plays out.

...but it said plenty about the music director's desire to do more than classical music's greatest hits.

Ah, not so much. Oh, well.

Okay, wait. Back up.

The piece may not have been an appetizing first course, but it said plenty about the music director's desire to do more than classical music's greatest hits.

Ah, very clever. By omitting the obviously necessary -- and therefore unnecessary -- verb "perform," "play," or "program" between more than and classical, the writer shrewdly comments on the stolid state of over-programming standard concert repertoire. Subtle.

The work was designed to address the questions of existence.

I...okay. Maybe? Or even: probably. But why bust that out in the middle of this particular paragraph?

Ah, but it's more clever wordsmithing; a seemingly out-of-place and perhaps profound interjection paralleling the brassy interjections in the Ives. Well played.

It featured an offstage trumpet, a simmering set of strings and a quartet of jarring flutes.

This is true.

By anyone's standards, it was odd, but provocative.

By my standards, there are two too many commas in that last bit, but that's merely a subjective point of style.

However.

By anyone's standards, Ives' Unanswered Question is odd but provocative...if it's nineteen-oh-freakin'-six.

Just sayin'.

I feel that I have been negligent, so here is a picture that is fun to look at.

Figure 1: Burl Ives is/was not Charles Ives.

Happy Thanksgiving.

New Music's Overton Window

2010-11-11T12:33:00.000-08:00

I was downright excited to see the title of this review!

Young Composers' Style, Form Make Good Match
Lynn Green, Columbus Dispatch, 10/8/2010

Young composers, eh? Good to see new art being encouraged in Ohio.

The prodigiousness of young composers took the stage Saturday as violinist Vadim Gluzman joined the ProMusica Chamber Orchestra...

That's a pretty big name to bring in to play new music by young, relatively unknown composers. Good show.

...for the "Mostly Mendelssohn" concert at the Southern Theatre.

Oh. Mostly Mendelssohn. Okay.

Well, that's fair; programming unfamiliar works on concerts with well-established repertoire is a time-honored strategy for keeping the blue-hairs and curmudgeons happy while simultaneously promoting more adventurous fare.

The bulk of the concert's length went to Mendelssohn's works,

Right; as implied. And?

...but the program also included works by Alfred Schnittke.

O-kay.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Schnittke. (He's awesome.)

Figure 1: Alfred Schnittke

But I was promised young composers. Who else was on the program? Someone...young? Or, I don't know...not dead?

Although nearly 100 years separate the two, their innovative styles and use of traditional forms and harmonies makes them an interesting match.

So...nobody? What's up with that?

[snip]

Gluzman and the orchestra performed Schnittke's Fugue for Violin Solo and Mendelssohn's Concerto in D minor for Violin and String Orchestra as a single unit. These pieces were composed, respectively, at age 19 and 14.

Wait. The concert was music by "young" composers only insofar as both dead men's works were written while they were young?

[snip]

The soloist and the orchestra played cohesively, combining artistry with technical prowess, and adeptly demonstrated the youthful sophistication of these two well-known composers.

Yeah, that cold sucks. I mean it sounds like a good concert and all; cheers for programming the relatively little-heard Mendelssohn d minor concerto (instead of the ubiquitous e minor warhorse).

But "new music" seems today to mean "written since 1900," and now "young composers" doesn't mean "people writing music who are young right now" either.

At a certain point, the bar is set so low that one isn't worried about hitting one's head so much as banging one's shins.

Compelling Backstory Explains Everything

2010-11-08T15:11:00.000-08:00

I personally believe that music can (and most likely should) be enjoyed simply as a musical experience. However, I understand that some people get great enjoyment from extra-musical information. The life of the composer, the circumstances or inspiration for a particular piece can indeed provide a context that enhance our enjoyment of a musical performance. There's no doubting that...but it's not everything, right?

Review: Grand Rapids Symphony's Classical Series concert features glowing performances, low notes
Jeffrey Kaczmarczyk, The Grand Rapids Press, October 30, 2010

Sometimes knowing the backstory means everything.

Sometimes not. I guess it depends on what you mean by "everything". Or by "knowing".

The Grand Rapids Symphony's Classical Series concerts this weekend in DeVos Performance Hall has several.

Backstories? Can't wait!

For openers, the titles to the pieces can be misleading.

Misleading titles? You're suggesting that composers misled audiences?

figure misleading: Not me.

Plus, how much of a backstory is a misleading title anyway?

But you've got my attention...I'm racking my brain to think of a title I consider misleading. Maybe...Four Saints in Three Acts by Virgil Thomson (which contains some 20 saints in four acts).

What egregious examples of misleadingly titled compositions did the Grand Rapids Symphony perform?

There's nothing pathetic about Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky's "Pathetique" Symphony.

[smacks forehead]

Its composer dubbed it "passionate," which the French translated as "pathetique," and there it stuck.

Seriously, you don't have to speak French to know that is a pathetic translation.

"Pathetique", in French, denotes a feeling of passion and sorrow, and while sharing the same root (and being a literalistic translation), is not really a direct equivalent to the English concept of pathetic as "miserably or contemptibly inadequate". Context people. Context.

By the way: Great. Backstory.

Richard Strauss took his title "Also sprach Zarathustra" from a philosophical treatise by Friedrich Nietzsche, and thankfully little else.

Well, other than the inspiration, the movement titles, and the general narrative of the piece.

In a letter to Otto Florsheim (I assume of Florsheim Shoes fame), Strauss wrote:

“I did not intend to write philosophical music or to portray in music Nietzsche’s great work. I meant to convey by means of music an idea of the development of the human race from its origin, through the various phases of its development, religious and scientific, up to Nietzsche’s idea of the Superman. The whole symphonic poem is intended as my homage to Nietzsche’s genius, which found its greatest exemplification in his book, Thus Spake Zarathustra.”

But what I want to know is why this is "thankfully" so? It's a difficult read, yet Nietzsche created an original and radical philosophical which sent shockwaves throughout religious communities. Not to mention it's the book which contains the famous maxim, "God is dead." Whether or not you subscribe to any of the philosophies of Nietzsche, he is significant figure in literature and philosophy. How weak must one's beliefs be to feel threatened by a book written over a 120 years ago.

figure same name: They share the same name, but little else...thankfully.

But again, I guess the title's misleading. I guess.

Actually, no...wait, it's not misleading at all, since it tell us exactly (with no room for mistake) the source/impetus for it's composition.

Great backstory, though. I really feel like I know everything about the piece.

Tchaikovsky conducted his premiere 117 years ago last Thursday; Strauss conducted his premiere 114 years ago next month.

You're right. The titles don't give any reference to when the premieres took place. That is misleading.

For an audience of 1,048 on Friday, music director David Lockington led glowing performances of both major works, performed this month in part to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the opening of DeVos Hall in October 1980. Both were part of the orchestra's first season in the 2,400-seat auditorium.

Seems fitting. By the way...another great backstory. I wonder what tragedy befell those of the 1048 in attendance who were not aware of this important backstory.

figure backstory: Wait, is this the right backstory?

But thinking of misleading titles...your review title suggested something about "low notes". Did something go wrong at the concert?

No guest stars were on the program, apart from a lot of extra players and plenty of very, very low notes.

Uh.

Strauss' tone poem, famous from the opening minutes used for Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey," is an expansive, imaginative portrayal of the evolution of man.

As opposed to the text by Nietzsche?

And the obligatory reference to 2001 here...really? Does that count as backstory, or just a pointless aside?

Where Strauss' audience was fascinated by the technological advances allowing man to overcome nature, today's audiences are more interested in the technological advances allowing them to reach out and touch someone else, nature be damned.

O-kay. Where are you going with this?

Thus, the importance of the nine or so themes don't always resonate.

Not sure I follow. We have facebook instead of electric light, and therefore, the musical themes don't resonate? Are you sure?

Nor does the dichotomy of two different keys, B-flat for humanity, C major for the universe, seem as jarring.

Because of technology? Cellphones are the reason B-flat and C don't seem jarring?

Wow. You totally understand the last 100 years of music. Not to mention the advent of radio and television. I mean I just love how NBC has always insisted that every jingle used in advertisements be in the key of G to avoid any cosmic disharmony.

Timing and balance is everything in the famous introduction. The former was elusive, the latter better.

The balance was better than elusive? That's quite the compliment.

But I thought knowing the backstory was everything? And if the timing and balance are everything, can both things be true at the same time?

I'm going to chalk up this last one to hyperbole...for now...

"The Great Yearning" theme expanded lushly. The conclusion of "The Convalescent" shook mortar loose in the walls. The solo in "The Dance Song" was deftly handled by concertmaster James Crawford.

So, what's the backstory here? If not the Nietzsche text, then what??? It is everything you know.

The "Song of the Night Wanderer" at end floated away unresolved, as intended.

So, the performance was apt? By the way, how misleading were these thematic titles. The image of "The Convalescent" doesn't usually bring to mind building code violations. And "The Dance Song" doesn't even begin to tell me it's for a soloist. Maybe you were on to something.

Tchaikovsky's Sixth Symphony was a tale of unrequited love, and the power of that theme hasn't dimmed a bit.

Yes, unrequited love could never be thought of as "pathetic" or sorrowful...or the sixth.

It's also a well-known war-horse that demands attention to detail.

As opposed to new, unfamiliar music which, well, no one knows what the hell it's supposed to sound like, and therefore deserves no attention to detail.

Lockington took the long view, not giving overt attention to the big moments, but leaving himself elbow room for later.

Sounds rather unsatisfying. Aren't the big moments, you know, the climactic moments of which the rest of the piece is constantly building? And "later"? Big moments mostly come at the end, no?

Also, "long view"? It's a symphony, not policies to avoid the complete collapse of civilization. Any view that looks at least an hour into the future should be adequate. One might even suggest you take it in four smaller parts.

figure long view: Taking the long view to parking at the airport. The hourly lot just doesn't make a lot of sense for my week long trip.

Somber at the outset, the famous second theme unfolded as a sunrise of its own, Lockington moving it along nicely, the orchestra responding rapturously.

Rapturous sunrise...sounds like a fabulous second theme indeed. But since we're saving elbow room for later, it's only a sunrise and not a supernova, right?

Some syncopated passages were slippery,...

No worries...it's a common problem. I've found that a little pine tar, or at least some rosin, goes a long way.

...but Lockington drew powerful sonorities from the strings, ending the long opening with a satisfying sigh.

Slippery, but powerful sonorities, ending in a sigh. Are any of these things "everything"?

But before you answer that...it's time for some Detritus Review Madlibs!

Tonight's entry comes to us from the home box office in Grand Rapid, Michigan -- discussing the third movement of the Tchaikovsky 6th Symphony, Mr. Kaczmarczyk wrote:

The _____ third movement was a(n) _____ moment of _____, _____ wrapped around _____, all on the road to a(n) _____, _____ conclusion.

fluidity
triumphant
magical
precision
upbeat
lovingly
brassy

I'm liking these options...so let's try...

The upbeat third movement was a magical moment of fluidity, lovingly wrapped around precision, all on the road to a triumphant, brassy conclusion.

Ooh. That's nice. But...it could be...

The brassy third movement was triumphant moment of precision, lovingly wrapped around fluidity, all on the road to a magical, upbeat conclusion.

It's tough call...let's just say they both work.

If some of the audiences don't applaud here, you know you've done it wrong.

Or perhaps those audiences who didn't clap are just stupid...did you ever consider that?

Friday's certainly did, and they were right.

Did what? Right?

Oh, they clapped. At least we know they're not stupid -- who doesn't know that you're not not suppose to clap between movements during certain symphonies?

Anguish poured out in the heartbreaking finale with its despondent chorale in the lower brass.

Again, I think just how right you are that the title "Pathetique" is just so misleading. And how that backstory was everything.

Lockington on the podium was visibly distraught afterward.

Really...but why?

It helps to know the backstory.

Yes, that may help, given that I can't divine the why from that one sentence.

Nine days after conducting the premiere, Tchaikovsky was dead.

I see. The symphony killed Tchaikovsky, and therefore Lockington feared for his own life. You're totally right...cholera couldn't have possibly been the culprit. If titles of popular novels tell me anything of the world, it's that cholera is a time of love, not death.

figure cholera: I've always thought that cholera would make a great backdrop for a love story.

He was 53.

Ahem. He was 53 and a half.

figure knowing: And now we know!

Symphony Saves Civilization from Complete Collapse!

2010-11-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men and women promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Minneapolis underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as musicians of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire The Minnesota Orchestra.

----------------------------------

Times are tough. Socialists are taking over the country, and people, against all logic, continue to insist that Tom Bergeron is funny. I think we've all thought that culture was burning to the ground, and civilization was teetering on the brink of complete collapse at some point during our daily routines. For me, it's during The View, and every time the Duggars have another kid.

But sure enough, at the end of each day I still sit down and watch high quality entertainment, like Dancing with the Stars and The Real Housewives of New Jersey, that reassures me that society and culture are doing just fine. For now...

But, if you're like me, you never give a second thought to the brave men and women who risk their lives 3 nights a week, and often a Sunday matinee as well, to keep culture safe. Here is their story.

Skrowaczewski is enduring, vital and free of artificiality
Larry Fuchsberg, Star Tribune, October 21, 2010

Free of artificiality? Hey, just like Snapple. Is Skrowaczewski made from the best stuff on earth, too?

Stanislaw Skrowaczewski, who this week makes his annual appearance with the Minnesota Orchestra, can seem to belong to another age.

He is indeed a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

Although, I imagine you probably mean 'era'. Whatever.

(Don't ask him what's on his iPod.)

Whoa. Who said anything about asking him what's on his iPod? I'm not some sort of animal.

But now that you bring it up, why shouldn't we ask? You know it sounds very suspicious to just bring that up out of the blue like that. What's he hiding on that iPod anyway? Is that he really loves Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus, or that he doesn't?!

Or gasp, does he not even own an iPod! How could that be? Doesn't he know that once something becomes popular, you must partake or civilization will collapse. And conversely, that our culture burns to the ground even faster through the advent of technology which replaces traditional values!

If I'm reading you right, and I'm certain I am, you're suggesting that we're all going to die, right?

But I've gotten ahead of myself.

The Minnesota-based composer/conductor, who celebrated his 87th birthday this month, has led the orchestra in each of the past 51 seasons, overtaking Willem Mengelberg and Amsterdam's Concertgebouw Orchestra, the previous record holders.

Consecutive seasons streak? And the experts said that Mendgelberg's record would never be broken.

Although, count me among the people who think Skrowaczewski's record should have an asterisk, given the extra 8 concerts added to schedule in 1979.

But the years haven't dimmed his musicianship or his message.

It's not the years, it's the mileage.

He is an artist of utter seriousness, with little time for fluff;...

figure fluff: Who doesn't have time for fluff...especially with peanut butter for the classic Fluffernutter sandwich?

So, this Skrowaczewski sounds like a pretty busy guy. No fluff, but what about entertainment or relaxation?

...if you're seeking entertainment or relaxation, look elsewhere.

What an incredibly odd thing to say. He's guest conducting the Minneapolis Symphony not saving civilization from the brink of collapse. Geez.

For Skrowaczewski, if I'm hearing him right, our civilization is on the brink, our culture is burning and musicians are called to bear witness (and, if possible, to douse the flames).

Oh.

Just going to throw this out there, but...you're not hearing him right.

However, it's a good thing the music appreciation course I took in college had me read How to Survive the Collapse of Civilization.

figure guide: It's so important to be able to find low-cost solutions, because money will be even more valuable after civilization collapses.

His music-making has taken on something of the life-and-death urgency one hears in the wartime recordings of conductor Wilhelm Furtwängler, or in Stalin-era recordings of music by Shostakovich.

Life-and-death urgency, huh? Really? I guess most things at 87 have a life-and-death urgency to them.

And with civilization hanging precariously in the balance, urgency seems like the way to go.

I am hesitant to interrupt further lest the communists were to invade. So which works did Skrowaczewski call upon to save humanity? I assume Beethoven...but I'm thinking, maybe some Brahms too. Schumann, of course, would be right out.

Skrowaczewski's current program, thoroughly characteristic of the man, frames his 1995 "Passacaglia immaginaria," in a new revision,...

Interesting call. Saving culture with a performance of one of his own works.

It's ballsy to be sure, but I'd like to see where he's going with this.

...with major works by Beethoven ("Leonore" Overture No. 2) and Brahms (Symphony No. 1).

No two better composers to fight the specters of evil.

It may not be an accident that all three pieces were reworked after their premieres.

But it could be, right?

I wouldn't want to mistakenly attribute this programming thread to the concert, and possibly allow civilization to smolder to the ground. That would be most non-triumphant.

"Passacaglia immaginaria," in Skrowaczewski's words, rises to a "terrifying climax," which is followed by feelings of "desperation" and "desolation."

So, this is more a piece for after the fall of civilization?

figure Minnesota Orchestra: The Minnesota Orchestra: musicians; scientists. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden music that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters their body chemistry. And now when the Minnesota Orchestra (as conducted by Stanislaw Skrowaczewski) plays Brahms or Beethoven, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The orchestra is driven by rage to save civilization and douse the flames burning our culture, and are pursued by an investigative reporter, Larry Fuchsberg.

His description is apt.

Glad to hear it. Apt descriptions are often appropriate.

Like his benignly titled but deeply tragic "Music for Winds," premiered in February, the piece offers no false comfort.

I don't know, with civilization about to collapse, I could probably go for some false comfort (and maybe a fluffernutter sandwich as well -- surviving collapsing societies does work up an appetite).

Drawing on a vast palette of instrumental colors, the composer conjures sounds that range from eerie to spasmodic.

That actually doesn't sound too big a range. I would have gone with "...from apparitional to zesty" for that nice A to Z effect.

The tone is often anguished; the ending -- celesta floating over quiet strings -- is inconclusive, yet somehow wrenching.

I don't know what that means, but it sounds apparitional.

But with an inconclusive ending, perhaps civilization still has a chance.

Numeral notwithstanding, "Leonore No. 2" was the first (and longest) of the four overtures Beethoven wrote for the opera ultimately known as "Fidelio." Skrowaczewski's conducting, a mix of angularity and grace, balanced the music's classic and romantic elements;...

Just guessing here, but angular=classical and grace=romantic?

...the climactic surge was breathtaking.

Breathtaking, huh?

figure breathtaking: Maybe he just said it because the conductor was in the room.

But what about civilization?!

In Thursday's account, the Brahms was a drama of ideas,...

This account was a "drama of ideas"? Oh, how I wish I knew what that meant...but I must say it does sound impressive.

I guess if Skrowaczewski is going to save civilization from burning to the ground, it's going to take a few ideas here and there. Even if they were Brahms' ideas...or maybe they were Skrowaczewski's, that's not entirely clear.

So which ideas were necessary to save culture?

...with tempos slightly more deliberate than the norm...

Yes, I like it. Deliberate tempos...the villains of culture will surely find no answer to that. A good start to be sure!

...and unusual weight given to the middle movements.

Brilliant. Unusual weight to the inner movements. I'm not sure how one redistributes weights in an already completed symphony, but with civilization on the line, it does sound like the right call.

The closing pages of the Andante, with their veiled reference to Wagner's "Tristan," have never been more moving;...

Wagner?! Which side of this battle for civilization on you on? Everyone knows that Brahms' First Symphony is an homage to Beethoven and, by the laws of music criticism, can be nothing more.

Plus, as is often the argument, Brahms' orchestral music was reactionary to the likes of the Wagner with his emphatic use of the four-movement symphonic structure and rigid sonata forms.

...the wonderful "calando" section of the finale (in which, as one writer puts it, the music seems to experience "a blissful death") made me shiver.

And...?! What happened to civilization?!

figure collapse: It turns out that all civilization is just an effort to impress the opposite sex.

-----------------------------------

Wait, did we ever discover why Skrowaczewski thinks culture is burning to the ground? And just how Brahms is going to douse the flames?

No matter. Stupid Gustav! When will you learn that music criticism speaks in poetic non-arguments. So, for no other reason than because this music review said so, I must say thank you Skrowaczewski for saving civilization. Good form, old chap. Good form indeed!

Next time I enjoy an episode of the delightfully funny Two and a Half Men, with that rascally scamp Charlie Sheen, I'll say a little prayer in your honor.

figure sheen: Really, what more could you ask from culture? Keep up the good work!

Friday Quickie: News You Can Use

2010-10-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

Critic's Pick
Jeremy Eichler, Boston Globe, 10/10/2010

-Boston Symphony Orchestra

Mm-hm.

In other news, if you want to see a football game in Pittsburgh, try the Steelers!

Also recommended: a great way to cure hunger is eating!

Ah, Eichler. We kid because we love.

Figure 1: I mean: Come. On.

Emily's Mom and Dad Think Soloist Played Well

2010-10-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

Every now and then it's nice to a have a concert that appeals to us vernacular audience members...you know with music from another country, written over a 100 years ago.

Review: Guest cellist lends his talent to Fargo-Moorhead Symphony Orchestra
J. Shane Mercer, The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead (inforum.com), Oct. 17. 2010

The encore made the night.

That just sounds sad. The one piece that wasn't on the program "made" the concert.

As the Fargo-Moorhead Symphony Orchestra and guest cellist Zuill Bailey worked their way through...

Solid introduction -- implying that the performance was drudgery -- I'm definitely interested now. But I'm so quick with these asides...carry on.

...Richard Strauss’ “Don Quixote” at the first 2010 Masterworks concert Saturday night, I kept thinking, “I like Zuill. I’d just like a little more of him.”

Yes, well, I've never quite understood why people insist on treating Don Quixote as a cello concerto. There is a solo viola part too, you know.

But it's a cool piece, so if Zuill was happy, I'm happy.

It seemed that the composition didn’t give the chart-topping recording artist and performer room to do his talents justice.

Yep...waste of a perfectly good soloist with an awesome name. Zuill.

figure tonight's soloist: There is no Dana, only Zuill.

But with regards to that "do his talents justice" comment...don't kid yourself, that's not an easy piece music. As one string player puts it "...Don Quixote separates the men from the boys, the women from the girls, and in doing so tests the real quality of the musician.”

I know that's not a funny quote, but I'm making a point here: words do have meanings.

But at the close of “Don Quixote,” after much applause and a bouquet of flowers (that he passed on to a cellist in the orchestra), Bailey returned to the stage...

...for the encore? For the encore that "made the concert"?! Wow. Really, I quite excited.

...and performed a gorgeous interpretation of the cello-only Prelude to Bach’s First Cello Suite in G Major.

A lovely piece indeed.

The tones that rang from his more-than-three-centuries-old cello sounded like the voice of a human at times.

Well, I prefer my cellos to sound like...cellos. But to each his own.

With that, I felt satisfied, though I would not have complained had he gone into a second solo (or that same one again).

Man, what else is on the rest of this concert that could leave you so incredibly apathetic about hearing more of the Fargo-Moorhead Symphony?

Some crappy Bruckner symphony?

Bailey’s smoky, dark good looks have helped land him a number of television appearances.

Oh, I get it. It's not what the orchestra has programmed, but you have a crush on Zuill. Well, I've always said that pretty people are better musicians than ugly people. I think it's a scientific fact.

So, what does Zuill Bailey look like?

figure handsome: Tom Brady plays the cello, too?!

This guy makes Rostropovich look like a pile of puke. So, we can see that he's hot, but what about his personality?

He hit the stage Saturday in all black with a stage demeanor that is immediately likable and engaging.

Sounds dreamy.

“He’s a real performer,” said Doris Matter of St. Cloud, Minn., whose daughter, Emily, plays bassoon in the orchestra. “He really engages with the audience.”

Wait, Emily's mom? Is she some sort of authority on this subject?

Well, what did Emily's dad think?

“You can tell he’s into his work,” said Peter Matter, Doris’ husband.

I must say these might qualify as the most random people you could have interviewed.

So, really, onto the rest of the concert. You've hit the highlight in the soloist's encore, and sort of implied that you didn't really care for the rest of the concert, so...

The music at Saturday’s concert focused on Spain.

Ah, Spain. Home of the tooth mouse, Ratoncito Perez.

figure tooth mouse: Oh yeah, this is much more amusing than a fairy.

In any case, a program about Spain, huh. Well, the Strauss is about a famous Spanish character, but the music is quite German, yes? He even quotes his own orchestral suite, Le Bourgeois gentilhomme, which is based on a French play. But, these program threads are always tenuous. What else was on the concert?

It was the first Masterworks concert of a year dubbed the “Taste the World season,” in which each concert will focus on a different part of the world. It opened with 19th-century composer Emmanuel Chabrier’s “España,” a light and fun romp that has the liveliness of Spanish music,...

Wait, the Spanish piece, called "España", has the liveliness of Spanish music...? Are you sure?

...though not a great deal of its distinctive dark half-tones. At the end of “España,” conductor Bernard Rubenstein and concertmaster Benjamin Sung jokingly hugged, a reference to a comment said to be made by Chabrier that at the end of the piece, the audience would embrace one another.

I assume everyone was let in on the joke in advance, because while I consider myself an aficionado of all things Chabrier (as I imagine most of the audience were as well), I did not know that anecdote.

The gesture drew laughter from the audience.

I can only assume.

It’s noteworthy because it’s a microcosm of something that this orchestra is doing very well: walking the fine line of being accessible to a more vernacular audience while still maintaining the dignity of the art form.

Hugging = vernacular?

I'm not sure that word means what you think it means.

The orchestra can do so, in part, because the music is of high quality, which is really what makes art worthy of dignity in the first place.

Music of high quality is what make art worthy of dignity? It's an interesting thesis.

And, as if to illustrate that point, Saturday’s comic moment came after a tight, tidy performance of Chabrier’s creation followed by another quality performance on “El Sombrero de Tres Picos.”

Which has no composer, of course. But I notice that the title is in Spanish. Nice. That totally fits with the focus on Spain.

But, you're making some sort of point about the symphony being more accessible to us vernacular sorts. How was a quality performance of a piece about hats accomplishing that?

figure vernacular: "Left Unalakleet warmth for rain in Juneau tonite. No drought threat down here, ever but consistent rain reminds us: 'No rain? No rainbow!'"

I guess hats are vernacular, although, I can't really remember the last time I saw someone wearing a hat with three-corners, so maybe that mitigates the vernacular quality of this performance some, yes?

In some sense, Bailey’s performance was also a nod to that approach – whether intentional or not.

Really? How so?

Bailey is handsome, engaging and has television credits, too.

I see. You're right, we are a shallow, celebrity-obsessed society. We couldn't possibly value Bailey's talent as a cellist above his looks and popular culture credentials.

But when the bow strikes the strings, the form is not without substance. And that is the key.

Lesson learned. To all you ugly children out there...just give up now. You may have substance, but without the form... .

[Pro Tip]

2010-10-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

What's a good way to casually devalue something while, ostensibly, talking favorably about it?

Concert Review: Electrifying performance of contempo-music
Bogdan Fedeles, The Tech [MIT paper], 10/8/2010

Yeah: Title FAIL.

(Otherwise quite a decent little review. Do go read it. And after you have, ask yourself:

What the hell?)

Friday Quickie: Tired Cliches and Rants Edition

2010-10-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

The best way to get your point across and grab the attention of the reader to make a connection right away. So, many critics find a point of agreement as their topic sentence. But that's where so many critics run into trouble -- the generalization.

I know, I know. It's just an innocent comment, but really...does it serve any purpose at all, other than to reinforce the idea that contemporary music is generally awful? Anne Midgette is an excellent critic, and I expect better from her on the fundamental issues like this one.

I mean, I understand. But sometimes...you know...[sigh].

Take it away, Anne.

If you want to scare off an audience,...

Wait for it...

If you want to scare off an audience, offer contemporary music.

Nailed it. Couldn't agree more. Yep, contemporary music is awful. And now that I think about it, classical music is boring, also. Which begs the question why anyone would ever program that new music garbage?

Oh, wait. Could it be that's a gross generalization that reflects antiquated thinking? The casting of an audience as a single, like-minded organism is so very lazy. I think it's safe to say that not all of us regular symphony patrons like the same music. Some of us want nothing more than to hear contemporary music often (very often) at the symphony, and to never hear the Bruch Violin Concerto ever again (for example).

I know -- we don't count. There's only so much information that can be included in your standard stereotype, so it's easier to ignore the minority and make all arguments as though we don't exist. But we do exist. And the problem is, at least as is my experience, some of us will purposefully avoid your average symphonic tripe on a regular basis, nearly assuring that we'll never feel connected to these institutions.

But the strange part (and the most reassuring part as well) is that while critics like Ms. Midgette (and actually I read Ms. Midgette quite often, so I know she's much better than this) dwell in the delusion about the awfulness of contemporary music, orchestras are smarter. It no longer makes sense to generalize about the attitudes of audiences, especially as the new garde of conductors -- Marin Alsop in Baltimore, Gustavo Dudamel in LA, David Robertson in St. Louis, Robert Spano in Atlanta -- all make programming contemporary music part of their missions. How is it that these people, who need to schmooze the blue hairs on a nearly daily basis as part of their very livelihood, are further ahead of the curve on this issue than music critics? Seriously. It's time for a new cliche.

figure scary music: Sounds like ants eating my face.

Oh, but I cut you off. Contemporary music scares audiences, but...

If you want to soothe it, offer George Gershwin.

Well, I would have said Beethoven, but 20th century American music is a good call too.

----------------
Read the full article here:
Concert review: Post-Classical Ensemble's 'Gershwin Project' at Clarice Smith Center
Anne Midgette, The Washington Post, September 23, 2010

Just Saying It Doesn't Make It So...

2010-10-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

But it's a nice sentiment nonetheless:

Chicago Symphony Orchestra: not just for old people
(Erin Schumaker, Medill Reports (Northwestern University Medill School of Journalism), 10/13/2010)

As a bonus, it's a cogently written and, apparently, edited (!) article, if a bit of a fluff piece.

Still, it's nice to see that not only is classical music still attractive to younger people, classical music journalism may just survive into another generation yet.

Extra points for the hilarious title, even if it does reinforce an unfortunate stereotype (the very one that the article attempts to dispel).

Creeping-Hyphen Menace Reaches Columbus

2010-10-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

Figure 1: "There are places in America where creeping hyphenation is already taking hold!"

Season opener nicely balances familiar and not
Barbara Zuck, Columbus Dispatch, 10/11/2010

There is a specter haunting American arts journalism: the specter of unnecessary punctuation.

The ProMusica Chamber Orchestra of Columbus capped a big weekend for the performing arts tonight with a superb season-opener at its home, the Southern Theatre.

"Season opener" is a compound noun, and not adjectivally modifying...anything. Why the hyphen? The poorly constructed title of the article gets it right, for once.

Music Director Timothy Russell accomplished what he has done so many times before: assemble a wonderful program that...

He accomplished...assemble? Say, that is an accomplishment! You know, in the rarefied air of avant-garde subject-verb agreement circles.

Music Director Timothy Russell accomplished what he has done so many times before: assemble a wonderful program that balanced the familiar with the "not-so" and starred a brilliant guest artist, American cellist Zuill Bailey.

The "not-so"? Is an orphaned modifier somehow worthy of quotes, or just a random punctuation attractor [er, punctuation-attractor?]?

A recent chamber-orchestra arrangement of the well-known Mussorgsky piano work Pictures at an Exhibition opened.

Yikes. Why not hyphenate "piano-work" as well? Also, and not for nothing, that is some textbook passive voice right there. The Mussorgsky "opened," did it?

This version was created...

Orchestrated?

...by a member of a renowned Brazilian musical family - Clarice Assad, sister of the well-known guitar duo, the Assad Brothers.

Why use an m-dash to do an m-dash's job when the hyphen is sitting right there on your keyboard, staring you in the face? Or when a comma would do just fine? A colon, even, would be a good candidate; but no. The Creeping Hyphen Menace is trying to subvert the very principles established by our English-speaking founding fathers!

Clarice Assad's arrangement brims with clever instrumental combinations, interesting solo-instrument choices and a sense of humor.

Solo-instrument? Sure! Why not "instrumental-combinations" and "sense-of-humor" as well? Yeah, I guess that'd be too obvious.

Those who know the piece well might have found themselves chuckling at various moments, as well as marveling at the colors created by the particular instrumental hues Assad selected.

Might have. Might not, though. I guess. Is this a speculation based on personal experience, or a projection about how one who knew the Mussorgsky may have reacted?

Safer not to alienate anyone. I mean: who knows that piece, anyway?

No hyphens in that sentence, anyway. But maybe we're being lulled into a false sense of security?

ProMusica reprised Prokofiev's marvelous Symphony No. 1 (Classical), a charming and melodic work that is among the composer's best-known creations.

See? The hyphens are pretending to be well-behaved and normalized. That's how they getcha.

Was Prokofiev having fun at music-history's expense - or merely enjoying himself creatively?

Okay. My fears were justified.

"Music-history"? And another use of a hyphen where a comma would do, or an m-dash would be appropriate? Barely noticed, did you? Man, these hyphens are playing the long game. They're willing to wait us out.

Also, the entire premise of this sentence is...unintelligible. I don't know what "enjoying himself creatively" means (it sounds like a euphemism for individualistic onanism) , nor do I know why it's differentiated from "having fun at music-history's [sic] expense."

Perhaps both.

I...see.

Oh, wait. No I don't.

ProMusica had a good time as well, most notably in the heavy-footed "gavotte."

Oh, well, as long as they had a good time. Playing a "gavotte." Which is...a movement from the Prokofiev? Yes, it is (III: Gavotta non troppo allegro), but you wouldn't know that unless you already knew it.

Bailey, a native of Virginia with an exotic appearance onstage, joined the orchestra for the closer, the Concerto No. 1 for Violoncello and Orchestra by Shostakovich.

Figure 2: The exotic appearance of Zuill Bailey.

Playing a magnificent 1693 Gofriller cello that once belonged to the Budapest Quartet's Mischa Schneider, Bailey sounded as facile as a violinist...

One doesn't expect a professional soloist playing anything other than a violin, or perhaps a piano, to demonstrate any agility on their instrument.

...while simultaneously delivering a powerful and sonorous tone quality no matter the range of the score.

This awkward sentence could have, mind you, been further garbled by substitution "score-range." So there's that.

The Shostakovich No. 1 may not be regarded as your typical instrumental showpiece.

It may not? (Although I don't see why.)

Bailey may have changed a few minds last night with his virtuoso rendition.

He may have? What does this double-speculation-as-possible-contradiction construction achieve?

Many of Columbus' major arts groups offered performances this weekend. ProMusica's concert was the stand-out in the crowd.

Sigh.

Figure 3: "Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little package!"

Friday Quckie: Brahms' music was indeed intellectual

2010-10-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

I do realize that most critics are not theorists or musicologists, and from time to time their reviews may call for such considerations. They may be forgiven if their comments aren't always one hundred percent accurate. However, we here at the Detritus just have to say..."wait, what?"

Review: West Michigan Symphony gets season off to fiery start
Laura Alexandria, The Muskegon Chronicle, September 25, 2010

The final selection, Johannes Brahms' (1833-1897) Symphony No. 4 in Eminor [sic], was described by Speck as "intellectual" and "lavish," and indeed that is what it was.

I just love this confirmation by the critic of the conductor's pre-performance talk:

Yeah, he described this Brahms Symphony -- pssh -- as "intellectual", but I had to hear it first to be sure. Who ever heard of this Brahms character anyway? I'm not one of those rubber stamp critics you know...up here in Western Michigan, we demand results!

Actually, I'm sure it's a completely innocent statement. But a little editing would have revealed how that last remark is really completely unnecessary.

Moving on. Tell us more about the music of this Brahms fellow.

Although not melodic, Brahms' music is a balance between technique and expression,...

Yes, yes. Balance of technique and expression, not melodic and...wait. ...

What?!

Brahms' music is not melodic?! Are you sure?

I mean, I've heard of a lot of Brahms' music before, and I've also heard quite a few melodies.

I guess I don't know what you mean. Are you suggesting that Brahms' music doesn't contain groupings of pitches arranged in a linear progression? Is the Fourth Symphony nothing more than homophony?

Oh, perhaps you're using the term "melodic" in the most idiotic sense of the word, to mean 'a hummable tune'. Please say that isn't so.

But if it is so, is there anyone out there who can't hum the opening theme to Brahms' Fourth Symphony? To any of the movements really.

Even 70's prog-rock band, Yes, thinks the Fourth Symphony has a melody.

But I interrupted you, perhaps the rest of your sentence will clarify this unsubstantiated claim.

...and the symphony delivered on the classical form, the dynamic range, and some lovely woodwind passages in the second movement.

Whew! The four movement structure of the piece was in doubt until the West Michigan Symphony came along. Thanks, guys!

Rhetoric Effectively Used to Say Little

2010-10-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

I've read reviews in the past, but never one quite like this. It was fitting, and poured across my eyes like words from a computer screen. The descriptions glowed effervescently with metaphors and similes sparkling with the delirium of cliche observations and orgasming in a "cool down" and a dubbing.

Chopin was there too.

Review: Rockford symphony starts season on high note
Tim Hughes, RRStar.com (Rockford Register Star), September 20, 2010

I’ve attended opening night at the symphony in the past, but never one quite like this.

Really? Never??

figure guess: This would be a bit different...what do you think?

So what was so unique about this concert?

It began with Czech composer Bedrich Smetana’s “Overture to the Bartered Bride,” a comic opera which, since its first performance 145 years ago, has become a staple of opera company repertories around the world.

So, the overture to a standard repertoire opera is uncommon for opening night symphony concerts?

I think I'm confused.

The brief, lively overture was a fitting opening number for the new season, reaching an incredible intensity.

Fitting? Why do you say that? It's a comic opera about arranged marriages...is that the fitting part?

Or just the "incredible intensity"?

Then came the evening’s guest artist, Jeffrey Biegel.

You're right. Why would we care about why you felt it necessary to single out this opening night concert as unique, or why the Smetana overture was especially apt? That kind of first-person elucidation is boring.

Let's move on.

In honor of the bicentennial of Frederic Chopin’s birth, Biegel performed two of the composer’s early opuses...

Seems logical, but rather stiff...how about a out-of-place metaphor or simile that tells us nothing?

...that at times fell on the audience’s ear like cascading brook water.

Beautiful. Plus it's rather cliche. Bravo, sir.

figure Monument to Chopin in the Singapore Botanical Gardens: Not funny, just thought it odd that Singapore has a monument to Chopin.

So, I'm a pretty big fan of overwrought prose and metaphorical descriptions. Do you have any more?

At other times, it was delivered with a fury that gemmed and jeweled each note as his fingers flew across the keyboard.

Impressive. I think you've succeed quite nicely in telling us pretty much nothing.

Next, Biegel performed Keith Emerson’s “Piano Concerto No. 1,”...

Which Chopin did he play again?

...which radiated with an onrushing cacophony of sound glittering with the frenzy of modern urban life and climaxing in a horizon wide crescendo of breathtaking tonal power.

Bravo. Your words are as florid as they are meaningless.

After taking several well deserved bows,...

I'm sure the ovations were well-deserved...the bows on the other hand...

...Biegel, in what might be deemed a “cool down” encore, moved the audience with a tender rendering of Chopin’s “Fantasy Impromptu.”

"Cool down"?

figure cool down: Good call. We definitely wouldn't want to do something we would feel sorry about later. Thanks, Chopin.

Anyway, why would one have doubted that deeming?

The evening was capped with a performance of Brahms’s sprawling “Symphony No. 1.,” dubbed “The Tenth” in recognition of it similarities to Beethoven’s ninth.

Why tell us the Brahms has similarities to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony? Is that relevant to this performance?

Nevermind, you're right, don't overwhelm us with details. Information only confuses the matter.

General impressions, melodramatic metaphors, and unexplained opinions are the tools of any great critic.

Critic Defies Logical Explanations

2010-09-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

Word choice is a funny thing. And this can be especially true when that word is in the large, bolded text at the start of an article. It may be my shitty worksheet/fill-in-the-blank education, but my eye tends to gravitate to those words and give them extra importance.

So, you'll forgive me when I read the following title, and wondered...hmmm.

Review: Vienna Philharmonic defies expectations in Danville
Loren Tice, Lexington Herald Leader, September, 29, 2010

Defies? Really? I'm not sure you're using that word correctly.

Petulant children defy their parents.

Republicans defy logic.

figure defies expectations: "I'm not much for giving inspirational addresses, but I'd just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last. The local press seems to think that we'd save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I'm for wasting sportswriters' time. So I figured we ought to hang around for a while and see if we can give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat!"

But the Vienna Philharmonic usually exceeds expectations. You see most people naturally assume (based on their storied history and reputation) that they are a very good, if not great, orchestra. To defy that reputation, you have to assume that the Vienna Philharmonic purposefully played poorly.

Defy can mean exceed, but usually that applies to something or someone originally thought to be terrible at the given task. Kind of like those Police Academy movies. Rarely are great things/people that exceed our expectations described as "defying" them.

figure more defiance of expectations: Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!

You see?

It's a small thing, but you know, we're just picky that way here at the Detritus.

But what do I know, maybe they sucked. Let's find out, shall we?

The great thing about expectations is when they are dashed — for the better.

Dashed? Again, that words has negative connotations when associated with something good.

For example, hopes are dashed.

When expectations are dashed that really only means, "not for the better".

The august Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra never plays outside the musical capitals of the world. But Monday night, there they were in Danville's Norton Center for the Arts on Centre College's campus.

Yes, this is odd. Explanation?

And they surely would make a poor match to one of the most exuberantly youthful conductors in the world today: Venezuelan Gustavo Dudamel. (The Vienna Philharmonic uses only guest conductors.)

Yes...they would...make a poor match? Why is that again?

Count it a match.

Right. No time for explanations. I forgot this was music criticism -- just make unprepared, cliched assumptions and go from there.

So, how was it a match?

Dudamel was wise to never over-conduct.

Not that I disgree, but when would it be wise to "over-conduct"?

I think the words themselves suggest that one should never do that. It's kind of like over-cooking food -- I can't really think of time that I'd recommend that.

Not once did he subdivide a beat to be clearer.

Less clear conducting. Got it. That does sound better.

His trust in the cohesion of musicians he barely knew was total.

He trusted them to just play, even with his unclear conducting? I guess that makes sense.

And what he got in return was total commitment.

To his non-conducting? Okay, I'm a little confused.

Might you say that the orchestra defied him? Seeing as we don't know what that word actually means.

It is so rare to see every single musician dig in with so much conviction. Some expectations held.

Wait a minute. So, some expectations held. Did you establish which expectations didn't hold yet? Surely, we're getting to that part soon, right?

I think we should back up a minute and clarify ourselves. What are our expectations...generally speaking?

Dignity from central Europeans as opposed to informal directness of Americans.

I'm not sure with this exactly means, but it fits in with my cliched understanding of Europe as snooty and pompous and America as awesome and extreme (whooo!), so I'll go ahead and nod approvingly.

figure dignity: Europeans as I understand them to be.

The sound of the instruments reflected that.

Reflected what? Dignity? What does that mean?

The string tone was not volume-rich and certainly not edgy, but it was unbelievably luminous.

Interesting. So this means, by logical contrast, that American orchestras are loud, edgy and unbelievably not luminous.

Sounds about right.

Woodwind tone was subtle, even thin, especially in the double reeds.

Hmmm. This sounds rather not good, as it were. Maybe I'm misreading you here...maybe the Vienna Phil did defy expectations.

What else ya got?

The flutes were so cottony smooth that they didn't cut through the texture well in solos.

Double reeds and flutes sucked. Check.

The grand exception was the first clarinet: a tone of gold, played by a man with music in his very bones.

In what part of the body are the "very" bones?

The perfect showcase for these instruments...

Wait. What?

The perfect showcase for thin double reeds and flutes that can't cut through the texture?

...was the concert opener, Antonín Dvorák's Symphony No. 9, "The New World."

Oh, well...I didn't know it was Dvorak's "New World". Carry on.

As much as Americans love to claim this work — Dvorák wrote the piece in the United States — it is quintessentially European in sound.

Thank you. That's what I've been trying to say.

The symphony is often played with American brashness, but this reading was controlled excitement.

Controlled excitement. Sounds like this might have been part of Tanner Family Fun Night.

figure jodie sweetin: Meth? Well, not exactly what I had in mind, but...okay.

Blend and clarity of layers were in perfect balance. And so were the musical thoughts.

The musical thoughts were in balance?

Several times, a soft flute solo was answered by violins so caressingly it was like willow branches bending over lovers. Now that was Dudamel's doing,...

Are you sure it wasn't Dvorak's doing?

...and he indicated it with typical understatement.

Dudamel? Typically understated?

I thought his style was too undignified for the Vienna Philharmonic, which I assumed was because he was typically not understated in his conducting.

Is this our defied expectation?

Oh, he could be a viper with his baton.

An understated viper...

The very next moment was an explosion that was riveting in its contrast.

And this wasn't in the score?

But there was not a bit of the showboat in his gesture. That shows respect for the orchestra.

You thought his respect for the Vienna Philharmonic was in doubt?

Are you suggesting that Dudamel doesn't respect the LA Phil, or any of the other symphonies he guest conducts?

All bets were off for the first selection after intermission,...

Really? Wow, what sort of brash, over-the-top piece do we have next?!

...Leonard Bernstein's Divertimento of 1980.

Oh. A Divertimento? A divertimento with a "Turkey Trot"...all bets were off?

[btw, I love this piece...it's just not an "all bets were off" type of piece. It's...you know, a divertimento.]

The orchestra's personality did a complete about-face. The extrovert Bernstein, with his fabulous fanfares and peg-leg dances and naughty non-sequiturs, found plenty of gamers to match him.

Naughty non-sequiturs? I love those...let me give it a try.

figure non-sequitur: Thank you once again, Failblog.

Perhaps the jazz riffs could have been more down and dirty.

Perhaps.

But you had to love Dudamel's Charlie Chaplin conducting style.

I don't know what this means, but you're right, I do have to love it.

Two Maurice Ravel pieces topped off the evening, Pavane for a Dead Princess and Boléro, and you would expect French music to sit uncomfortably.

Oh, those Frenchman, and their uncomfortable music.

But exquisite subtlety was back. There was no over-emoting in the sad Pavane.

How did you know that I like to understand all music by virtue of some sort of trite, simplistic stereotypes? And you've made this real easy...American music, loud and brash; European music, boring and understated.

Do you happen to teach music appreciation at the local community college?

But we're getting a bit unfocused. We were talking expectations and the defiance of those expectations...

The beginning of Boléro was as courageously done as the beginning of the Dvorák symphony: almost inaudibly soft. Few conductors will try it. It couldn't have been missed, how much tension was built in expectation of the crescendo to come. That expectation was fulfilled.

"Fulfilled"? That's a funny way to defy an expectation.

And the ending was full-bore abandon — along with the audience's appreciation of it. Then what a delight in a Viennese encore treat, Johann Strauss Jr.'s Pizzicato Polka. It was, of course, tort sweet.

Wait...doesn't tort mean "a wrongful act"? What an incredibly odd word choice.

Or did you mean "torte"?

Whatever.

To summarize, Loren Tice had some expectations. Those expectations were defied. However, the orchestra played well, in the expected manners of each piece, and was conducted in a way conducive to the orchestra and the music. The end.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

2010-09-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

This will not do.

Music review: Chanticleer's "Out of This World"
Joshua Kosman, San Francisco Chronicle, 9/21/2010

Thematic programming is always a fine thing, even if it's often little more than a pretext for a musical group to do more or less what it was going to do anyway.

Well, that seems reasonable, marketing after all being what it is, and...

Wait. What was that first bit?

Thematic programming is always a fine thing...

Always?

That is a lie.

That is a damn lie and you know it, Kosman. And I, for one, won't stand for it.

Exhibit A

Figure 1: Several indicators, including pointless lasers and talking pop-culture robots, point to the underlying seriousness of this effort.

Exhibit B

Figure 2: Like eating Nutella with a spoon.

Exhibit C (for fuck's sake)

Figure 3: The soft bigotry of low expectations indeed.

Figure 3a (supplementary): Enough with this doe-eyed horseshit.

Pro tip: Always never use the word "always" when reviewing music.

"Philip Glass Organ Works". So does mine!

2010-09-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

A small diversion today -- Anne Midgette, the very capable critic for the Washington Post, simply made me laugh with this telling, possibly unintentional, juxtaposition.

figure juxtaposition: Good call. They really are more of an appetizer.

During a season preview concert, the Baltimore Symphony played works by Prokofiev, Mahler and Mozart and...

The biggest hit with the audience was John Williams's "Star Wars" theme, which will be featured on a space-themed January concert along with a co-commissioned work by Philip Glass.

Nothing says space theme quite like Philip Glass?

No judgments, here, about highbrow and lowbrow.

What an incredibly odd thing to say.

The BSO is working to make people feel welcome, turning what has traditionally been a society event into a genuine social exchange.

Poor, Philip Glass. Does no one like your music?

Which reminds me of an Amazon.com user review of a Glass album which I ran across a few days ago:

Handel composed water music. Philip Glass composes water-torture music. Certainly, the track-by-track agony of waiting for Glass' infernal triplets to reappear (and they do, again and again) is akin to counting the moments until the next water particle falls. What is it with those triplets?

[snip]

Glass pays tribute to Disco with track two ("Lightning") and Jimmy Webb's "MacArthur Park" on track five. Linda Ronstadt pays tribute to bad soprano singing on tracks three and six. Pay tribute to your intelligence by avoiding this washed-up exercise in minimalist excess.

I am amused.

figure glass: Happy Happy Happy, Everybody Happy.

Litotes [?]

2010-09-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

Ask a random person on the street to name a composer. Was it Beethoven? Maybe; if it wasn't, perhaps it was Bach. I'd bet on it. I call this the "What If I Asked My Dad?" method of thought experimentation.

Figure 1: Not the Bach to which I was referring.

Musicians adore Bach. Even the most cynical historian, theorist, composer, or performer, in my experience, adores Bach.

People who love music's mathematical designs love Bach.

People who love music's emotive qualities love Bach.

People who love to study elaborate contrapuntal techniques love Bach.

People who love to perform love Bach.

Analysts love Bach; musicologists love Bach.

Everyone the fuck loves Bach. And with good reason.

Bach is the unambiguously most revered composer in the canon. Beethoven might be more enfant terrible-y; Mozart more zesty; both are undoubtedly massively influential. But it's hard to overstate the influence of Bach on, oh, say, the last 300 years or so of Western art music.

The Power of Bach, the Comfort of Morricone
Vivian Schweitzer, New York Times, 9/20/2010

So: Bach, right?

Bach strongly influenced several prominent South American composers, including Heitor Villas-Lobos of Brazil and Alberto Ginastera of Argentina.

Mm, hm. Mm-hm.

Figure 2: The Grand Canyon was strongly influenced by the Colorado River.

Hilarious understatement as rhetorical device?

Yeah; no. I wish.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc - Great Music Edition, Part II

2010-09-15T15:03:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the second part of our look at what passes for journalism at Film Music Magazine.

Guest Editorial: Is Film Music Great?
John Graham, Film Music Magazine, September 8, 2010

Continuing from where we left off, Mr. Graham had just finished establishing that the academia has colluded to repress any acceptance of enjoyment as a measure of piece's greatness. Furthermore, he contends that great music comes not from within the soul of a composer, but from the impetus to please the person paying the bills.

He now continues pondering scorched earth trailing behind these maniacal academics.

Where Has the Insular Elite Left the Arts?

In shambles, I'm sure. It's really a miracle that there remains a culture that could still produce musical geniuses like Eminem and Lady Gaga.

So what is the result of the “insular elite” seizing the helm and steering the arts?

There's that word...elite. So much antipathy for elites, what with their medical and technical breakthroughs, contributions to building governments and societies and their endless philosophical and artistic contributions to culture.

For answer, I look to the marketplace.

Marketplace answer? It's done wonders for the economy, so I can only assume that it will do wonderfully in helping us to determine which music is truly great.

How busy are concert halls?

According to the League of American Symphonies, very busy.

How many poetry magazines are there today?

Good question. Just a quick search of the Google turned up Poetry (in publication since 1912), Conversation, Oxford Poetry, 32 Poems, The Gettysburg Review, Shit Creek Review, The American Poetry Review, Poetry London, Mezzo Cammin, Two Tone, Untide Press, and several others. But that's not as many as are dedicated to celebrity gossip, so I get your point.

How many people, even the educated, feel free to like or dislike a work of art or a piece of music without reference to whether it’s on some “approved” list?

You shouldn't speak ill of the Authority if you care for your safety. I had a friend once who hated Webern's Symphony, op. 21. They crab canoned him within an inch of his life. Really, I've said too much.

Are scalpers charging $400 a ticket to any symphonic concerts?

Well, since we're into conjecture, I assume anecdotal evidence should suffice as an answer to your question. I once saw Citizen Kane for free at a film festival, and I paid $100 a ticket to see Britney Spears when I was in college...(yeah, I saw Britney Spears...twice! She was Lady Gaga before Lady Gaga was Lady Gaga, and sometime after Madonna was Lady Gaga.)

Anyway, you're a film composer, has anyone scalped tickets, for any price, to a concert of your music?

By the way, what's your point? You do realize that it's sort of stupid to equate how much people pay for something with its intrinsic value, right?

Does one feel susceptible to being made a fool of if one expresses dislike of, or bewilderment with, a piece of art only to learn that, say, the V&A paid millions for it because it had been approved by critics as “groundbreaking?”

Depends, am I disliking the piece for good, well-founded reasons, and am I basing my opinion on 'just because'?

You do realize you're only a fool if you express dislike but don't have any reason to support your opinion, right?

Does the announcement of new works of the sort championed by academics excite anticipation or, instead, a desire to flee?

We are certainly getting far afield from the original question of "what makes music great", and even further from "is film music great".

But the desire to flee based on an announcement sounds dangerously close to prejudiced. You're not prejudiced, are you, John? You know pre-judging a work before you've heard it.

I think we know the answers to all these questions.

We do? How convenient that your singular set of experiences have provided all of us with answers to these questions.

Few people, even among the educated, anticipate with pleasure new music, poetry or art, and I place the blame squarely on the Academy’s failure in leadership.

And those few people really don't count. By all rights, we should marginalize and belittle them for their stupid and very wrong opinions.

How about a history lesson to help us understand how we got to this awful state of the arts?

The history of this debacle goes back at least 50 years.

For clarification's sake, the debacle we're discussing is that people write music you don't like, right?

Championing a combination of what, by around 1945 or 1950, had become a rigid and almost unassailable “canon” of Approved Old Guys, plus a more recent crop of dissertation-ready music, with its systems to analyze, structural rigour, and harmonic ideas rooted not in enjoyment but physics or some other realm of intellectual novelty, The Academy ground the fun and natural enjoyment out of new music so that by now we see the legacy in too many empty concert halls and a feverish urge, even among regular concert-goers, to hasten away from any music labeled “modern.”

Damn, that's one hell of a sentence you've got there, John. I was hesitant to interrupt such a beautiful, rambling mess. But ultimately, I think that's a pretty good summary of what the ignorant think happened in classical music over the past 50 years.

How is that good for music?

I guess it wouldn't be good for music. But you know, John, there's one aspect to this whole editorial-thing that you should be aware of -- just because you say it, doesn't make it so.

Generalized statements based on purely speculative evidence about music over the past 50 years doesn't make for a compelling argument. Well, unless you went to Arizona State.

However, if you were to have some examples to support your argument...do you, John, have any examples?

Hasn’t the same contempt toward popular work produced the same scorched earth seen in many of the arts? Serious poetry,...

Serious poetry is popular?

...to take one example, has been relegated to oblivion nearly everywhere in the West. Young people look for thoughtful art that can help them make sense of their crazy lives, and find it only at iTunes.

There's serious poetry on iTunes? And young people look for thoughtful art? Is Jersey Shore considered thoughtful art?

Meanwhile, academically-sponsored art itself seems engaged in extended seppuku, crabbed and tangled with explicit and implicit rules for art that surely throttle the natural creative impulse.

Seriously, you're going to need to give me an example. How is music produced in academic circles committing suicide? Just because you don't listen to it? Or is it financial suicide? Should they charge more for their music?

And furthermore, why do you care if academic composers have committed suicide? I thought your point was that great music doesn't come from academia, but from music-for-hire situations?

How likely is Great Art to appear from the hand of the average professor-composer suffering a full teaching load, with time to write at most a 20-40 minute piece in an entire academic year that he or she knows will be subjected to some kind of analytic scrutiny instead of just heard and liked, or not-liked?

I don't know...very likely? How about this John -- you can listen to the piece and just like it or not like it, and all those evil academics can analyze it to death. Then you can tell that composer your gut-based opinion, and if the composer survived the savage raping from the other academics, I'm sure he'll thank you.

Plus, how dare that professor have a full-time job and try to compose. What a fucking loser, needing healthcare and a steady paycheck. Not to mention the fact that they might actually enjoy teaching.

Should we add the criterion that great art is only created by those without families or other sources of income?

Real composers sell their music because it's awesome, and don't need outside work, right? I mean it's not like Mozart or Beethoven ever taught students. Pssh.

How likely is Great Art to appear from a composer-in-residence whose main obligation is to generate music that the faculty and / or the committee approving his re-appointment will prize?

How is composing music for a faculty or committee any different from writing music for a paying client? I'm assuming that he took this job because it paid him a salary, right? Is just that you object to any opinion that has a basis?

Fuck me, John. Did a composer with a pipe and tweed jacket kill your family when you were a child?

My guess is not too likely.

I'm glad you're guessing. Because, fuck, if you actually had any support for your claims, I'd suggest we torch every school of music around this country and end the madness.

I am not sure whether a film composer has or will overcome the shortcomings and pressure of the medium, and produce something so good that “they would not willingly let it die.”

Who is "they"?

It’s very early to be sure what, in 50 or 200 years, will still be admired. But I’d bet that commerce, over time,...

Fuck me, Nostradamus, but didn't you just get done telling us exactly what music won't be remembered?

...will beat the products funded by the “difficult and dense” school of composing or The Committee To Destroy All Arts Via Committee.

Who funds that committee?

But, nevermind. I'm with you, let's get rid of The Committee to Destroy All Arts Via Committee. They sound like an awful committee. Plus, they have a stupid name.

Ironically, the result of decades of strenuous efforts of critics seeking to guard us from low-brow music is that the overwhelming majority of new orchestral music is produced for media, rather than the concert hall. Of all orchestral music written in the last 20 years, what proportion was written for film and TV? 90 percent? 99?

Seriously, John, you and I are totally pals. But, come on, that's a pretty lame argument.

Did you know that over 99% of all the basketball played in this country doesn't happen in the NBA? Clearly, that means the best players aren't in the NBA, statistically speaking, of course.

I am willing to place my bets there, in music-for-hire, rather than any Milton Babbitt or Luciano Berio or other composer whose work is so dense and difficult that it requires an instruction manual, or “historical perspective,” or decades of study to appreciate.

Instructional manual...classic.

But, John,you've been so incredibly open-minded and inclusive thus far, you're not really going to argue that music that is complex is lesser than simple music? Well, that might make you look like a judgmental asshole, and I don't want your powerful message to be lost.

So what's wrong with music that requires study or "historical perspective"?

Who has the time?

Oh, I get it, you're a busy guy. Well, I have the time. But what does that say about you...you're a composer and you don't have the time to listen to music? Possibly broaden your musical horizons? Or was your understanding of music perfectly formed when you were 12 or 14?

But now I'm being judgmental. I'm sure that you have a perfectly valid reason for thinking that complex music has nothing to offer you...

I listened at age 12 or 14...

Good, an anecdote from the early teen years...the most reasonable and thoughtful years of most people's lives.

...for the first time to Beethoven’s third symphony, and that was it – instant admiration, astonishment; powerful feelings of all sorts, with no study, no manual.

Good for you. You "just liked" it, therefore the piece is great. But...

I just had a thought, John. What if you hadn't liked the piece on the first listening, how many more chances would you have given the piece, or does it always have to be "instant admiration"? There was a chance that you would have decided that Beethoven's Third Symphony wasn't (gasp!) any good. And then what would we have done?

Or is it that no one could have not have liked that piece on first listening without, you know, being wrong?

And while that instant recognition of something you want to hear again is naturally not be the only criterion for greatness,...

I'm glad to hear that you recognize the highly subjective nature of your example...however, I sense a 'but' coming.

...the academics’ near-automatic rejection of such instant delight, to me, is a sure sign of a institution that has missed the forest for the trees.

Academics reject liking a piece upon first listening? You must know some really shitty academics. I mean, who rejects unquantifiable, bullshit emotions from tweens as a standard measure of the greatness of a piece of music? Fuck.

Popularity is Not Enough

Yes, we know, it also had to make money.

Lest a misunderstanding emerge,...

Yes, lest a misunderstanding emerge.

...I think it important to emphasize that I don’t equate popularity with artistic merit.

Just money, right? And that people have to "just like" it.

The one does not automatically grant the other.

Yes, but you've argued that someone has to like the piece. So, how many people must like a piece of music for it be considered great art? Or is it more a percentage thing?

Can a single person like a piece, and it still be great?

I know, I know, I'm taking your argument to the furthest extremes. I hate when I do that. But, in my defense, it's only because your argument is so completely without any merit whatsoever.

But, I am saying that it remains widely fashionable to assume that there can be no connection between the two, to dismiss in horror even the consideration of the artistic merits of anything that actually is popular.

So let me get this straight, you just said that popularity doesn't equate with artistic merit. But if someone else were to say that popularity doesn't contribute a work's artistic merit, they're wrong?

I'm wondering, if it does matter whether a piece is popular, what would it mean if a composer were to compose a piece of music specific not to be popular!?

Even worse, a healthy proportion of scholar-composers actively seek to offend or displease an audience, even trying to out-do each other in driving audiences up a wall.

And this is wrong, of course. How should we punish them?

I have seen reviews chortling about how some piece made members of the audience leave, and what a success that was.

Why is that you value one emotional response more than another? Should all paintings be of bunnies and pastorals? No photographs other than sunsets and couples grinning stupidly at Disneyland? Should every novel/movie have a happy ending?

Tell me, John, what my music should sound like so as not to offend people.

A New York Times piece by an active composer repeated the now taken-for-granted saw that, without offending someone, a piece couldn’t possibly have any artistic value or be considered daring and new.

Don't worry, your biased paraphrasing of their argument is more than fair. Please don't provide any context or actual quotation.

To me it is nonsense to link the two; and not merely harmless nonsense. Indeed, it has had the pernicious effect of driving ever more people away from new music.

And what do you care? I'm getting the feeling that you don't really care for, or have the time, for new music.

But you are entitled to your opinion. You may be very right on this point.

Of course one has to acknowledge that it’s possible to write something that upsets some people but that, nevertheless, has real artistic merit.

One does? Why should one acknowledge that? It's not like we're ever going to listen to any piece like that...we already know, without hearing the piece, that it sucks -- for many previously established reasons.

But it’s equally possible that such pieces are merely sophomoric, irritating bilge.

It's equally possible? Equal as in 50-50? I like those odds quite a bit. So, one out of every two pieces that seems to upset some people has artistic merit. If only pop and film music could have such a success rate.

So why do you have so much antipathy for this music? Seriously, what the fuck gives?

It may be that a great new work will offend, but offense doesn’t guarantee greatness.

Got it. Just like popularity doesn't guarantee greatness. So why are you ranting against this music and the people who write it?

Just because audience members storm out does not mean one has written “Le Sacre du Printemps.”

But, of course, academics think this, because they are so easily confused by audience members leaving during the performance that they cease to have any control of their own personal judgment or standards.

Yep, they go to every concert with a checklist in hand:

Weird chords -- check
Offensive sounds -- check
Has interesting but clearly irrelevant "historical perspective" -- check
Can only be understood with instructional manual (which is purposefully not given to non-academic audience members) -- check
Audience members left in a huff -- check
Great Music? -- Double check!

Has the Academic Tide Turned?

Yes?

Clearly, film departments at universities...

Oh, yeah. This editorial was about whether film music is great art. I nearly forgot in the midst of all your unsubstantiated academic bashing.

...have grown in number and accreted a degree of respect.

So, universities aren't all bad. At least the parts that validate what you do for living. And not those snooty concert composers and their music that hates audiences.

And even a cursory glance at the titles of books and papers reveals that academics are directing meaningful energy at popular music. Serious work appears about Wagner and Copland, to be sure, but also about James Brown and Eminem.

Well, they are musical geniuses, too. But I'm confused. You were upset when these academics were writing books and papers about music you don't like, but now because it's about artists who you do like, you're commending them?

Should we boil down all academic pursuits to whether or not you agree with them? Based on the infallible nature of your arguments in this editorial, I say yes!

Even heavy metal music gets attention, along with practically every area of jazz, barbershop quartet, Stephen Sondheim’s musicals – unquestionably there is meaningful energy spent on popular works nowadays.

But Stephen Sondheim musicals are shitty. I thought the goal was for them to only write about musical geniuses. right?

Or are you saying that Sondheim is a musical genius? Fuck, if you're saying that, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to take back all the nice things I've said about you.

Even so, these papers and compositions seem written for and largely consumed by peers only.

Which means they shouldn't exist and the people who wrote them should probably just die.

In some cases, it is clear that they are stuck applying traditional yardsticks to validate the music they are examining, and that the pieces’ or composers’ quality is in those circumstances measured by the degree to which their music uses analyzable structures or techniques.

This would seem to be a great place for an example. But I watch Fox News too, conjecture is as close to fact as most Americans care about anyway. Carry on.

In other cases, the titles of these efforts appear to tangle the music with social or other non-musical issues. Phrases in a few titles such as, “the Musicological Skin Trade,” or “Charles Ives and Gender Ideology,” can’t help but make one wonder whether academic legitimacy, when writing about popular music, derives in those cases more from the music itself, or the reliably meaty arena of sociology.2

And your point? What if it does veer into sociology? If Ives' music is sexist does that make your music any less great?

Unless this is some sort of personal vendetta against higher learning in the arts, I'm wondering what your point is? Why do you want the approval of people you obviously despise?

As a result, it is not clear whether such music is taken seriously, or is serving mainly as an as-yet-unexhausted topic for a paper or book to be read by other academics.

So sociology isn't to be taken seriously? Damn, is there anybody with a brain of whom you aren't skeptical?

I have been told that Jane Austen initially wrote primarily for her family and friends, in order to entertain and divert them. Whether apocryphal or not, that desire – to entertain and divert – needs to be rehabilitated from decades of condescension and contempt if we are going to reinvigorate the concert repertoire, attract an excited new audience to concert music, and restore a positive link between music as it is actually practiced and the halls of academe.

Way to claim something that you have yet to establish that no one disagrees with -- well, other than your fictional dastardly sociologist posing as a professor of music.

Who knows whether any particular composer in the popular sphere is producing works that anyone will value in 100 years?

Simon Cowell?

What we can say, I think, is that most music which today we consider great, including that of Beethoven or Bach, was created for some fairly prosaic purpose – a church service, a feast day, an opera with a plot hastily hashed together, a concert on such and such a date.

To quote one of our readers, this is a "hot mess of something."

But let me try to follow, you wrote earlier that it didn't matter to you what the motivation was behind the composition of a piece of music. But, by proximity, you make the implication that music for commonplace occasions might make a piece valuable in 100 years. Am I close?

Of course, some commissions were spurred by coronations and other Great Occasions as well, but anyway, when the message came in, “we need some music” I assume it wasn’t “we need music that will Stand The Test Of Time,” but “we need music that The Guy Paying For It Will Like.”

And this makes a piece better? Are you just guessing that this is true? In any case, let me write back to you your own words:

It doesn’t matter to me...what the purpose of the writing is, whether it’s a lofty goal or, by contrast, a desire to impress a girlfriend / boyfriend, trying to make money, escaping a soul-destroying job alternative, rivalry with other composers / band-mates, seeking everlasting greatness, or sheer vanity.

So why would writing a piece for posterity or to please a patron matter? Can you see the contradiction?

It saddens me, both for composers and audiences, to picture the tortured, narrow channel into which composers seeking concert performances have been forced by critics and other cerebrals. Over many years, this has generated a catastrophic rupture between new music and audiences. We need to reset our criteria for selecting Important New Music so that it no longer seems explicitly to ignore anything likely to excite / interest / move / entertain or otherwise please an audience.

I think we're all with you on this. Why all these universities and music organizations explicitly ignore exciting and interesting music is beyond me.

With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict, and bring order to the ~~galaxy~~ arts world.

Or were you only speaking about music which you find interesting and exciting?

The scribbling tribe has for decades behaved as though determined to crush any compositional impulse that might be recognizable as something that might originally have motivated the production of composers like Bach or Beethoven. That should end.

Sure, what the hell. Consider it ended.

I hope that the symptoms in academia reflect a tide that has turned decisively, and that we will therefore eventually see an embrace by concert halls of music (and poetry and art) that audiences would enthusiastically pay to experience. Imagine what, say, James Newton Howard might produce for the concert hall if he were to receive the sponsorship of someone influential in that arena?

If James Newton Howard were to ever give any evidence that he could write good music, that would be a interesting experiment.

In the mean time, I believe film and game music, for good or ill, has replaced symphonies, opera and church music – the mainstays of former times. And, if one accepts that idea, I believe that if we are to see great music written in our own time, it will be in media where we find the bulk of it.

And by replaced you mean not replaced, right? Because, you know there still are symphonies, operas, and tons of churches with music every Sunday morning.

---------------------------------------------

Since Mr. Graham didn't really bother to engage his original question of whether or not film music is great art, I shall also ignore it, other than to say, that there's no reason it can't be great. There is lots of wonderful music written for film, and I would have enjoyed a thoughtful discussion of how film music stands on its own against concert music. Too bad.

So, we're back to the question of who gets to judge the music -- the critics and academics, or the unindoctrinated masses? Well, in my experience, I've never understood this dichotomy. This is a false choice. Both are free to pass judgment in any way they want. Critics and academics like to use knowledge, history, theory, circumstantial and direct evidence (musical and extra-musical) to form a complete picture of a piece of music. And by contrast, there are people like John who like to use their gut. Both are effective methods, except when it comes to wanting to know more than whether someone liked a piece.

John Graham's big mistake here, besides not consulting an editor, is that he starts with the question of whether film music is great, and then never bothers to engage that question meaningfully. Instead, he chooses to take the position that it is great (or at least that it most likely is), and the only reason most people don't realize this is due to the institutional dismissal of all music-for-hire. Mr. Graham relies on ad hominem attacks against academia, and a series of logical fallacies to support this position, not once providing any support for his (unstated) thesis that film music is great (or should be thought so by academics). He appeals to emotion, to popularity, and to spite -- all of which are classic errors in reasoning.

Of course, as is most often the case, his opinions are easily ignored since he offers nothing more than unsubstantiated attacks. However, the harm is that this sort of ill-conceived, childish argument perpetuates a commonplace misunderstanding of music. A misconception that music owes something to us. That when we don't like a piece of music, it has done us wrong, and the composers have lost their way. While everyone is always free to like or not like any piece of music, that music has no obligations to you. Music doesn't have to make you happy, please you, provide you with emotional catharsis, or look or sound like anything. In fact, it doesn't even have to try and be popular. Rather than investigate why all these critics and academics may advocate for a certain composer or piece, Mr. Graham assumes that he already knows everything, and therefore all the critics and academics must be wrong. It's this sort of ego that will always keep ears closed, and music a stagnant, historical object.

However, that's obviously not the way Mr. Graham sees it. He accuses academics of having the egotistical view of music by ignoring pure enjoyment. There's essentially no response to that sort claim since his argument is based on a alternate view of reality. He doesn't understand the mission of academia, nor the difference between subjective and objective thought.

Furthermore, such points of view only serve to reemphasize the stereotypes that new music is something to be feared, and that academics have no relation to the outside world. Mr. Graham's suggestion that great music should provide "instant admiration" is a childish notion. A notion that only serves to show that he can't speak intelligently about music.

As Milton Babbit wrote, "he also will offer reasons for his 'I didn't like it' - in the form of assertions that the work in question is 'inexpressive,' 'undramatic,' 'lacking in poetry,' etc., etc., tapping that store of vacuous equivalents hallowed by time for: 'I don't like it, and I cannot or will not state why.'"

Classical music, by its nature, is a sophisticated form, which doesn't lend itself to "instant admiration" -- although, it certainly might. Like some things in this world, it may take a second or third listening to fully appreciate the artistry in a piece of music.

With regard to academics, well...fuck. I'm not sure what to tell a person who objects to studying an art form. Mr. Graham basic assertion that professors reject the relative "enjoyment" given a piece of music is both bullshit, and sort of true (although, not in the way he suggests). Music professors also love music (at least many do). But like with any serious, academic discussion, one's opinions and emotions are not qualitative measures. Even though Beethoven symphonies all easily surpass the required 33.7 Enjoyment Units (EUs) to be acknowledged as great music, it's just not an aspect of Beethoven symphonies that interest academics.

With just a small amount of training, the spectrum of music opens up, and as a result some ubiquitous forms of music can become increasingly plain and uninteresting. They offer no surprises nor originality, and sometimes as a result are rather boring. However, there is music out there that is full of depth and complexity which can be appealing....new music. Despite Mr. Graham's insinuation that academia forces this music upon these students and professors, it's actually a pretty natural and easy to understand phenomenon.

However, I am not arguing that more complex music is superior to less complicated music. It's not. Neither one is good nor bad based on the virtue of its relative complexity. To borrow from Ecclesiastes and pop psychology, there is a time and place for all types of music. So pardon us if we don't feel the need to capitulate our standards to your shallow vision of what music is, and should be.